"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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wearin' like a pimp?

Jay-X

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this saturday, a friend of mine (she's a girl) will have a dinner party for her 18th birthday and she has invited me and some other people at the restaurant. i'm thinkin' about dressin' less casual than usually... i mean, everybody will wear jeans and t-shirt, maybe someone will have a shirt... but i wanna look different.
what about fashionable baggy blue jeans, silver sneakers and a white jacket (reeeeeeeeally similar to the one usher wears in yeah's video), over a black tank top?
it's almost exactly the way usher wore, so it's not REALLY original, but i've ever wanted to dress like that... do you think it'd be good?

answer!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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gm8384

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IMO, yea its nice to look different than everyone else, but at the same time you got to have your own style. If I were you, I would go a step above everyone else. Don't make yourself stick out because you are even more under-dressed than everyone else.

I say dress up more than down. You will still get noticed and it will be for how well put together you look, not because you look out of place. I could have the coolest shirt/tie combo ever, but if everyone else is in suits or sportcoats, I will not look good. Stand out by being better, not worse.


Im also thinking this is an anything else.
 

Jay-X

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i think u r right, but, as i said, other guys won't be wearin' anything dressy... they all are gonna wear jeans and t-shirts, so a white blazer would be above everyone else... wouldn't it?
 

Recluce

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gm8384

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Jay - I don't listen to usher so I don't know what his jacket looks like, but I had assumed it was a track jacket, not a blazer style.

Even still, I think it should look nice. You are correct to that it would be a step above eveyone, not lower.

That is a nice shirt in the link Recluce posted. I am more of a jeans and t-shirt skateboarding kind of guy than a prep, so I try to avoid dressing like them. I find it hard to "dress up" and keep a style of my own without looking preppy. I went to the casino the other night, jeans blue dress shirt, and doc martins. Decent outfit.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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