We had a big fight...

[beginnerDJ]

Guys....please help me out here. I know you can!

Some background info.... me and this girl were really close for about 2 months. She is a foreigner so had to go back home for half a month. I dont know what happened, but upon her return she began to change. Right now her life is undergoing a lot of changes as well and its taxing on her personally.

She decided to live with a roommate, which she didnt use to do (so it was convenient for me to come over), and started to bring her roommate along for all our dates (which didnt used to happen either). I was unhappy and brought it up, and basically she didnt want to hear about it. I was still normal when we met up but I guess the emotion showed on my face.

All that came to a boil last weekend when I handled a matter wrongly (I admit that). She basically blew up. Called me names, said I wasnt worth her getting angry over, and told me to get lost. I tried to explain what I could and left.

Still felt pretty bad the next day.....but she contacts me and asks to have dinner with her and roommate (yes again). I'm really not a petty person so I'm ok with it. In spite of the words that were said, the dinner goes along smoothly, but I dont talk much as I'm still feeling sore.

Usually she calls me pretty often....yesterday I called and there was no response...and no return call. Tried a few fimes, finally got through at 1am, checked that she was safely home and hung up.

No calls from her today either. I'm still not feeling good so I didnt initiate anything, so no contact for today (which is really really rare), we used to contact everyday.

Shes the kind of person who reacts very strongly to emotions....and this prevents me from bringing up the topics that I'm unhappy with. I know it all looks bad..... how should I approach this with style and maturity? I do want to give it another shot but I dont know whether she's up to it judging from her actions these 2 days.

What do you think guys?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

She basically blew up. Called me names, said I wasnt worth her getting angry over, and told me to get lost. I tried to explain what I could and left.

When there is an attitude change like this and harsh words are spoken, she no longer has respect for you and her loyalty is no longer dedicated to you. I personally would have not called her nor gone out with her to dinner. You must tell her that her disrespect was uncalled for and not apreciated, regardless of how you 'mishandle' something.

You must hold your ground, once disrespected it is hard to gain that respect again!

Never 'go out' in a group of three - refuse to join them. She is controlling the relationship - why? Are you desperate or lack confidence?

 

[beginnerDJ]

I understand that.... i have probably been too well "conditioned" this couple months, and yes I know I've been disrespected.

But I'm just not the kind of person that goes tit-for-tat, because at the end of the day where does that lead? An endless cycle of mind games?

Thats why I've not initiated any contact for a couple days...I'm trying to say "you disrespected me and because of it I can do without you for a while" in my silence.

What else should I be doing? Or is all this beyong redemption?

 

[-k2]

you dont have time in your life for people who disrespect you, especially ones you can live without. next

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Leave her ass alone!!!! That's my advice - but you still want her. Never want a girl more than she wants you!!! You lose your power as a man!!!! You lost your power!! You have to move on and don't supplicate and beg her for answers or attention. Keep your dignity!!!

 

[Crank_It_Up]

if the roomate is a girl you're in luck.... she's bi and wants a threesome