Ways to Increase Physical Intimacy on First Contact

[AmsterdamAssassin]

When I first started my research in the manosphere and checked out the seduction material I could find, I found a strange struggle among the seducers to get 'kino'. I thought it was something 'special' until I realised they were talking about touching a woman. Since I never had a problem with touching women, I wondered why they put so much 'strategy' into such a simple thing, but I understood from their explanations that for a lot of men touching women is fraught with peril.

So I decided to start a thread where experienced seducers can share their ways to become physically intimate with women from the moment of first in person contact. I will answer these questions, but I hope other experienced lovers want to share answers to these questions"

When do you touch her for the first time?
Where?
How?
And is there something to make your touch irresistible?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

When do you touch her for the first time?

Actually, you should shake her hand at first meeting her.
In order to make a good impression, make sure your palms are dry and warm and clean so you don't stick to her hand like a tree frog. Most women check out your hands right after checking out your face, so make sure you trim your nails and keep them clean. If your hands repulse her, there's no chance you'll get intimate with her.

Where?

You can touch her hands first, like in a handshake or taking her hand to check out her rings.
On initial contact, don't move higher up the arm than the elbow. Only after she enjoys your touch should you move higher to the outer shoulder. If she enjoys your touch, she will want to feel your hands all over her body, don't worry about that.

How?

With handshakes, initiate the handshake by holding out your hand and introducing yourself like a man. What I mean by that is that your handshake should give her a sense of safety. When you shake the hand of another man, you want your handshake to be firm and solid like a representative of your purpose and drive, but with women you want her to know she's in 'good hands'. Same with all other moments of physical contact, your touch needs to feel like a cuddle, even if it's only cuddling her fingers.

And is there something to make your touch irresistible?

I have a gift for touch, but I still needed training. In my case, I learned Namikoshi shiatsu (Japanese acupressure massage), where of massaging by rubbing, you push on pressure points on the body to re-energise the part you're touching.
Women adore massages and love to feel your hands all over their bodies if you know what you're doing. Your value increases enormously in a woman's eyes if you can give hand/foot massages.

I regularly use shiatsu hand massages to initiate intimacy with women, often (when they enjoy the shiatsu) escalating the intimacy by whispering to the woman that I always give shiatsu massages after shibari sessions....

 

[parabellum]

when I was on my prime I used to practice these:

The old “oh you have something in your face/neck” then proceed to brush it off gently.

Any dance that involves hand contact, switch to hold hands a little tighter than usual on and off.

high five in a moment that she does something cool, then hold the hand for one extra second. You can try the high five good bye too.

Sit down next to her (imagine a couch) close enough there’s some sort body contact

challenge them for an arm wrestling match and take your time on it…

if they say oh I can’t see from here, grab their shoulders and gently guide their movement to a better spot and ask, oh is here better?

Go do a difficult hike where she will likely ask to hold her to help her come down /up

Nowadays I have enough experience or lack of patience that I leave these things in autopilot and just go for the kiss when I judge it a good time.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

AA if you meet a girl off of OLD, you don't want a lame handshake as the first contact, you want a hug.

 

[zekko]

Actually, you should shake her hand at first meeting her.

I've read a lot of pickup material. Most of it goes along the lines of "Sorry, I don't shake hands, I like to hug", and go for the hug instead. I'm not generally a hugger, but I go back and forth. I don't know if that would still be considered good advice in today's culture or not. I'm not in the Game so I can't really say. I would agree with Billy above that if it's a date of some kind, the hug would likely be better.

 

[Bingo-Player]

If your in your masculine frame and she is in her feminine it should be pretty straight forward

If you meet her in a bar you can take her hand and lead her to where you want to go I've done this a lot

Also I tend to just put my palm on their lower back and guide them where I want them to go

Depends on the chick but If things are heating up between us and I can feel the chemistry building I will tend to pull her closely to me and
I'll usually whisper something like " can you feel what you're doing to my c0ck whilst pressing against her"

This will make most women excited and horny it's gotten me laid a few times

You have to remember most men will play it very very safe when it comes to touching her and respecting her and all that B.S

You want to be pushing boundaries

ALWAYS Better to push to hard rather than to come off as too passive with a woman regardless of what they say

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

AA if you meet a girl off of OLD, you don't want a lame handshake as the first contact, you want a hug.

I'm not in the Game so I can't really say. I would agree with Billy above that if it's a date of some kind, the hug would likely be better.

I don't disagree, but for members already struggling with 'kino', a non-awkward hug is something to aspire to. Not something to start with.

I didn't start this for the experienced lovers like you two. If you can go for a hug, sure, but let's stick to advice that will help the awkward beginners. With some experience, you can easily turn the handshake into a hug / kiss, but they have to start somewhere and a warm and friendly handshake is better than not touching them at all.
After you've shaken hands, you can more easily take her hand to do whatever you can do to increase the intimacy, whether it's admiring her rings / nails or giving her a palm reading (not my thing, but hey) or give her a hand massage (my thing, never fails to get them where I want them).

 

[pipeman84]

With handshakes, initiate the handshake by holding out your hand and introducing yourself like a man.

Handshaking with a woman feels weird/too formal to me ... I will only handshake if she initiates it.

You have to remember most men will play it very very safe when it comes to touching her and respecting her and all that B.S

You want to be pushing boundaries

ALWAYS Better to push to hard rather than to come off as too passive with a woman regardless of what they say

Unless you know for a fact she's a hooker OR you're in a nightclub and she's drunk and you're interested in ONS, then it's a losing proposition to push the boundaries. You'll scare away any half decent girl and for what? If she's decided to sleep with you, she will ... and she'll be more aroused if you act as a gentleman instead of a horny teenager.

 

[zekko]

I don't disagree, but for members already struggling with 'kino', a non-awkward hug is something to aspire to. Not something to start with.

I've never been one for hard and fast rules, so whatever someone is comfortable with. There is such a thing as pushing your boundaries. I'm not a particularly touchy-feely type of guy myself, so to me a hug is just something you throw yourself into. But shaking a hand is better than getting the cops called on you lol.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

But shaking a hand is better than getting the cops called on you lol.

Shaking hands is not necessarily something I do, but I'm good at reading women plus I'm the huggable type.

And I must give amazing hands because they invariably want to become more intimate after a handshake.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Unless you know for a fact she's a hooker OR you're in a nightclub and she's drunk and you're interested in ONS, then it's a losing proposition to push the boundaries. You'll scare away any half decent girl and for what? If she's decided to sleep with you, she will ... and she'll be more aroused if you act as a gentleman instead of a horny teenager.

Depends on the girl and her age but generally the younger they are and the stronger your frame the more you can get away with

Ultimately every woman fantasies about being objectified by a male she is attracted to .....read some romance novels

Older women tend to have much firmer boundaries but still want to feel sexy / feminine

There's a ridiculously fine line between "being a gentleman" and sending yourself on a one way ticket into the freindzone

Like I I said its better to push too hard than be too passive , you shouldn't be worried about " scaring her away "

 

[zekko]

And I must give amazing hands because they invariably want to become more intimate after a handshake.

There's also that move where you take their hand and put your other hand on top of it.

 

[The Duke]

When do you touch her for the first time?
When I first meet a new girl on a first date I hug them. Thats my thing, I like to get the touch thing going as quickly as possible because I know its powerful for attraction. Handshakes with women are too professional for me. If they put their hand out, I shake their hand but pull them in and hug while saying "I like to hug the cute ones". lol,and they always smile.

Typically we sit down somewhere at a bar or table. Always try and get a premium spot. Something that is conducive to some level of intimacy later on if it does occur. You want the most romantic spot in the place if you can. If she ends up sitting across from me at a table, once the conversation gets flowing and her body language is positive, l tell her "I might like you a little bit, I'm going to move closer". A flirty tone and facial expression are important here. Then I move my chair adjacent to her's.

If things continue to go well, then I suggest a 2nd venue that is within walking distance. I take her hand and lead her out of the restaurant. Once we are on the sidewalk I put my hand on the small of her back. A girl that is into you will slightly turn her torso/head towards you at this point so she can make eye contact with you.

Once inside the second venue, take her by the hand and lead her to where you want to sit. Always sit at the best spot in the place.
If there is a patio with a good sunset/over looking the water then that might be a good spot. Pull a chair out for her or prompt her where you want her to sit. Sit right next to her. Order some more drinks, get the convo going again. If the vibe is right, pull her closer. Touch her hand, her thigh, whatever is appropriate. If you don't know whats appropriate then I suggest going to a venue that is good for watching people on dates and see how experienced guys do this.

When she goes to the restroom and comes back, make some funny compliment about her butt.

When its time to end the date, walk out holding hands and walk her to her car. If she is into me, my hand will be on the top of her azz. Once at her car, this is a perfect time for a kiss good night and hug. By this point I'm usually holding both of their hands or have an arm around them. Don't ask for the kiss, just do it.

Again, its up to you to judge how appropriate all of this stuff is and when to apply it. This should not be taken as some step by step black and white process.

A woman will penalize you for not acting, before she penalizes you for being too forward. They simply respond to the stimuli you create. Your job is to create the stimulus that makes attraction happen. They all like to be touched. I've only had one woman that didn't like me touching her butt in public.

 

[parabellum]

Women who are attracted to you will also find stealthy ways of touching you. One example, leaning casually on your arm. They will sit close enough there’s some opportunity for touch. They will also do the thing: oh you have something in your eye neck. Heck, I think I learned that move from a girl way back before I even read sosuave.

It’s a two way road, you can’t do too many of these if you don’t see some in return.

 

[pipeman84]

Ultimately every woman fantasies about being objectified by a male she is attracted to .....read some romance novels

100%, but we're talking about a man she likes, trusts and feels safe with, not a guy she meets the first time.

There's a ridiculously fine line between "being a gentleman" and sending yourself on a one way ticket into the freindzone

Like I I said its better to push too hard than be too passive , you shouldn't be worried about " scaring her away "

Scaring a woman away because one comes across as a fvckboy/horny teenager/baboon in heat is a fact. That she'll friendzone a guy because he acts like a gentleman is a myth. On the contrary, whatever attraction she had to begin with, it will be increased because she now sees you as a challenge. (1/3 of male traits that turn a woman on, beside having confidence and self control, according to Doc Love).

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

At what point do you go for a hug with a girl you didn't meet from OLD? Like if you were just talking to some girl in a checkout line or something and hit it off.

I mostly reserve the hug for either a goodbye or keep it for the next meeting, but I rarely hug a woman I just met her is unless I'm giving out 'free hugs'.

Most indicators is when women enter your privacy bubble without prompting. If women stand real close, they're looking to get closer to you. Otherwise they stay arm-length or further away.

When they're close, you can see how they respond when you put your arm around them to guide them to your other side (like you act they're in the way of someone wanting to pass). If they allow you to steer their body around, it's a safe bet they will like a hug.

Followup question about the hug... is it like a "church hug" or is it bodies pressed together, one hand over her shoulders and the other around her waist kind of hug?

I leave that up to the woman. I may indicate with my open hand above the small of her back that she's welcome to press her body against me, but not strong enough to feel like I'm pushing her to do so. Creative / arty women are more prone to be effusive in their greetings and I find more women like to press their bodies against me when I'm accompanied by my lovers. Most women like to step into my embrace, like a bear hug. Mostly when I want to escalate, I lower one of my open hands to their lower back and slide my other hand under their hair to the back of their neck. Women tend to hug me tighter when they feel my hand on the back of their neck, but it has to be subtle and 'comforting' rather than 'dominating'.

 

[zekko]

Women who are attracted to you will also find stealthy ways of touching you. One example, leaning casually on your arm.

Then there's the old stand next to you and stick her boob on your arm. They seem oblivious, but are they?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Do you think you would get a different response if you looked more dangerous/threatening?

Probably, but even back in time when I worked as a bouncer/cooler only men seemed intimidated by my calm and my posture. Women invariably feel safe with me. Even if they perceive an 'aura of violence' (as one called it), they know they don't have to worry about any violence directed at them, so they love to stand close to me and often hug my arm or put an arm around my waist.
I guess for women I feel more like a protective man than someone who might lose control and lash out.
Even in my kink relationships, women who enjoy pain and impact play trust me to be in control of how much pain I cause them and that I will stop immediately if they utter the safe word.

 

[The Duke]

At what point do you go for a hug with a girl you didn't meet from OLD? Like if you were just talking to some girl in a checkout line or something and hit it off.

If I meet a girl in a situation like you have described I typically won't hug her if we've only talked for a few minutes. You run the risk of making it into an awkward situation. You don't know how interested she is and if there might be coworkers around. If its a girl I met in a bar and we talked for an hour or so and there is obvious interest on her part then I will hug her before I leave. The intent behind the hug is important.

Followup question about the hug... is it like a "church hug" or is it bodies pressed together, one hand over her shoulders and the other around her waist kind of hug?

Its definitely not a church hug. Church hugs are for those you don't want to know intimately.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If I meet a girl in a situation like you have described I typically won't hug her if we've only talked for a few minutes. You run the risk of making it into an awkward situation. You don't know how interested she is and if there might be coworkers around. If its a girl I met in a bar and we talked for an hour or so and there is obvious interest on her part then I will hug her before I leave. The intent behind the hug is important.

This.
I sometimes get hugged straight at the start, but that's mostly on their initiative. By the time we're saying goodbye I'll know whether a hug will benefit us both.