If you’re on a first date with a girl and everything seems to be going well, and she randomly brings up the subject of “do you think you and I could be friends if we didn’t workout?” I said “absolutely not, I don’t do platonic friendships, if a girl isnt feeling a relationship that’s fine, I’m good with casual dating or friends with benefits. Not doing just friends with a girl I’m attracted to though, sorry”. I caught her off guard with my answer. Her jaw dropped. She kinda smiled at my answer but you can tell she wasn’t expecting my answer. I bet she was waiting on me to say “sure!”. Hell no. Apparently it was a test though because she didn’t change towards me the rest of the night and allowed me to kiss her and stuff. My worry is that you know how girls have second thoughts after first dates sometimes, they’ll go home and think on it and decide you aren’t for them a day or two after. Not much I can do about that though, but I dint regret being honest with her. I think she appreciated it.
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Was this a sh!t test or friendzone attempt to see how I’d act or what?
- Thread starter Robert28
- Start date
Robert I dont know how you always find yourself in friend zone territory. It is something you are or aren't doing that puts you there.
Edited to add no disrespect whatsoever. Just challenging you to think what about you makes women want to be friends with you.
Edited to add no disrespect whatsoever. Just challenging you to think what about you makes women want to be friends with you.
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I luckily have had years of frednzone free dating until the last year, seems to be popping up everywhere now.lol I dint wait too long to escalate, I was touching her hand within 15 mins of meeting, I hold eye contact when she’s speaking or when I’m speaking, when we sat at the bar her body language was facing me and not away from me. How would I be putting off friendzone vibes as I got older and not when I was younger? I can’t figure that out. I think I get too comfortable around women and then they can sense I’m comfortable, so they get comfortable and confuse that with friend vibes?
Serenity
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I remember back when I was starting to figure out my issues regarding women. I had finally gotten a date, but I was reading on this forum on the side and decided to apply some of it. Clearly I was very much a newbie and made a ton of mistakes, by some miracle we still had sex on the first date. I was waaay too slow at escalating and thinking about that date makes me cringe today (but I learned a lot from it though).
After that first date she sent me a text saying I was really passive and maybe it's better we're just friends. I told her I have zero interest in friendship with her. A couple of days passed and she did a complete 180. Guess she figured out I might not have been the beta chump she thought I was. I don't blame her for that first impression though, I really did mess up a lot.
After that first date she sent me a text saying I was really passive and maybe it's better we're just friends. I told her I have zero interest in friendship with her. A couple of days passed and she did a complete 180. Guess she figured out I might not have been the beta chump she thought I was. I don't blame her for that first impression though, I really did mess up a lot.
Yeah , definitely you are doing some things wrong
it is not about only you escalating with the girl , it is also about being a sexy guy while you do this .
Like smiling with a grin , saying some sexual stuff plus the usual deep dive and making your intent clear
it is not about only you escalating with the girl , it is also about being a sexy guy while you do this .
Like smiling with a grin , saying some sexual stuff plus the usual deep dive and making your intent clear
I think there are two "good" answers.
One is @Robert28 's answer. She will respect you for your candor and frame.
The other is an agree / agree & amplify. But it also has to be done with total indifference and perhaps even a joke. "**** buddies...kinky." "Only if you promise to hold my hair back when I throw up." Etc.
One is @Robert28 's answer. She will respect you for your candor and frame.
The other is an agree / agree & amplify. But it also has to be done with total indifference and perhaps even a joke. "**** buddies...kinky." "Only if you promise to hold my hair back when I throw up." Etc.
I’ve done all that and still had things not work out. It’s not they I’ve never been successful, this whole friendzone thing has cropped up in the past year. It’s like Tom Brady forgets how to pass all of a sudden and yet has 4 super bowl rings.
I think most guys think they are being aggressive but the woman doesn’t, it’s like the woman wants the guy to just dive all over her but the guy is holding back because he isn’t sure if she’s really into him or just going along with the date. Sometimes signals aren’t always fool proof. I’ve had girls that acted very uninterested who ended up sleeping with me on a second date, to women on a first date where I knew a second date was a sure thing only to get a text “sorry, had a great time but just wasn’t feeling it” and yet the whole time you could have sworn she was into you.
BackInTheGame78
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I do my best when I am sexual and escalate but don't go too far on the first date. I was having a tendency to go a little too aggressive on the first date and it was scaring women off. Once I recalibrated a little less aggressiveness it was back to working a lot better for me.
bat soup
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You have to take small steps. That's the big mistake I used to make - going suddenly for a much higher level of contact instead of increasing gradually one step at a time (but not necessarily slowly). If you make too big a step it can definitely scare some women off, that otherwise might have been down.
bat soup
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I think you did the right thing by saying no, but it's not a great sign that she brought this up. The saving grace is that she said "if we didn't work out". If she ever tries to push you into the friend zone you have to stand firm and refuse to deal with her on that basis.
I mean I always kiss the girl on the first date. At least 9 times out of 10. But I’ve learned a long time ago to kiss her early in the date and not wait until the end. But sometimes that’s still not always foolproof.
I think she knows I won’t go into the friendzone. Ever. But when she said it she said it with a smirk on her face, she kept saying “you mean you wouldn’t be my friend?” and I kept saying “nope, I don’t do platonic friendships. Friends with benefits is fine.” People say “make your intentions clear”, I couldn’t be more clear than I was.
Than maybe it just means that you are showing too much value and they are afraid that by involving sex eventually she will loose the perks that are coming with you .
either this , either she thinks that you’re way over her in terms of value and thinks that you do not like her enough so she rejects you before you reject her
either this , either she thinks that you’re way over her in terms of value and thinks that you do not like her enough so she rejects you before you reject her
But dont women try to always date up and not down? You’d think if those were the cases they’d be trying to lock me down, not screw around and run me off.
yes they want with date someone at least their level , but they also want someone that is attainable
you have to show some flaws , say things that make her feel good about herself , etc . Basically you have to be attentive towards her
D1ck game only works if you are at the same level with her or lower , if your value is higher than hers this can and will backfire in a nasty way
Attainability Woes; or, Why Girls Who Like You Reject You
Commenting on “I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]”, TR asks the following about girls who appear to like you, yet ultimately sabotage their interactions with you due to hang-ups: “I've noticed that even though I can have an outstanding interaction with a woman that clearly likes...
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DEEZEDBRAH
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The game is not on point. I esculate. Comply or bye.
Be ruthless and Neanderthal with your time. Absolutely savage.
DEEZEDBRAH
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You nor I are not 1% even if Henry's (high earner not yet rich). She has better options to her. She mistakes wants to smash as her being special. She has only known attention. When it goes its gone. #nextset
Next fast. Acquire options. Formula a stack you flow through but bare bones prerequisites are feminine, submissive, cooperative or gtfo. Dtf genuine desire is a must. Ambiguity means next.
I got a point where I would go out, smash, and then leave abruptly to go get more girls. The outcome is irrelevant. Cultivate being that guy. They don't warrant exclusivity nor much time after the D.
Become a mercenary in the game. Kill shot with your D. She's servicing you or she's in the streets.
Well when she asked me we were drinking and she was riding with me so I couldn’t exactly walk out on her.lol I did go into a bit more detail, “I don’t do friendzone, sorry. If I’m attracted to you then I’m always going to be attracted to you and I’m not going to put myself in that situation.” I set it up that way because I knew she’d come back with “are you attracted to me?” and she did, so I went in for the kiss the second time without saying a word. Think that got me out of whatever road she was trying to lead me down.
Seems like an attainability problem on your end .
to quickly fix it talk less about you and whatever your are doing let her speak more about whatever crossed her mind
