CapedCrusader08
Banned
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2008
- Messages
- 524
- Reaction score
- 3
All In All,it went very good. It was only a 2 hour session,so we had only so much time to discuss whatever we could. Today,I just layed down what I thought to be basics. How I have been feeling,how things don't seem to be getting any better,possible solutions to some of it,etc.
On another note, I feel I had a bit of a breakthrough today...
So,there is this girl I work with,been freindly with her,not banging her,just sorta went out with her and people before, and she wants to get some people together to go out tomorow and have some drinks,so I figure ok. Well,I have had a massive crush/oneitis on her for a long time,I mean, it's not where like I just do whatever she says at the drop of a hat,but,my head has been wrapped around her, you must know the feeling. Anyways, she seems to really want me to go out,I do want to, but the way my schedule is set up, I work till midnight. So, I tell her I will change it so I can come out.
Anyways....
Well,things quickly changed for me. Remember the guy I mentioned who is basically a natural,well,she is the one girls he was/is banging, so he sets something up where according to him,her and this other girl,are gonna go rent out a hotel room and spend the night. I mean this guy,he moves from chick to chick,and he's married,anyways, it cause a bit of a knot in my stomach. I then start to realize,wtf am I doing? I am changing my schedule to accomodate her. I mean sure,I would get out early, I would be able to go out have a few drinks,but really,for what? So,I decided,I'm not gonna go. It's nothing personal,no one did anything to me,I mean this girl, she has been always very nice to me,hence,why I like her. But for my own sake,I am not gonna go. Plus on Saturday morning, I have to go to drunk school,for the oui I had recieved when I got into my accident. I mean, did I do the right thing by deciding not to go?
Also, as I was walking home,in my state of pondering, I can't help but ask myself,why am I like this, and how do I get out of it? the one main thing,well one of the two or 3 main things bothering me the most, has been the lack of women/dating/sex in my life. I mean, with all the methods and tips, I can't figure out something to go out and work with. So something is lacking. I mean, to me, I am still stuck in "women only go for *******'s, or very good looking guys" mode. I mean, I don't know what's real,both are,aren't they? It's all internal right? confidence,security,how you carry yourself,etc. Plus the skills. Pushing those right buttons,but without being creepy about it. I mean,in my mind,I still have this idea of forever love,and commitment,and faithfulness,etc. Or is that unrealistic? I mean,maybe I am not that fun to be around. you guys say over and over,be fun,be relaxed,etc. I guess, I just gotta go out and start approaching and meeting more,and getting more comfortable with myself.
On another note, I feel I had a bit of a breakthrough today...
So,there is this girl I work with,been freindly with her,not banging her,just sorta went out with her and people before, and she wants to get some people together to go out tomorow and have some drinks,so I figure ok. Well,I have had a massive crush/oneitis on her for a long time,I mean, it's not where like I just do whatever she says at the drop of a hat,but,my head has been wrapped around her, you must know the feeling. Anyways, she seems to really want me to go out,I do want to, but the way my schedule is set up, I work till midnight. So, I tell her I will change it so I can come out.
Anyways....
Well,things quickly changed for me. Remember the guy I mentioned who is basically a natural,well,she is the one girls he was/is banging, so he sets something up where according to him,her and this other girl,are gonna go rent out a hotel room and spend the night. I mean this guy,he moves from chick to chick,and he's married,anyways, it cause a bit of a knot in my stomach. I then start to realize,wtf am I doing? I am changing my schedule to accomodate her. I mean sure,I would get out early, I would be able to go out have a few drinks,but really,for what? So,I decided,I'm not gonna go. It's nothing personal,no one did anything to me,I mean this girl, she has been always very nice to me,hence,why I like her. But for my own sake,I am not gonna go. Plus on Saturday morning, I have to go to drunk school,for the oui I had recieved when I got into my accident. I mean, did I do the right thing by deciding not to go?
Also, as I was walking home,in my state of pondering, I can't help but ask myself,why am I like this, and how do I get out of it? the one main thing,well one of the two or 3 main things bothering me the most, has been the lack of women/dating/sex in my life. I mean, with all the methods and tips, I can't figure out something to go out and work with. So something is lacking. I mean, to me, I am still stuck in "women only go for *******'s, or very good looking guys" mode. I mean, I don't know what's real,both are,aren't they? It's all internal right? confidence,security,how you carry yourself,etc. Plus the skills. Pushing those right buttons,but without being creepy about it. I mean,in my mind,I still have this idea of forever love,and commitment,and faithfulness,etc. Or is that unrealistic? I mean,maybe I am not that fun to be around. you guys say over and over,be fun,be relaxed,etc. I guess, I just gotta go out and start approaching and meeting more,and getting more comfortable with myself.