"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Weight-lifting problem

Fender

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2005
Messages
331
Reaction score
4
Hey guys, I've got a bit of a problem.

I've been doing squats for about 2 months now. I've been increasing the weight steadily over the past months, but recently, I couldn't increase it. It wasn't because my legs weren't up to it, it's because my back hurts like a b*tch! The Bar is crushing my back. I can't push my legs to "death" like i used to. I already put a layered towel on the bar, but it still hurts. Advice? I was thinknig of switching to leg presses.

-fender-
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

King of You

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 23, 2005
Messages
103
Reaction score
0
quit being such a *****. Build up your back muscles and it wont hurt. get rid of that towel it will **** up your form.
 

Create Reality

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 29, 2002
Messages
1,415
Reaction score
7
Location
California
Do a few shrugs before you hit the bar. Get those muscles accustomed to moving and being moved.

The weight of the barbell is signifigantly concentrated into one line on your back. Using a pad or towel will help to distribute the weight over a wider surface and the focused energy of the barbell will not pwn your back. Its the same thing as stilletto heels; those things can crack a hardwood floor. You must distribute the weight over as much area as possible.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Warboss Alex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 7, 2005
Messages
4,113
Reaction score
29
You've been cheating on your squats so far then, by using your back to support the barbell instead of your whole body - your back wasn't straight. It's not an insult, so many people cheat on squats (out of the pitiful few who actually do them, which makes it even sadder), sometimes subconsciously to make it hurt them less or whatever.

If you'd been doing them properly your lower back would be perfectly capable of comfortably taking the weight, as it would have progressed as your squat weights did.

If your legs couldn't take it then I'd say take Mind's advice and do front squats or hack squats for a bit (until you get stuck on THEM, then change back to free squats) - but if it's your back then halve your squat weight, and concentrate on the form. I'll bet that once your form's better, your back won't hurt and your weight will go up even quicker.

EDIT: just reread the posts again, if you mean that the bar digs into your back and it hurts and THAT'S what you're complaining about then you're obviously not ready for squats, just stick to leg pressing or lunges with pink dumbbells.
 

Fender

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2005
Messages
331
Reaction score
4
Thanks Create Reality, I think a few shrugs or pullups will warm up my upper back for the crushing that'll come ahead.

Warboss, I was talking about the pain where the bar rests on the upper back. My lower back is fine thank you:D

King of You, I don't see how a towel will mess up my form. Care to explain?

I guess the best I can do for now is to keep my squating weight the same, and do a few weeks of upper back exercise. Hopefully, after the few weeks, I my upper back can take more pain from the bar.

-fender-
 

Jay-X

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2004
Messages
1,327
Reaction score
1
Location
Italy
i usually squat with no more than 100lbs + bar, because i got very light bones and my back was starting to hurt too much... i remember once doing 165lbs and then not being able to bend my back for the rest of the day (and my legs were alright)

plus, i noticed that when i do 3 sets of 12 reps with 110lbs, my legs are far more sore than when i do 3 sets of 12 reps with 150 lbs... surely it's all about form
 

Warboss Alex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 7, 2005
Messages
4,113
Reaction score
29
Originally posted by Fender
Warboss, I was talking about the pain where the bar rests on the upper back. My lower back is fine thank you:D
-fender-
Then there's always the leg press. :rolleyes:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Live-n-learn

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 29, 2004
Messages
66
Reaction score
0
Do you do Deadlifts?

Maybe that can help you strengthen your lower back a bit.
 
Top