Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Maybe. I bailed early, so we will never know.Maybe the other guy ended up banging her...
You did everything right and you still had a chance with this chick until...this part above! You accepted defeat by using circumstances as the cop out.Instead of questioning her, I told her I can’t give her the time she deserves, and that if circumstances were different, but I have to leave it for now.
Her response is very blasé - “It’s okay, don’t be sorry, I completely understand. Thank you for the message though, it’s better to be honest ”
100% agree - I’ve shown her no desire to commit, fight for her and/or any value or respect for her in this instance.You did everything right and you still had a chance with this chick until...this part above! You accepted defeat by using circumstances as the cop out.
I wouldn't have made any contact and acted as if you have other chicks to keep you busy. She would've likely come back...this is why I never fully close doors and never openly accept defeat. Leave the ball in her court because most guys don't know how to keep women even if they get them initially.
Nothing you can do for this one but you're young so this is all part of learning...even us old guys learn new things everyday.
At what part of your wall of text did you spin plates?Interested in thoughts on:
- was she actually really into me?
- why delete those messages?
- why did she react that way to me breaking it off?
- if I wanted to turn this around, could I? And how?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I never close doors but I am actually busy. Instead of pretending he has options, he should actually have options lolYou did everything right and you still had a chance with this chick until...this part above! You accepted defeat by using circumstances as the cop out.
I wouldn't have made any contact and acted as if you have other chicks to keep you busy. She would've likely come back...this is why I never fully close doors and never openly accept defeat. Leave the ball in her court because most guys don't know how to keep women even if they get them initially.
Nothing you can do for this one but you're young so this is all part of learning...even us old guys learn new things everyday.
And you don't want to do that either! you simply drop a few hints every now and again that you like them. They have to be hints too not open conversations. Women are like cats, if you dangle a string in front of them they love to chase it but if you drop the string they gets bored and walk away.100% agree - I’ve shown her no desire to commit, fight for her and/or any value or respect for her in this instance.
I’ve considered if I could save it, but I don’t think it’s possibke without giving her the power and coming across weak, no matter how it’s worded.
Sound advice, much better than the jokers replies above.And you don't want to do that either! you simply drop a few hints every now and again that you like them. They have to be hints too not open conversations. Women are like cats, if you dangle a string in front of them they love to chase it but if you drop the string they gets bored and walk away.
You can't save it now. However, if you really like her there is still a small chance...but you have to not jump the gun or this girl is really history. Give it about 6-8 weeks then reach out and say 'hey, I saw [xyz] the other night and that reminded me of you. I hope you're doing well!'. The rest is up to her - if she responds don't jump to respond her right away and post here to get some feedback before responding.
However, in those 6-8 weeks you should be working on picking up other women...if you do well you might not even want to reach out to her later, this would be ideal because of the distance limitations with this girl anyway.
sounds like you're in denial; I have been there myself many times and I've constantly been in long distance relationships (I'm in one right now and read my last post). This is blue pill idealism. We need to realize that when a woman is in her pre-ovulutary phase (days 6-15) of her menstrual cycle, her hormones can cause her to do some things that she herself cannot explain! It's not necessarily that she does not "love" you, but her hypergamous state will complement where she is in life.Fair one, but based on what I’ve been told and the comments she’s made, we are more compatible, click better, laugh more etc... then there’s the sex...
Accordingly to research online, compatibility is what a woman decides on when torn between two guys.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Glad you turned it around. I agree that while people mean well only you know your situation best and sometimes you have to take chances if you really like someone. I think the problem is no one wants to come across as vulnerable fearing it's weak but being vulnerable is not necessarily weakness it's the ability to want to take chances even if something can fail. However, taking chances in life is 'Alpha' even though I don't believe in Alpha/Beta marketing crap...the same person can posses both traits and to me that's a healthy person. Most people want to act emotionally dead - unfortunately you become what you practice.So, I turned it around.
A few days later, I dropped her a text.
She replied saying she doesn’t understand, thought I’d asked her to move on and has, and thinks I’m messing with her head.
After, a few text exchanges, using the right type of words, for example... “answer me this - was the chemistry between us fire, even from such an early stage? If the answer is yes, let’s talk”.
Few days later we meet for a walk and talk, she reveals there’s something about me and that there’s something missing from him. The talk results in a kissing session, and back on track. “You’re naughty” seemed to be used a lot.
Not 100% over the hill by any stretch, but wasn’t dead in the water like some people on here said.
Now just playing it cool in a relaxed headspace. If it happens, ideal. If not, I enjoyed the ride!
Moral of the story - really understand your situation, the woman in question, and take advice with a pinch of salt. Especially from men who refer to themselves as alpha af and not weak ass bitvhes.
Now walk towards a wall, any available wall that's close by; then knock your head against the wall. Knock off some of those dumb cells that's breeding in ur brains..So, I turned it around.
A few days later, I dropped her a text.
She replied saying she doesn’t understand, thought I’d asked her to move on and has, and thinks I’m messing with her head.
After, a few text exchanges, using the right type of words, for example... “answer me this - was the chemistry between us fire, even from such an early stage? If the answer is yes, let’s talk”.
Few days later we meet for a walk and talk, she reveals there’s something about me and that there’s something missing from him. The talk results in a kissing session, and back on track. “You’re naughty” seemed to be used a lot.
Not 100% over the hill by any stretch, but wasn’t dead in the water like some people on here said.
Now just playing it cool in a relaxed headspace. If it happens, ideal. If not, I enjoyed the ride!
Moral of the story - really understand your situation, the woman in question, and take advice with a pinch of salt. Especially from men who refer to themselves as alpha af and not weak ass bitvhes.
See that’s where you’re wrong. I have no got the power and can now ‘spin plates’ and play the games.Your ego has been the story from day 1 in this thread and will just lead you to keep getting played.
You been on SoSuave.females.com to check she hasn’t?How does that give you power when she is spinning plates x10 and isn't making posts about someone she went on a few dates with confessing how much he likes her?