"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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we were drunk for our first kiss...

wcknightjr

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k so this girls bday was last wednesday...and stuff had kinda built up for a while and she had been giving me subtle signs she liked me a little when ever I'd see her, as in we would go get food periodically (oh we both live across cvampus from each other btw). so, she invites me over to "study" ...on her bday...and sure enough her and her roommate were reading in their living room :rolleyes: . So i'm like whatever this can't last too long, so at about 11pm, her friends from hs show up from out of town and all the sudden itt turns into a bday party for her...so of course i stick around (can you tell i like her too :p ).

so then the whiskey shots start...when all was said and done, I had six with no chasers and she had 5. At this point the entire party of about ten people had moved to her room, and as time went on we started having more and more contact until she finally just leaned over while i was standing at her computer looking at what music to play and kissed me on the cheek...so after that we didn't break contact. People started heading home at like 1:30, and after they left, somehow the two of us ended up back in her room, alone.

for a while we just stood in the middle of her room (think slowdance postion) talking face to face. we were both a little messed up, tho not piss drunk, so we could still have a kinda strange convo about nothing...but then we ran out of stupid stuff to say so inevitably we started making out while leaning against her bed (its a good 4 feet up). She said some strange stuff, like "you're gonna be all about it tomorrow..." (we both had class at 9 so she wasn't down). when asked what "it" was, she said "hard banging" wtf?!

well basically, we had to cut it short before we really did anything stupid with class hours away, but now i think the problem is that from talking to her it seems like shes a little embarassed about the fact we were drunk, even tho it was clearly her intention on some level cuz she kept encouraging me to drink.

Monday we finally met up again just for a late dinner, but nothing physical happened at all, and we hardly touched on the matter at hand at all

so the question...finally: How do I clear the air and get things back on track so that she's not worried about what happened?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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assasin

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How do I clear the air and get things back on track so that she's not worried about what happened?
What? Do you mean "how do I get back into the friends zone?".

Shouldn't be hard, just keep doing what you've been doing.

I thought you said you liked her though? Or did you not mean in that way?
 

squirrels

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Not by having awkward, quiet dinners.

The so-called "anti-slut defense" came down when she was intoxicated. Now that she's sober, she doesn't want you to look at her as a slut for getting all freaky.

So if you're all :nervous: the next time you see her, she's gonna feel like, "OMG I slutted up, this is awkward."

You should just be like :up: :rock: :) and still show you don't think of her as a slut...give her a little reassurance.

And keep on closin'. ;)
 

Gangster Of Love

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Originally posted by squirrels
Not by having awkward, quiet dinners.

The so-called "anti-slut defense" came down when she was intoxicated. Now that she's sober, she doesn't want you to look at her as a slut for getting all freaky.

So if you're all :nervous: the next time you see her, she's gonna feel like, "OMG I slutted up, this is awkward."


Exactly! Women do that. The like to use the "One thing led to another" defense to rationalize letting their defense down. This is also what happens when you try to make out with them in a club the same nite you meet them. Now she will most likely avoid you and if she is forced to explain, she'll put you in the friends zone.
 

wcknightjr

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I'm thinkin right now the best plan is to just make a move next time we're alone to show her that everything's cool.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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