We should really have a talk about this scam that "Men peak in their 40s", it's not helping the young fellas at all

[The Duke]

A man's peak is relative to who he is and where he is at in life. There is no single age or requirements that define it, as clearly evident by the comments.

 

[The Duke]

The point is that as you get older and mature and gain life perspective, what should be important changes.

And chasing 21 year old women around ain't it.

According to you for sure, but according to others that might not be the case. Not everyone views the world the same, and thats ok.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

According to you for sure, but according to others that might not be the case. Not everyone views the world the same, and thats ok.

Yeah that's just it. I really don't buy the idea that your age is relevant to anything except the sort of culture you were exposed to.

I certainly do not believe that people automatically get wiser and more mature as they age, nor do I believe that younger people are naive or less mature. I've met old men I relate to more than ones my own age, and I've also met old men who acted like children. The same applies for women.

Our values, sense of humor, lifestyle, goals, etc aren't exactly age-dependant. Theses sorts of things are kind of set in stone pretty early on and might not change too much.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Consider that if a man has these two qualities alone: 1) $100k a year income 2) having a 6 pack - he is already exceeding the top 1% of men for all ages.

I am the 1% then.

100k is not high income though. Is it that bad out there?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I am the 1% then.

100k is not high income though. Is it that bad out there?

I know it's not all that much nowadays (though it's still well above average and certainly enough to live well) but making 100k AND having a 6pack is unusual. Consider it this way: most of these traits aren't very special on their own, but when you start stacking them together they turn into force multipliers. 6 ft, 6pack, 6 figures for instance is like the holy trinity.

Also consider the intangible qualities men need too (ie game, abundance, frame) and you will set yourself even further apart from whatever few men are in your demo.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I know it's not all that much nowadays (though it's still well above average and certainly enough to live well) but making 100k AND having a 6pack is unusual. Consider it this way: most of these traits aren't very special on their own, but when you start stacking them together they turn into force multipliers. 6 ft, 6pack, 6 figures for instance is like the holy trinity.

Also consider the intangible qualities men need too (ie game, abundance, frame) and you will set yourself even further apart from whatever few men are in your demo.

I am well over 100K and have a 6-pack when I need to (summer) plus am in elite shape for my age overall(ie, 60lb weighted vest hill sprints for 30 mins straight, weighted vest, weighted sled pulls, 100+ reps of overhead slams with 30lb weighted slam ball in 5 mins, etc).

The amount of punishing this allows me to produce in the bedroom is unmatched.

 

[Barrister]

I’d say a man’s peak for getting 18-22 year olds is definitely probably around 27-29. Simply because unless you have so much wealth/status that it doesn’t matter most very young women in that age range aren’t going to be interested in a man much older than that with some exceptions.

However, I’d say for all women over 23, you absolutely can slay it in your 30s and into your 40s. I just turned 40. Outside of a single LTR I had a few years ago, every woman I ever been with has been in her 20s. No - no 18 year olds, but I’ve done exceptionally well. Right now at 40, I find myself being more about having my own time to do what I want and I only go on “dates” here and there. I have a single plate who is 28 years old and she makes things super easy for me. That’s what matters to me now.

 

[Bigpapa]

you can achieve the same result (get girls u otherwise shouldn’t) on a micro level like having status in a chain food restaurant

Very true, I have a friend that worked for the best bars / restaurants / clubs in the city, and despite not really being a successful guy he would always be very successful when it came to dating women

mainly because he had status at the coolest places in the city, basically had status where it mattered

I was also on the other side of the table, where girl that is a bartender at a cool place in the city initially would always serve me first despite the que and I would always tip her nicely. In my mind it was a exchange of value, but apparently she liked me and since I did not move forward after a couple of times she would just ignore me and be always the last to serve, even serving before me people behind me

 

[Clockwerk50]

Very true, I have a friend that worked for the best bars / restaurants / clubs in the city, and despite not really being a successful guy he would always be very successful when it came to dating women

mainly because he had status at the coolest places in the city, basically had status where it mattered

I was also on the other side of the table, where girl that is a bartender at a cool place in the city initially would always serve me first despite the que and I would always tip her nicely. In my mind it was a exchange of value, but apparently she liked me and since I did not move forward after a couple of times she would just ignore me and be always the last to serve, even serving before me people behind me

Status/fame is arguable the highest multiplier of attraction.

 

[Bigpapa]

Status/fame is arguable the highest multiplier of attraction.

depends on your smv too

like for example you can very high on status / fame but if you are not at least decent good looking or a weirdo, you will mainly get gold diggers or women in the same smv bucket as you . Look at musk or bezos or even athletes like n’golo Kante, hakimi, tiger woods, mbappe, etc

someone can argue that gold diggers is still better than nothing, but gold digging is not based on attraction

fame / status can catalyze attraction through the rough, but it can not create attraction from thin air

that’s why male obsession with status and fame is very flawed

and I think we all can agree that the level of commitment, sex, etc is way more qualitative when a girl actually is attracted to you vs when she is just gold digging

 

[Clockwerk50]

depends on your smv too

like for example you can very high on status / fame but if you are not at least decent good looking or a weirdo, you will mainly get gold diggers or women in the same smv bucket as you . Look at musk or bezos or even athletes like n’golo Kante, hakimi, tiger woods, mbappe, etc

someone can argue that gold diggers is still better than nothing, but gold digging is not based on attraction

fame / status can catalyze attraction through the rough, but it can not create attraction from thin air

that’s why male obsession with status and fame is very flawed

and I think we all can agree that the level of commitment, sex, etc is way more qualitative when a girl actually is attracted to you vs when she is just gold digging

The thing is, it's hard to define because it's a social construct. All social constructs are in constant flux and can rarely be accurately pinned down. A man can have high status in one group and low status in another since it depends on the context. Status can also refer to a high level of competence in qualities like intelligence, communication, ambition, leadership, or other traits that people value.

Generally speaking, women are more likely to date "up," whereas men are more willing to date down. One simple way to think about status is to ask, "How well does her community react to him?" If all her friends, colleagues, and family say, "Wow, what a catch," then she's done well.

In general, women don't tend to settle for men they perceive as having lower social status than themselves.

 

[Bigpapa]

The thing is, it's hard to define because it's a social construct. All social constructs are in constant flux and can rarely be accurately pinned down. A man can have high status in one group and low status in another since it depends on the context. Status can also refer to a high level of competence in qualities like intelligence, communication, ambition, leadership, or other traits that people value.

Generally speaking, women are more likely to date "up," whereas men are more willing to date down. One simple way to think about status is to ask, "How well does her community react to him?" If all her friends, colleagues, and family say, "Wow, what a catch," then she's done well.

In general, women don't tend to settle for men they perceive as having lower social status than themselves.

I don’t think it is wise to generalize

If as a guy you have a good communication skills & are at least decent good looking, status does not matter outside of your extended social circle. Same thing goes for women

and seduction usually happens outside your extended social circle

talking now about normal people, not some pop artists, extremely successful athletes or similar

let’s say you are a multi millionaire guy, the girl very likely has no idea that you are a multi millionaire guy unless you start flaunting your wealth in a very low value way

and even if you start flaunting your wealth she still has no idea if you are actually rich or not or how big is your wealth

same thing if you are a hot shot agent for celebrities or a footballer, etc

believe or not but the best looking girlfriends I have seen were with the guys doing extreme sports, and those guys usually have no status, no money, etc

 

[Clockwerk50]

I don’t think it is wise to generalize

If as a guy you have a good communication skills & are at least decent good looking, status does not matter outside of your extended social circle. Same thing goes for women

and seduction usually happens outside your extended social circle

talking now about normal people, not some pop artists, extremely successful athletes or similar

let’s say you are a multi millionaire guy, the girl very likely has no idea that you are a multi millionaire guy unless you start flaunting your wealth in a very low value way

and even if you start flaunting your wealth she still has no idea if you are actually rich or not or how big is your wealth

same thing if you are a hot shot agent for celebrities or a footballer, etc

believe or not but the best looking girlfriends I have seen were with the guys doing extreme sports, and those guys usually have no status, no money, etc

I think we’re mostly just defining status differently. You’re talking more about visible status like fame, money, and being known, while I’m also including things like competence, confidence, respect, and being valued in your own circle.

The extreme sports example actually proves my point. Those guys might not be famous or wealthy, but they still have status in that world because they have skills, respect, and a lifestyle people admire.

I think we just have different definitions of status, so we can agree to disagree here.

 

[quodlibet]

I'm in my mid 40s and currently engaged.

Looking back, the age when I attracted the most women was in my late 20s and early 30s. This is when men peak. This is when you're old enough to have decent expendable income without the physical appearance of an old fart.

Surely, men can get women at any age. But in your 40s, do you even want those you can get? In the US, once you're in your 40s, you're looking at single mothers, divorcees and those who've put on serious weight. Just accept it, bro: she's ain't gonna be some sexy young cutie.

Guys past age 30 really need to start growing up. You can't do this pickup and seduction stuff forever. Take this from an older guy on this forum. There's eventually a time you should think about settling down with someone long-term.

 

[Bigpapa]

I'm in my mid 40s and currently engaged.

Looking back, the age when I attracted the most women was in my late 20s and early 30s. This is when men peak. This is when you're old enough to have decent expendable income without the physical appearance of an old fart.

Surely, men can get women at any age. But when you're in your 40s, do you even want those you can get? In the US, once you're in your 40s, you're looking at single mothers, divorcees and those who've put on serious weight. Just accept it: she's just not gonna be some sexy young cutie.

Guys past age 30 really need to start growing up. You can't do this pickup and seduction **** forever. Take this from an older guy on this forum. There's eventually a time you should think about settling down with someone long-term.

if you take good care of yourself and maybe put here and there some money in you, you should be able to date late 20s / early 30s women

not because you are amazing but mainly because your competition ( guys in their 20s ,30s and 40s are quite lame )

So women in that period of their life, have to choose either to date some lame guy closer to their age either date an older sexy guy with whom potentially she can have a family with

Guess which one they will choose

but yeah, I do agree that you can not play the f8ckboy card from a certain age forward

 

[Velasco]

I do agree that you can not play the f8ckboy card from a certain age forward

my point about what @zekko was saying before about his 52 year old friend banging 18 year olds that he works with, is status can either increase your level of attractiveness or stretch your prime (the level at which you can get the best girls) (assuming you’ve taken care of your looks and are not socially weird). I’ve heard plenty of stories from servers and bartenders about managers trying to use their status to get with them. it’s always the case that those guys either have no charisma or are not good looking. most times it’s both.

status is why 74 year old Bill Belichick has a 24 year old girlfriend

why 61 year old Anthony Kiedis has a 19 year old girlfriend.

 

[zekko]

my point about what @zekko was saying before about his 52 year old friend banging 18 year olds that he works with, is status can either increase your level of attractiveness or stretch your prime (the level at which you can get the best girls) (assuming you’ve taken care of your looks and are not socially weird).

This particular gentleman has always had what they call "delusional confidence", even when he was a kid (I knew from when we were very young). He was married for a good while, but when they got divorced, I think he went a little wild trying to catch up. I suppose his position as manager gave him a certain amount of status, among his target group. Status is relative, after all.