"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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weight and sex

fzrk

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Hello!
I'm a man whom many women are interested in.

However, I must admit that for a (too) long time, I've been hesitating to go any further from simply kissing and such. My reason of restraining myself from sex is that I'm embarassed about my appearance. I mean, while hitting the girls I don't give a sh*t about what I look and women are all over me... But I'm just afraid that when the clothes drop off they are going to back away quickly because my body isn't really anything one would call ehm... athletic.

Many women have said that I look good and indeed many of them have invited me to their place for a nightly "drink". At that time I have always called the night off telling them some fake reason. I know I'm overweight (my BMI is about 29) and I'm working on it, but it isn't easy to get yourself in shape quickly. So fellow DJs, is there anyone who is or has been in similar situation? How are you managing it?

Thanks in advance for all your help, I'll really appreciate it!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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spaceman2001

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Well the girls who are inviting you over know you're a bit overweight, and obviously they don't care. So there's no problem.
 

uzio

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If yer healthy enough to have sex - yer healthy enough to get fit. As long as yer getting fit (and you claim you do) then worry thou nay. If she is getting undressed, then you won, get yer prize and don't fret over it (BTW I've been 290lb. now I am 210 - so it is possible. I'm 6'6 btw)
 

Le Parisien

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spaceman2001 said:
Well the girls who are inviting you over know you're a bit overweight, and obviously they don't care. So there's no problem.
Absolutely!!!:up:

blueangel83 said:
So long as you don't have man tits, you should be fine.
Take notes man, this comes from a girl. Hope you don't have man boobs.:D Otherwise you're fvcked...:whistle:
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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KarmaSutra

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I'm a portly fellow as well but I've been eating well and hitting the gym pretty much daily and it's made a tremendous difference, both in mental acumen and the way I present myself to the world.


If women dig you the way you are. No issues. The only issues are the ones you have with yourself.
 

Soprano

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i feel your pain man i gotta get in shape in a bad way too lol

ive already started watching my diet, i need to get back on my cardio game really bad though
 

Badmannaz

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I've lost 30lbs n im goin down...it's the biggest gift you can give to yourself....confidence

you just gotta hit the gym like it's a drug...i'm addicted...i want results so i go to the gym....:rockon:
 

OzyBoy

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I want to lose some weight would like to be in the low 70s because i don't want to be too heavy, especially if i'm top of my girlfriend in bed but also want to feel better about myself. I have to lose about 8-10 kgs. Since yesterday i have started watching what i eat and started going back to the gym.
 

El MonoLoco

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Wait a sec....

These women are inviting you over to "their" place?????
What are you waiting for? Just take all your clothes off as you walk in and make your way to the bedroom, or just do it in the living room like me:up:

But seriously, if these women are already showing you that kind of interest just go for. They obviously don't care about how you look as much as you do.


And I wouldn't place too much emphasis on your BMI it's not as accurate as your body fat %......my BMI is about 26.....and I'm not even close to being overweight....

Just keep doing what you're doing and things will work out:D
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Leuven

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I think as long as you don't think it is a problem there is no problem.
If a woman invites you over, she has already seen you. It won't be a surprise anymore.
Girls often don't like thin guys, without muscles and so ...
My BMI is only 20 ... needless to say that they won't fall for my "impressive" shoulders


Sincerely
 

NoNickname

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Leuven said:
Girls often don't like thin guys, without muscles and so ...
Sincerely
www.myjellybean.com (I think) is a dating site for women :)D). I read a "what do you look for in a guy" thread a few weeks ago; rougly every second post actually included "skinny".
 

Le Parisien

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NoNickname said:
www.myjellybean.com (I think) is a dating site for women :)D). I read a "what do you look for in a guy" thread a few weeks ago; rougly every second post actually included "skinny".
- Many fat guys will tell other fat guys that being fat is ok, "better be big than being skinny".

- Many scrawny thin guys will tell other scrawny thin guys that being skinny is ok, "better be slim than being obese".

- I say better be healthy and fit than being unhealthy and not admitting it and doing nothing to change it!
:cool:
 

diablo

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First, continue with what you're doing in respects to getting yourself in shape. As that takes time, you should become proud of your accomplishments up to this point and shouldn't be embarrassed when you get back to a girl's place... in all likelihood, the lights are going to be off and you can have your way in the dark. Other than that, there is no "quick fix", it's really going to come down to you being secure enough with who you are to take off your clothes in front of the girl... if she brought you back to her house, she's already virtually committed herself to sleeping with you, so why not take advantage of the situation and get your rocks off?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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ShizamDaMan

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Honestly, if girls are inviting you over to their place for late night drinks, I think you're just fine. Continue to work out, but don't sweat weight and make it affect your game.

I'm 6'1", 220 pounds. Never had a complaint from a woman about being too fat. Granted I lift a lot and am more muscular, but I'm far from skinny.

Also, BMI is almost worthless in terms of health. Lifting types tend to have an overexaggerated BMI compared to their actual % of body fat. Calculate my BMI, and it would be 29 (borderline obese). I am no where near obese. I can run miles, lift hundreds of pounds, and play most any sport.

Keep on doing what you're doing, it'll work out.
 

coolguy676767

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BMI index is not a good measure of athletic look. If you used that Terrell Owens would be almost obese.

Body Fat % is where its at. 15% is the average male that is not obese.

10% would be moderatly cut.

Abercrombie models would be abround 8%.
 

Ricard78

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Size aint anything, you think a species such as women dont see weight and badly dressed people from a mile away. Of course they do, if you have them around you they like you.

Dont be afraid of your body, its yours and no one elses. Appart from the very lucky ones
 

Desdinova

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Women are more concerned about how you make them feel than how you look. If you know how to push their attraction buttons, they'll be all over you regardless of how you look. A woman will be much more concerned about how she looks naked than how you look naked.

However, if you still would like to lose some weight, go with Hot Ice's suggestion and try Diesel's Guide to Cutting:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=18059

I lost 25 lbs within about two months. Proper Diet and 15 minutes every second day of cardio (I used an exercise bike) will have you dropping weight in no time.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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