Well I did it, lost my V-card

[_Dream_]

Well some of you know my story by now, but let me give repeat some points
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I was in a 6 year long relationship with i girl i was about to marry. She was almost everything i wanted in personality and looks. Only problem was that she was very christian and shy, so we kinda waited for marriage for sex.
That would be horrible but i was getting world class *******s, grindjobs, titjobs, for 3-4 times a week, and she would always put a lot of effort, mostly it would last 30-60 minutes. As i went to work abroad and we got kinda distanced, she dumped my ass out of nowhere. Said she was cold for some time and she kissed another dude. Dude that is in every way worse than me, anti-social, bad job, no real life friends, low confidence, never had a gf ( 24 year old), doesnt even live in the same country. But he had time to skype with her when i was busy working and he is super shy just like my ex. Also she knows girls hit on me all the time, and that made her nervous... she will fvukin regret it

Anyways, after swallowing the red pill, gettng into manosphere and seeing how deep into matrix i was, 3 weeks after break up i asked a girl out and since then things started to escalate and she wanted the D bad.
We have been seeing each other for 12 days now, and as some of you remember i had to totally dominate her to get her to take off her pants ( face fvuck her, force myself into her panties, etc, ). She wanted to fvck but i couldnt get it up since i was nervous and frustrated on how much force i had to use.
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LAST NIGHT:

Well last night she came over again and thx to your advice i tried a different approach this time to make it fresh.
I let her be the dominant one, while i pretended i was tied down and her victim. That got her super horny super fast and before you know it she started riding my d*ck cowgirl style.
That was super fun, felt great ( but i would still say masterfull long blowj*b is better ), we both came, and i lost my virginity ( one i was saving for the person i loved, im 24 years old, hahahaha )

But here come the problem, one hour later, i wasnt happy, i felt disgusted by her, and all i wanted was for her to leave and not come back.
I felt betrayed, sex was supposed to be something i do with THE ONE, not some random girl that i dont even like that much.. I even make sure she drinks day after pill so there is no chance of me being stuck with her.
After blowj*b from my ex i would feel full of energy, on the top of the world, ready to conquer everything and anyone... now i felt like ****.

I am bitter, and missing all the good times with my ex. ITs been 40 days since the break up, and i am doing no contact, but i miss the joy of having a girl to hang around all day and have fun...
MAybe i should filter better and just fvck girl i genuinely like for their personality..

Well anyways, im happy i got that part of my life done with. World gave me a big FVCK YOU, and took me out of the matrix, so i said big FVCK YOU right back at the world

Sorry for long post, typing here is also a form of therapy for me.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Congratulations man. I know what you mean with the disgust, were you christian too? And even if you were not, you had this idea of "sex with the One". That is what is ****ing with your head. That and the relationship life. But I've been thinking about it and it's really not that awesome. Sure, it has really good things, but I don't know anymore if it is worth it, at least with that much investment. Maybe the realization that a happy couple life is nothing but a charade is the ultimate red pill to swallow.
Anyhow, I'm happy to read that you are progressing so fast.

 

[_Dream_]

Congratulations man. I know what you mean with the disgust, were you christian too? And even if you were not, you had this idea of "sex with the One". That is what is ****ing with your head. That and the relationship life. But I've been thinking about it and it's really not that awesome. Sure, it has really good things, but I don't know anymore if it is worth it, at least with that much investment. Maybe the realization that a happy couple life is nothing but a charade is the ultimate red pill to swallow.
Anyhow, I'm happy to read that you are progressing so fast.

Nah am an atheist, but i didnt care for sex so much. Since i was threated right by her and really enjoyed spending time with her.
Also i dont understand how are you supposed to stay alpha in a relationship any more. You WILL have days where youre exhausted, when you're cranky, when you dont feel like doing anything. You will have bad days where you just want to lay on her lap and cry your problems out. You will have moments where you would rather agree with her than to continue fighting.
If there is another guy, lets say at same alpha level as you, even lives the same life, he has the advantage of simply being new, mysterious and exciting, since she doesnt know him..
Anyways thank you, im trying my best to use this chance to better myself as much as i can.

 

[dustmuffin]

Good for you

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Also i dont understand how are you supposed to stay alpha in a relationship any more. You WILL have days where youre exhausted, when you're cranky, when you dont feel like doing anything. You will have bad days where you just want to lay on her lap and cry your problems out. You will have moments where you would rather agree with her than to continue fighting.
If there is another guy, lets say at same alpha level as you, even lives the same life, he has the advantage of simply being new, mysterious and exciting, since she doesnt know him..

That's what I'm talking about. That is the kind of thing you can do with your friends, not with a girl. Just look at the literary works of the ancients. The only woman that a man would cry to was her mother, and not always would it had good consequences. So there's no going back to a relationship like that, because it was a charade in the first place. At the moment I believe that we could explain our feelings to these girls because there was a high value difference in the relationship, and because we really were their world. But in the moment we could not give them all the attention they needed they looked for a hyperbeta guy that is always giving attention.
And I'm not going to be in a relationship with a girl that needs that much attention anymore, so that kind of comfy relationship is lost forever.

 

[NSX-R]

Congratulations.
You just came into a realization that nothing in this world is as we planned or believed to be.

Enjoy your life outside the Matrix.

 

[marmel75]

Congrats on the V card loss but the mindset you have regarding women is holding you back.

"The One"?? Get the fvck out of here with that Hallmark bullish!t. The chick you think is "the one" has probably swallowed more cvm and been violated in more ways than you could ever imagine. And guess what? She loved every fvcking minute of it. Sh!t, half the chicks calling themselves "virgins" have taken it up the ass numerous times.

95% of women are sluts who love sucking and fvcking c0cks. The other 5% are lesbians. The sooner you wrap your head around this the better off you will be.

Stop thinking you are going to find Snow White. This isn't Disney and you aren't Prince Charming.