So I have gone 1 full year MGTOW since my last relationship. I have been relatively happy. I started semen retention for over 30 days and got super horny ( last day of quarantine, I did an extra unneeded week) and decided to re install my dating apps. Met this chick who I decided to drive over an hour to see. She was begging me. So I uncharacteristically I drove to her place. I get there and she is bigger than the photos. No surprise there.
Everything was cool until i started smoking what she was smoking ( i had brought my own weed too). I think it was weed but I was not ready for how potent her strain was Bruhhhhhhhhhh.......that 1 hit had me in la la la land. I became a bumbling idiot. I got super quiet. We started making out. Then she pulled back and asked if I just came over to smash. I said no. If I was not high I would have been able to socially navigate the situation. But I could not. Why did I even try to make out with her? Sober me is way more smooth and chill than that. I felt like I was being controlled by the drugs.
A wave of shame rushed over my body. I felt horrible. What was I doing in this stranger's house? Trying to get my rocks off like an animal? I have done one night stands before but this one felt different. I was in a new environment that may or may not be safe. With a person that may or may not be a psycho. Or I could be the psycho. The insanity of online dating just hit me all at once and I wanted to leave asap.
She felt bad that I was so quiet. I kept reassuring her that I get real pensive when I am high and its not her. It was akward. I drove back home. It was a tough drive but I made it home. I proceeded to delete all my apps. I should have beat one off before I left. I feel like this was a universal lesson that I needed. Never again.
Everything was cool until i started smoking what she was smoking ( i had brought my own weed too). I think it was weed but I was not ready for how potent her strain was Bruhhhhhhhhhh.......that 1 hit had me in la la la land. I became a bumbling idiot. I got super quiet. We started making out. Then she pulled back and asked if I just came over to smash. I said no. If I was not high I would have been able to socially navigate the situation. But I could not. Why did I even try to make out with her? Sober me is way more smooth and chill than that. I felt like I was being controlled by the drugs.
A wave of shame rushed over my body. I felt horrible. What was I doing in this stranger's house? Trying to get my rocks off like an animal? I have done one night stands before but this one felt different. I was in a new environment that may or may not be safe. With a person that may or may not be a psycho. Or I could be the psycho. The insanity of online dating just hit me all at once and I wanted to leave asap.
She felt bad that I was so quiet. I kept reassuring her that I get real pensive when I am high and its not her. It was akward. I drove back home. It was a tough drive but I made it home. I proceeded to delete all my apps. I should have beat one off before I left. I feel like this was a universal lesson that I needed. Never again.
Last edited:
