"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Weird behavior

SayWhat

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
449
Reaction score
25
Hi

I tend to behave strangely when I know a girl is interested or is my girlfriend.

From time to time I ignore her to try to get her to react to it: "why do you act like this", "don't you like me anymore".
To be honest, I would love it if she would start crying because I behave this way (I know, it's sick).

I don't know why I do this, I lost a girlfriend due to this and potential girlfriends as well. I lost my father when I was still a child, but I've thought a lot about it and can't see any connection between these two.

Can anyone help me? People who have this too?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

SayWhat

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
449
Reaction score
25
My father did not really leave me, he died. It's a form of leaving, but I guess it's not the same as that he just left us.

I don't really see the connection of him dying and me acting this way. Today I told my current girl I sometimes act this way (ignoring her to want a reaction) this could be related to this, she said it indeed could be due to this, but still, I can't see it.
 

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
3,621
Reaction score
2,624
SayWhat said:
My father did not really leave me, he died. It's a form of leaving, but I guess it's not the same as that he just left us.

I don't really see the connection of him dying and me acting this way. Today I told my current girl I sometimes act this way (ignoring her to want a reaction) this could be related to this, she said it indeed could be due to this, but still, I can't see it.
Wow. Why the f*ck would you tell her that? You just gave her a silver bullet. Never reveal your thoughts and pour out your heart to a woman. It's very dangerous.
 

Rainman4707

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2012
Messages
1,729
Reaction score
599
Yeah you should stop doing that.
 

SayWhat

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
449
Reaction score
25
I believe the opposite, I've had a couple of girls drop their panties because I was being open with them. And none of them ever held or used it against me.

Mark Manson - Models was a great book I read and where I learned this and really changed me for the better.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Rainman4707

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2012
Messages
1,729
Reaction score
599
SayWhat said:
I believe the opposite, I've had a couple of girls drop their panties because I was being open with them. And none of them ever held or used it against me.

Mark Manson - Models was a great book I read and where I learned this and really changed me for the better.
Ahh now I see what you mean. I thought you meant when you are with her in person you ignore her ha

Well ignoring them does get them thinking about you. Give her a little attention & then pull back. Girls hate it when you don't give them attention. You've gotta give them a little bit attention though SayWhat :)
 

SayWhat

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
449
Reaction score
25
How about telling a girl you act different the whole week because you have had terrible news? I don't know about this one because she could think 'why won't he tell me?'.

But it is the reason, this news effects me so hard I want to be on my own, but then again I want her around.
 

sylvester the cat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 30, 2012
Messages
1,695
Reaction score
98
You're simply doing what girls do. Sh1t testing. You seek a strong woman who can look after you. If a woman can 'handle' you by not reacting to your little tests you will be interested in her.
 

GS750

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 28, 2013
Messages
1,561
Reaction score
187
SayWhat said:
Hi

I tend to behave strangely when I know a girl is interested or is my girlfriend.

From time to time I ignore her to try to get her to react to it: "why do you act like this", "don't you like me anymore".
To be honest, I would love it if she would start crying because I behave this way (I know, it's sick).

I don't know why I do this, I lost a girlfriend due to this and potential girlfriends as well. I lost my father when I was still a child, but I've thought a lot about it and can't see any connection between these two.

Can anyone help me? People who have this too?
I've had this happen too. Due to some life stressors I had to retreat into the batcave for a week or two, get my stuff together. Problem is it can look like disinterest on your part and she may move on thinking you're no longer interested.
 

Meisterman

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 15, 2014
Messages
327
Reaction score
41
You sound like a girl. That's how girls act. Basically listen to Sylvester he summed it up nicely.

But ultimately, at the root of it is insecurity. You do this because you are outcome dependent, and want to feel accepted and approved by the chick you're with in order to validate your own self-worth.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

GS750

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 28, 2013
Messages
1,561
Reaction score
187
Yeah purposely ignoring her or trying to upset her or make her cry is sh*t testing. If you legitimately have things going on that require your attention then so be it, but if you're doing it on purpose to get a reaction...that is a little girlish. Can't lie. At least you're aware of it so you can work to fix it.
 

SayWhat

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
449
Reaction score
25
Ha funny, I've thought several times I was acting like a girl.

Yeah I'm aware of it for some time, but it still happens and I don't know how to fix it. Acting normal in that case is not possible as I simply don't know how I should do that at that moment...

And yeah I do have some serious stuff going on at the moment, I barely text her and see her because of this. I can't tell her what's going on yet, I find it's too personal at this early stage at the relationship. We'll see.

Thanks guys.
 
Top