"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Was this chick BPD??

bunjy

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As some of you may know I recently had an experience with a chick who was a bit of a nightmare. Dated for a couple of months and recently walked away. Needless to say I feel much better now having gotten rid of her. I was talking to a friend of mine about the situation I ended up in and he mentioned it sounded like she had a borderline personality disorder. Id never heard of this before so did some googling out of curiosity. I searched the forums here and it seems quite a few of you have experience of dating chicks with BPD. When I first started dating her I just assumed she was an AW but I did feel as if something wasnt quite right but I couldnt figure out what. Anyway heres some things which make me think she may well have been BPD:

She was obsessed with getting as much male attention as possible.
She came on very very strong, declaring her love for me within a couple of weeks when we barely new each other.
Was very calculated and manipulative with complete disregard for other people.
She blew hot/cold and push/pull continuously. Some days everything was great other days it was terrible.
She told lies (mainly ones to make her life seems more interesting than it actually was)
She drank heavily on a very regular basis (3/4 times a week heavy drinking sessions often lasting all night).
She was unable to accept any sort of responsibility for her actions, even when it was glaringly obvious she had done wrong.
She had been in psychically abusive relationships.
A fair few of her exes where 'bad guys' who still stalked her apparently.
She had very few genuine female friends and her closest friends where male exes
She would become angry very easily if we had even a minor disagreement and would make up things I had said/done.
She was very unorganised and generally didnt have her life together, couldnt hold a steady job, started a night school course and quickly dropped out. Generally couldnt organise anything.
She'd add men on social media within 30 seconds of meeting them and would constantly seek attention on social media.
She just generally seemed to have this delusional attitude and live in a kind of self constructed dream world that was far from the reality she was in.

So guys what you think? Was this chick BPD? I feel as if I had a lucky escape but would be good to know the signs for next time so I can run for the hills!!
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Glumix

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Ask a psychiatrist.

BPD is a name for the signs. What's important is not the name.
 

bunjy

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The latest - three per week average - 'is/was this chick BPD' post.

Who cares?

Any woman behaving anything like the wacko you describe should be avoided.
Well yes. She was indeed a wacko.
 

Sprayarc

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Whatever she was she sounds toxic. Be glad she's out of your life.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Powersurgeon

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Sounds like my exwife. Too bad we had children and I have to see her on a daily basis. The most striking trait for me is the lies, She lies about everything.
 

bunjy

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Sounds like my exwife. Too bad we had children and I have to see her on a daily basis. The most striking trait for me is the lies, She lies about everything.
Oh dear, sounds hard. Yeah this chick told some ridiculous lies that where so unbelievable it would seem silly to tell them as getting caught was a given.

When she got cauht red handed she'd just brush it off and stay silent. Was very strange behaviour.
 

Julian

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crazy *****
 

Sprayarc

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Oh dear, sounds hard. Yeah this chick told some ridiculous lies that where so unbelievable it would seem silly to tell them as getting caught was a given.

When she got cauht red handed she'd just brush it off and stay silent. Was very strange behaviour.
I don't think this is to uncommon with women now a days. The last women I dated did the same thing.

Don't ever expect the truth. Don't try to get it out of her. If you know she lies to you and you don't like it drop her or just use her to fulfill her needs.

If it really bothers you then drop her, go no contact and block her.

Minimal analysis is ok to perceive the situation for what it is and be able to identify women like this in the future so you don't become attached before you figure out she is nuts.

But especially after the fact try to minimize worrying about it. The longer you don't have contact with her the more you'll get over it.
 
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