"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Was I right by doing this?

B-Real

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 14, 2005
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I've known this girl for probably 10 months. We tried dating, we tried breaking up, we tried being friends, blah, blah, blah.

It just never seemed to work out, yet we were always nice to each other and told one another that once the time was "right" we would date. The only reason we can't right now is because of the distance thing. She still told me I was the only guy that was "up her alley" and how there is no one like me she's ever known. Regardless, this girl and I are close.

Anyway, this past weekend I decided to get a little spontaneous. A friend of mine told me Thursday night that Friday he and some friends are driving to another town. Well low and behold this other town was the town this girl lives in. So I thought "hmm i'll show her that I care enough to go out on a limb and come visit her." I guess I assumed I could stay with her, considering she once came and stayed with me all weekend.

Well I texted her Thursday night and told her I was coming up there in the morning. No response. So on the road I try and text her again (because she won't answer my call) and tell her we're on the road and should be there at so and so time and another one of our mutual friends is gonna be there too.

Well I be dang if she didn't get mad and go off on me. She said "Well you guys have fun because I have plans all weekend!!" So I thought ok she's just making a scene.

Come to find out I have to stay with some people I don't know Friday and luckily our mutual friends came up and gotta motel (its a couple) and I had to crash there little romantic thing Saturday night. She told me she was not gonna see me.

It was a horrible weekend and she still blames me. I mean yeah I should have told her I was coming more in advance but at one point in time I was struggling to find a place to stay. She was just plain disrespectful all weekend. The least she could have done was meet me for a second and say "hey" or something. I can't belive this girl.

Then, Sunday when I came home she calls. AFTER she knows I'm home and don't need a place to stay. Well I go off on her tell her things are over between us and she says she understands. Then she preceeds to tell me she's sorry for the way she is, that she has something wrong with her that makes her turn into super b**** all the time and that I don't deserve a girl like that.

Is this completely all my fault for showing up unannounced? Or did I do the right thing by ending things with her? I mean at one point in time I didn't know where I was gonna sleep!! And she didn't even care!!!

Sorry for the length, thanks in advance.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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