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Weird Stuff Happened...

Blacksheep

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It may see stupid, but I would like to hear some opinions.

I'm on a LTR for one year, and this week something weird happened... the same time it happened, I just felt something might be wrong. But btw, I kind of tried to believe that I'm wrong. I don't like to believe into something until I'm sure about.

A time ago I post here about intuition and a guy that as she said "I don't know how this guy appeared on my instagram, I didn't follower him". It's her brother's friend (he was a good looking guy). This is kind of weird cause I've been around this guy sometimes and he look at me on a strange way. She swore to me that she didn't had anything with this guy. So, I moved on. But I didn't believe that... I pretty sure there is something.

So, this week she sent me a good night message really quickly at 8:30 pm and then just disappear. Whatsapp 2 checked icon doesnt appear, it was only one when I answered her... and I felt weird because she never did that. She always kept her wifi on. Her explanation was: "I was feeling so stressed out and tired about job, also I was feeling jealous because you were posting some workout stories on your instagram, then I didn't want to keep my internet on.".

I tried to called her, but he changed her phone and she said she need to get a new mobile chip for that. So I couldn't consider this.

But this thing of turning off the wifi, she always slept with it on... I know cause most times I slept later and I sent something to her... The message was with 2 checked icons all time. I don't have such a bad memory.

So, as crazy as it might seem... I think that: She started to become jealous because I've started to workout again, then idk but she felt threatened if some girl could possibly see that story and maybe go talk to me. So this emotion made her cheat on me like a revenge. I'm not saying this happened, but it was the first idea that came in my mind.

She was comfortable before because I didn't use to post anything on my personal life on social media... But I just did that. The interesting thing is that she felt uncomfortable with this... Like, I couldn't do that.

I know everything is possible, and I had some very weird experiences with women in my life. So, that's why I do not completely discard that.

In this same day, I paid her part on pilates class, asked her to give me that part but she has only 50, then I have to get back 20 bucks to her. She ask: "Are you going to give me this back? Cause I really need that"... This is something that I'm really considering breaking up with this girl. I paid for everything for more than 6 months while she was unemployed, and now she come and said that. Those stuffs seems really like a red flag.

I would like some help figuring out that. I don't like to make false assumptions or blindly believe on my intuition.
 

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Blacksheep

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Sounds like some weird stuff is going on here. Normally when a girl starts doing things out of the ordinary, without a reasonable explanation, she's doing something she's not supposed to.
Yeah man, I have a thing that idk but may aggravate that... Not that I feel better or superior. My family have a IT company in my town... We sell to Brazil and other countries. So, everyone knows who we are here.

I had a lot of experiences with gold diggers getting near me. Those are pretty easy to identify... But also there are some covert gold diggers, that knows how to play with your mind.

It's good if you want easy sex and stuffs... but its also fcking dangerous. I try to hide it the most I can, but people here gossip a lot!

I'm also getting some support to some trustable friends in here. Cause she is the kind that if I break up, she came in front of my house and don't go away until she doesnt found me. It happened also when I was only dating her casually... I'm affraid she can do something crazy.

And for all those weird stuffs, I have to deal with my emotions, cause instead of all that I like her. I think this is the hard one, I know that I should leave... but my feelings are messing up.
 

LARaiders85

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Ouch, well trust your gut but not a lot you can do other than start going out
 

Black Widow Void

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From what you've written, this relationship doesn't sound very balanced.
My advice is to eject. I'll explain.
Most of us here have made concessions for women (and in retrospect, we realize we made *too many* concessions).

The more invested you become in a woman (which includes being leery and giving a benefit of the doubt) the more difficult it becomes to break from the relationship.

I'll admit that I've done this. I'd say to myself, I'll stick around, but keep my eyes wider open this time. Looking back, I would have been wiser if I didn't kid myself.
Seriously, it's best to get out than to invest energy into someone that is undeserving.
 
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Blacksheep

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From what you've written, this relationship doesn't sound very balanced.
My advice is to eject. I'll explain.
Most of us here have made concessions for women (and in retrospect, we realize we made *too many* concessions).

The more invested you become in a woman (which includes being leery and giving a benefit of the doubt) the more difficult it becomes to break from the relationship.

I'll admit that I've done this. I'd say to myself, I'll stick around, but keep my eyes wider open this time. Looking back, I would have been wiser if I didn't kid myself.
Seriously, it's best to get out than to invest energy into someone that is undeserving.
That makes sense.

She is swearing to me that she is not lying about that. And I just said: "Ok, but I still can't believe in this story"

Or I've become really paranoid and affraid by my past experiences, or there is something really missing in this situation.

I can't see light in this. I consider the fact that I might be wrong... but I've fcked myself too much for not trusting me.

The only solution I see now is take some time and energy and really get to a conclusion about that.
 

andreihaha

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I don't know why you feel the need to post sh1t on instagram if you have a perfectly good thing going on. If I'm happy with a woman and I get enough sex, why would I care about what anyone else thinks?
Don't you agree this is the root of your own insecurity now?
 

Blacksheep

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I don't know why you feel the need to post sh1t on instagram if you have a perfectly good thing going on. If I'm happy with a woman and I get enough sex, why would I care about what anyone else thinks?
Don't you agree this is the root of your own insecurity now?
Don't understand your point. Can you explain better?

About posts, I didn't post stuffs about my relationship... Just posted a story where I was working out at my gym. And ok, after that I thought about it, that was really nonsense. But at that moment I was feeling good and just shared it. It's kind of the addiction feeling of using social media I guess... Reason why I deleted it for some months, but now I've come back I have to be aware of those behaviors coming back.

Im really feeling insecure about some stuffs... but I realized it's not external. Something within that I need to solve with myself. Cause when ure confident, those kind of things really don't make any sense.
 

andreihaha

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Don't understand your point. Can you explain better?

About posts, I didn't post stuffs about my relationship... Just posted a story where I was working out at my gym. And ok, after that I thought about it, that was really nonsense. But at that moment I was feeling good and just shared it. It's kind of the addiction feeling of using social media I guess... Reason why I deleted it for some months, but now I've come back I have to be aware of those behaviors coming back.

Im really feeling insecure about some stuffs... but I realized it's not external. Something within that I need to solve with myself. Cause when ure confident, those kind of things really don't make any sense.
That's exactly what I mean. Being happy and confident makes you forget about petty stuff like social media validation.
Everyon knows social media is nonsense but we are still tricked into it from time to time. Usually when we are insecure about ourselves, after a break-up for example.
My point is this: forget about social media! And realize that when you're starting to care about how many people react to your pictures, there is a problem inside you that you have to solve. I'm just realizing this as I write this, I guess I don't think about this too much. I only use my facebook account to talk to my group or friends usually.
 

Blacksheep

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That's exactly what I mean. Being happy and confident makes you forget about petty stuff like social media validation.
Everyon knows social media is nonsense but we are still tricked into it from time to time. Usually when we are insecure about ourselves, after a break-up for example.
My point is this: forget about social media! And realize that when you're starting to care about how many people react to your pictures, there is a problem inside you that you have to solve. I'm just realizing this as I write this, I guess I don't think about this too much. I only use my facebook account to talk to my group or friends usually.
That's true! As difficult as it seems to become aware of this... I can observe that happening to me. But fortunately, I can have this critical analysis of those behaviors and try to improve.

I'm learning a lot about self-acceptance, self-respect and self-empathy... Cause I know in some points I'm doing stuffs being affraid to hurt someone else desire... It's being a time to challenge this and go further as I did with some aspects of my life.

Social media seems like a form of validation we may seek for our egos. And it's hard to get out of that sometimes haha

Thanks for your feedback!
 
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lamath

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It may see stupid, but I would like to hear some opinions.

I'm on a LTR for one year, and this week something weird happened... the same time it happened, I just felt something might be wrong. But btw, I kind of tried to believe that I'm wrong. I don't like to believe into something until I'm sure about.

A time ago I post here about intuition and a guy that as she said "I don't know how this guy appeared on my instagram, I didn't follower him". It's her brother's friend (he was a good looking guy). This is kind of weird cause I've been around this guy sometimes and he look at me on a strange way. She swore to me that she didn't had anything with this guy. So, I moved on. But I didn't believe that... I pretty sure there is something.

So, this week she sent me a good night message really quickly at 8:30 pm and then just disappear. Whatsapp 2 checked icon doesnt appear, it was only one when I answered her... and I felt weird because she never did that. She always kept her wifi on. Her explanation was: "I was feeling so stressed out and tired about job, also I was feeling jealous because you were posting some workout stories on your instagram, then I didn't want to keep my internet on.".

I tried to called her, but he changed her phone and she said she need to get a new mobile chip for that. So I couldn't consider this.

But this thing of turning off the wifi, she always slept with it on... I know cause most times I slept later and I sent something to her... The message was with 2 checked icons all time. I don't have such a bad memory.

So, as crazy as it might seem... I think that: She started to become jealous because I've started to workout again, then idk but she felt threatened if some girl could possibly see that story and maybe go talk to me. So this emotion made her cheat on me like a revenge. I'm not saying this happened, but it was the first idea that came in my mind.

She was comfortable before because I didn't use to post anything on my personal life on social media... But I just did that. The interesting thing is that she felt uncomfortable with this... Like, I couldn't do that.

I know everything is possible, and I had some very weird experiences with women in my life. So, that's why I do not completely discard that.

In this same day, I paid her part on pilates class, asked her to give me that part but she has only 50, then I have to get back 20 bucks to her. She ask: "Are you going to give me this back? Cause I really need that"... This is something that I'm really considering breaking up with this girl. I paid for everything for more than 6 months while she was unemployed, and now she come and said that. Those stuffs seems really like a red flag.

I would like some help figuring out that. I don't like to make false assumptions or blindly believe on my intuition.
Be frank here, do you have a history with jealousy or similar gut feeling like this with other women.

If not and you know you are well centered and balance person, then there is a good chance your feeling is right.
From my point of view it does look like something is up.


On the money front, her expecting you to pay for her when she can affordnit herself is a red flag.
With time those things will get worst if you dont put a stop to it.
 

lamath

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I don't know why you feel the need to post sh1t on instagram if you have a perfectly good thing going on. If I'm happy with a woman and I get enough sex, why would I care about what anyone else thinks?
Don't you agree this is the root of your own insecurity now?
This is how i spot recently single women or when they are going to be single soon.
 

Blacksheep

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Be frank here, do you have a history with jealousy or similar gut feeling like this with other women.

If not and you know you are well centered and balance person, then there is a good chance your feeling is right.
From my point of view it does look like something is up.


On the money front, her expecting you to pay for her when she can affordnit herself is a red flag.
With time those things will get worst if you dont put a stop to it.
Actually I had a history of not trusting myself, then figuring out that something was really wrong. That's because I used to be a kind of nice guy... When I was jealous was about some things like (male friends for example) but now when I see that, I just move on... Don't even lose my time with women like that.

Also I can tell that I only started to be aware of this kind of money stuff in this relationship, after reading The Rational Male. Thats a big red flag and I'm feeling stupid at some point, cause I've talked to her a lot of times... and everytime I tried to talk about that, she used some drama queen techniques to revert the situation.

But anyways, I just broke up... Decided that on wednesday. No reason to keep that anymore. Those drama queen and victim games drained my energy completely, so I choose to stop worrying about others and follow what I want.

Today I've already started spinning plates again... met a really hot woman and had a great sex. I'm back to the game, and now I'm gonna play it right.

Funny thing, this woman I've met today asked me when I invited her to come to my place, what I wanted her to buy and help for our date. She have her own house and job... It seems like Universe showing me that, when a woman have a sense of moral, she can care about splitting stuffs. Not saying I'm gonna marry her or start a LTR... but it proved me that I wasn't so wrong about my ex.

If someone doesn't give a fck to even ask if you want help, and allow for many days a guy spend money with her without doing anything, don't even need to talk about. Waste of time.
 

Blacksheep

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Thats really strange. When she swore she didnt do anything with that guy. Without you asking. Is a motherfu*king huge red flag.
Yep.

If you think that she never cared about the amount of money I spent with her in our weekends... It's not weird those things.

Also, she said that she was broke... but when she had her friend wedding, she magically found money to buy a expensive dress. And this time I paid for everything in the weekends we were together.

My mistake is that I fall into her drama queen strategy. She was really good at making me feel miserable when I tried to say something was wrong. I got some time to figure out it... But fortunately I'm out of this sh1t.

Big lesson learned!
 
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niceguytoalphamale

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Yep.

If you think that she never cared about the amount of money I spent with her in our weekends... It's not weird those things.

Also, she said that she was broke... but when she had her friend wedding, she magically found money to buy a expensive dress. And this time I paid for everything in the weekends we were together.

My mistake is that I fall into her drama queen strategy. She was really good at making me feel miserable when I tried to say something was wrong. I got some time to figure out it... But fortunately I'm out of this sh1t.

Big lesson learned!
Mate.. when a girl is so selfish like that abort mission. If a girl throws up a massive red flag like that.. abort mission.
 
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