"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

we hook up. Girl later says she just wants to be friends

TheShadow

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
13
Reaction score
0
because she's not ready for anything serious. You suggest keeping it light and fun, and she says LBF.

game over & move on?

background: me her in class and we decide to hang out one day. End up naked in my bed later that night. She gets change of heart when the alochol wears off.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

PRMoon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2003
Messages
3,739
Reaction score
41
Age
45
Location
-777-Vegas-777-
This just in

Next

You got what you came for ... there'll be repeat performances even if you bounce out.
 

tmpgstx

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2005
Messages
1,331
Reaction score
7
Location
Somewherez in USofA
Ever heard of the sweaty T-shirt study? It just may be that she got a whiff of your natural BO and it she knew then she wasn't going to have sex with you again.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Donald Kaufman

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 14, 2004
Messages
187
Reaction score
0
Location
Canada
Might be that she feels she gave in too easily and doesn't want to be a slvt. Action speaks louder then words. Let her keep talking about being friends, keep doing what you are doing and see what actually happens.

One of my female friends has lived with a guy for years, has had two children with him and still says they are just friends. She still gets angry if someone even suggests there might be more to the relationship.

Let her call it whatever she wants but you decide for yourself what it is by her actions.
 

becker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 13, 2003
Messages
1,697
Reaction score
4
Same thing happened with me. Provided you are on good terms with her, if you keep it cool and don't press for anything, then you'll probably end up doing it again. The problem I've faced is that sometimes the girl feels so regretful that the only alternative she feels is to cut off all contact with you completely, especially if you continuously end up together in bed.
 

tyciol

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 8, 2005
Messages
136
Reaction score
0
Age
40
Having kids and living together doesn't mean you can't be only friends.
 

TheShadow

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
13
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by becker
Same thing happened with me. Provided you are on good terms with her, if you keep it cool and don't press for anything, then you'll probably end up doing it again. The problem I've faced is that sometimes the girl feels so regretful that the only alternative she feels is to cut off all contact with you completely, especially if you continuously end up together in bed.
It seems like I'm in your boat then... perhaps even worse. I IMed her online a few times since then and she's either slow to respond or doesn't at all.

What's the best move now? I'm guessing I should ignore her and let her come to me; If she doesn't, that's the end of that.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

TheShadow

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
13
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by Disconnect
Who said relationship? Be fvck buddies!
I have a feeling she intended to mean "I'm done with you now" than "lets be **** buddies" :(
 

belividere

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
956
Reaction score
5
Age
47
Congrats, you have been used for sex. Believe it or not girls can do this too.
 

becker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 13, 2003
Messages
1,697
Reaction score
4
Originally posted by TheShadow
It seems like I'm in your boat then... perhaps even worse. I IMed her online a few times since then and she's either slow to respond or doesn't at all.

What's the best move now? I'm guessing I should ignore her and let her come to me; If she doesn't, that's the end of that.
I remember when we decided not to date anymore, I verbally told her that I was going to leave the "friends with benefits" route open, and she didn't immediately say no, rather she said she'll consider it, but she also thought it was wrong. That's the problem I faced.

She was totally held back by her morals, even though they were essentially shot the minute we hooked up after she explicitly told me it wasn't going to happen. Apparently this happened before with her and another guy, and she cut off all contact. Girls like this tend to be a little immature. They want to come off as good girls and to do this they have to resist temptation to do stuff like this. It's like a totaly inner turmoil going on.

Anyways, I haven't done the IM thing for a while, but I can only imagine how much easier you're making it for her to ignore you that way. You'll be more effective if you see each other. At the same time, you might as well keep her as a friend if you are on good terms with her and just go after other women.

The way I see it is that if you two have already done it, and you're on good terms, that's a recipe for a possible repeat performance in the future, since the cat has already been let out of the bag, so to speak.
 
Top