"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Was I right by doing this?

B-Real

Don Juan
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I've known this girl for probably 10 months. We tried dating, we tried breaking up, we tried being friends, blah, blah, blah.

It just never seemed to work out, yet we were always nice to each other and told one another that once the time was "right" we would date. The only reason we can't right now is because of the distance thing. She still told me I was the only guy that was "up her alley" and how there is no one like me she's ever known. Regardless, this girl and I are close.

Anyway, this past weekend I decided to get a little spontaneous. A friend of mine told me Thursday night that Friday he and some friends are driving to another town. Well low and behold this other town was the town this girl lives in. So I thought "hmm i'll show her that I care enough to go out on a limb and come visit her." I guess I assumed I could stay with her, considering she once came and stayed with me all weekend.

Well I texted her Thursday night and told her I was coming up there in the morning. No response. So on the road I try and text her again (because she won't answer my call) and tell her we're on the road and should be there at so and so time and another one of our mutual friends is gonna be there too.

Well I be dang if she didn't get mad and go off on me. She said "Well you guys have fun because I have plans all weekend!!" So I thought ok she's just making a scene.

Come to find out I have to stay with some people I don't know Friday and luckily our mutual friends came up and gotta motel (its a couple) and I had to crash there little romantic thing Saturday night. She told me she was not gonna see me.

It was a horrible weekend and she still blames me. I mean yeah I should have told her I was coming more in advance but at one point in time I was struggling to find a place to stay. She was just plain disrespectful all weekend. The least she could have done was meet me for a second and say "hey" or something. I can't belive this girl.

Then, Sunday when I came home she calls. AFTER she knows I'm home and don't need a place to stay. Well I go off on her tell her things are over between us and she says she understands. Then she preceeds to tell me she's sorry for the way she is, that she has something wrong with her that makes her turn into super b**** all the time and that I don't deserve a girl like that.

Is this completely all my fault for showing up unannounced? Or did I do the right thing by ending things with her? I mean at one point in time I didn't know where I was gonna sleep!! And she didn't even care!!!

Sorry for the length, thanks in advance.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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