Ways to Increase Physical Intimacy on First Contact

[The Duke]

At what point do you go for a hug with a girl you didn't meet from OLD? Like if you were just talking to some girl in a checkout line or something and hit it off.

If I meet a girl in a situation like you have described I typically won't hug her if we've only talked for a few minutes. You run the risk of making it into an awkward situation. You don't know how interested she is and if there might be coworkers around. If its a girl I met in a bar and we talked for an hour or so and there is obvious interest on her part then I will hug her before I leave. The intent behind the hug is important.

Followup question about the hug... is it like a "church hug" or is it bodies pressed together, one hand over her shoulders and the other around her waist kind of hug?

Its definitely not a church hug. Church hugs are for those you don't want to know intimately.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If I meet a girl in a situation like you have described I typically won't hug her if we've only talked for a few minutes. You run the risk of making it into an awkward situation. You don't know how interested she is and if there might be coworkers around. If its a girl I met in a bar and we talked for an hour or so and there is obvious interest on her part then I will hug her before I leave. The intent behind the hug is important.

This.
I sometimes get hugged straight at the start, but that's mostly on their initiative. By the time we're saying goodbye I'll know whether a hug will benefit us both.

 

[p_1337]

I always start off dates with a warm hug, as it breaks the touch barrier right from the jump. It can also be a solid indicator of her initial attraction level (i.e. if the embrace is warm and lingering v.s. if she happens to pull away fast).
If the opening hug is implemented: this needs to be done in a way that is confident and not awkward. You need to come off as a socially adjusted guy who is comfortable and relaxed around women.

As the conversation progresses (and drinks flow): I then move forward to light touches on the arm/shoulder, even some on the leg (when making a point, to accentuate a remark, if she says something silly, to tease her, etc.).

If she is receptive to these innocuous advances, you then move up to letting the duration of touch linger (i.e. holding her hand for a bit, or resting it on her thigh without pulling away). If you've been talking for roughly 30 mins to an hour at this point: but she resists, seems to squirm or outright moves away-- she's likely not into you (time to eject).

Putting my hand on her lower back works well too (depending on the scenario), and leading her by the hand when moving from one location to another.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Another thing is when cold approaching and you started talking, don't fret that you haven't been able to introduce yourself yet, you can just stick out your hand and say, "My name is (your name)." Unless she's a social moron, she won't leave you hanging.

 

[Murk]

I’ve never shook a womens hand in my life, wtf is this ****. You hug and kiss on the cheek, a proper kiss not a fake one. Then as time progresses you touch her with nudges anywhere on her body, hand in the small of her back, guide her around with your palms/hands, later the hand on thigh while you are telling her something. From hand on thigh without negative reaction anything goes, just depends how daring you are.

Ultimately it comes down to confidence, with that anything is possible. I’m usually grabbing tits and ass and kissing first date. I don’t actually know how it gets to that point but it just does.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

@Murk , You're a slayer, not a beginner. This advice thread is for beginners who'd break a cold sweat doing what you do with such aplomb.

 

[Murk]

@Murk , You're a slayer, not a beginner. This advice thread is for beginners who'd break a cold sweat doing what you do with such aplomb.

Then I think it’s all a mentality thing, the only way to learn is to do, I was scared once too. I learned that pushing boundaries and being confident got me results. I remember how surprised I was at what women would allow me to do. I think experience/confidence is the only way to do it (even for newbies).

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Then I think it’s all a mentality thing, the only way to learn is to do, I was scared once too.

I didn't have any problem with any of that when I started out, but modern dating is more hazardous, especially in the States. And for these beginners it's easier to deal with a handshake being ignored than getting rebuffed for an awkward hug.
Mentality is one thing, but going for hugging and kissing when you hardly know how to hold a conversation might be pushing the boundaries a little too much.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

While we men agonize over how to kino girls. Girls have no problem kino’ing men.
They live in such a different world.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Girls have no problem kino’ing men.
They live in such a different world.

Have you ever stared down a woman for touching you without permission? It's great fun.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

For hugs off the bat or goodbye, make sure you have a boner and make sure she feels it’s pressure against her body. It’s plausibly deniable if you’re subtle and could seal the deal right there.

This is an advanced move, you have to have established yourself as a man that demands respect to pull it off. You have to be subtle in all other ways and classy, but let your junk talk.

I can just see a guy reading that and fumbling the move, “gee did you feel my Vienna sausage?”.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Have you ever stared down a woman for touching you without permission? It's great fun.

no.
I can more likely imagine landing a spaceship on Mars than doing that.
I don’t mind.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

This is an advanced move, you have to have established yourself as a man that demands respect to pull it off. You have to be subtle in all other ways and classy, but lets your junk talk.

You're downright evil.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

no.
I can more likely imagine landing a spaceship on Mars than doing that.
I don’t mind.

It's not about 'not minding'. It's actually fun making this role reversal, especially because women tend to think it's always okay to touch a man. But I like to tease and mindfock them, so maybe you just don't see the humour in acting 'offended' when they do that without permission.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

no.
I can more likely imagine landing a spaceship on Mars than doing that.
I don’t mind.

I sometimes feign indignation as part of a joke and laughter is always a good thing with women. Never mind that it sexualizes the discussion and puts her in the box of her showing her attraction for you, which is always a good place to keep a woman.

I often say “slow down cowgirl!”, wait for a reaction and say “you’re objectifying me!”, followed by “but strangely I’m finding myself liking that!”, “you’re a naughty girl…I’m not sure about this!”

It completely hard reboots their brains, and when they reboot they realize that they “went there”, and chances are the conversation completely changes at that point.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

You're downright evil.

You’re welcome.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

It's not about 'not minding'. It's actually fun making this role reversal, especially because women tend to think it's always okay to touch a man. But I like to tease and mindfock them, so maybe you just don't see the humour in that.

I can see feigning indignation or shock that she is touching you as a way to flirt.
Sadly. I am rarely that quick witted.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I can see feigning indignation or shock that she is touching you as a way to flirt.

"Are you flirting with me or just want to feel the exquisite material of my outer garments?"

 

[Hamurabimbi]

"Are you flirting with me or just want to feel the exquisite material of my outer garments?"

Advanced flirting.

 

[Murk]

I once matched a Filipino girl off bumble and met her in a pub opposite my work around 2018. I fingered her at the back of the pub sitting down and took her back to my office and smashed in the disabled toilets in the floor. My penis failed me midway and I was thumbing it in to no avail, amongst the piss and **** on the floor.

Looking back it was such a scummy thing to do, I don’t even think I have the confidence and boldness to pull that kind of thing off any more. She is now married to a Muslim guy and has a kid. I’d want to kill myself if that was my wife. That’s why you don’t want a girl from OLD.