Ways of Asking a Girl Out

[jaymbrs]

For some reason I find it a bit overbearing when asking a girl out on a date by specifically saying "will you go out on a date with me". I usually ask if she would like to hangout sometime. However that approach didn't work out so well with this last chick. We were in a group setting and I asked if she'd like to hangout sometime and her response was "well we're hanging out now" and went about her business. I went about mine. At the end of the night we all said our goodbyes and went home. Now I took that as her just simply not being interested (which is more than likely the case). However a female friend of mine said she probably was interested but needed a more formal request such as "go out on a date". She said the way I asked comes off as too vague and might indicate I'm just trying to smash. I don't play those types of games. Either she's interested or not and I personally believe asking to hanging out sometime is universally known as "asking you out on a date".

What do you guys think and how do you guys go about it?

 

[marmel75]

"We should grab a drink together sometime"
"I'm going to be at xXxX you should join me"

This sh!t is not hard bro...its actually really easy but people make it out to be way harder than it is like its some life and death strugle

 

[SoSuave666]

Well she wasn’t interested. Women don’t respond that bitchy when they are.

Anyway, why do you have to set something up right then and there? I’d probably say something like “you seem like a pretty cool chick, what’s your number?” Or if you’re a true man of influence you can substitute her number for your number, put the onus on her. Or get her number, then call her right there so she has yours.

You don’t need to setup a date right then and there. And you SHOULD NOT be formal about it. Be casual, that chick has no idea what she’s talking about. Stop asking advice from girls.

 

[jaymbrs]

"We should grab a drink together sometime"
"I'm going to be at xXxX you should join me"

This sh!t is not hard bro...its actually really easy but people make it out to be way harder than it is like its some life and death strugle

My point though. I usually ask vaguely like hanging out sometime or grabbing a drink sometime. Never being specific about it. My success rate isn't low either. Just wondering if it could improve by being more specific, such as your second offer of joining me at XxX place.

That was definitely low interest, ignore what your entitled friend said.

I usually come up with a very specific event to go to based on the conversation.

An aside, I've been running into a funny situation where women test my interest by asking me (just me) to an an event, I say yes, and then they invite the whole social circle lol. It's like advanced AWing/Validation seeking for the Harvard/Yale crowd.

Yea I should probably work on that. I know I've asked in that manner before but I can't remember the last time.

As for your situation, that is weird and annoying too. What did you do when that happened?

Well she wasn’t interested. Women don’t respond that bitchy when they are.

Anyway, why do you have to set something up right then and there? I’d probably say something like “you seem like a pretty cool chick, what’s your number?” Or if you’re a true man of influence you can substitute her number for your number, put the onus on her. Or get her number, then call her right there so she has yours.

You don’t need to setup a date right then and there. And you SHOULD NOT be formal about it. Be casual, that chick has no idea what she’s talking about. Stop asking advice from girls.

I wouldn't say she was bitchy. Just kinda ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about it. We've hungout in a group setting before but we haven't exchanged personal info. Just figured I'd go for the kill right then and there.

 

[SoSuave666]

I wouldn't say she was bitchy. Just kinda ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about it. We've hungout in a group setting before but we haven't exchanged personal info. Just figured I'd go for the kill right then and there.

Unfortunately what used to be considered masculine in years past can now feel like pressure. If you ask her out in the middle of a social setting it becomes a situation where she feels pressure. Just number close at the end of the night and set up something for a week. I do not think there is high enough interest level either way, but I think this is the best approach.

 

[jaymbrs]

Unfortunately what used to be considered masculine in years past can now feel like pressure. If you ask her out in the middle of a social setting it becomes a situation where she feels pressure. Just number close at the end of the night and set up something for a week. I do not think there is high enough interest level either way, but I think this is the best approach.

Makes sense. Especially the pressure part. I agree with the low IL. I'll leave this be but will keep the suggestion for the next one.

 

[HankHill]

"Let's get a drink this/next week, when are you free?"
"When are you free to grab a drink this/next week?"

This way you're emphasizing on the 'when' part and her answer will make it clear if she's interested or not as well as setup a confirmed date/time. Gets rid of all the uncertainty and back and forth.

 

[jaymbrs]

Just go only if I would do it regardless of her being there. I'm cool with the ppl they invite since it's all in the circle so depends if I want to go. A big thing too is these girls have a lot of pride.

They're entitled too. They no longer get off on one guy chasing them. They need multiple guys doing it. Which seems to correlate to what's going on with you. I would go too if I would go whether she goes or not but if I get the feeling she's purposely trying to make me fight over her, she can get lost.

 

[Glassguy]

OP please remember this-

1.) A woman does not want to be put on the spot (they are naturally covert, not overt).

2.) You never want to show a woman your hand. Saying "will you go out on a date with me" seems like its either 1950 or your totally overly interested in her. Make her work.

3.) Seriousness isnt sexy. Mystery is sexy.

"I am going to such and such place tomorrow night. You should join"-

It shows-

1.) You are going with or without her. You have options and are not relying on any 1 woman to dictate what you will or will not do socially for fun.
2.) There is no pressure.
3.) She knows that you are interested by asking her to join. These chicks arent retarded (well most anyways). Covertly you are telling her that you are interested but its cool if she cant come because you have other purposes in your life besides getting one particular woman out for drinks.
4.) How much you are interested is to be seen (the mystery) and she will only know if she shows up.

If no attraction on her end, it doesnt matter what you say she isnt showing up.

I will guarantee you this- I will never use "date" or "Will you..." ever again when I ask a chick out.

 

[Spaz]

I never ever ask a prospective date when she is free.

To know if a woman is a prospective date, you'd must be able to gauge her level of interest in you.

Once i've determined that she is, I'll ask her to join me for either drinks/movie/trips on a certain day.

Example;

"Hey, Jocelyn, join me for a fun trip to an island this saturday"

"Hey, Jocelyn, join me for some drinks at this fantastic new club"

"Hey, Jocelyn, join me at the theatre, there's an awesome movie showing tonight and we can do something fun after"

If "Jocelyn" didn't give a favorable reply, that's fine, then I'll ask "Laura" or "Monica" or one of my plates.

Either way I'm going. I lead, she follows and it almost always end in a fvck.