Was I played or not?

[itstough]

Help Me out here please. I was after this woman that I work with for some time. We was kind of work friends at first we would eat lunch together every day hang out at work. Well one day she tells me that she wants me but she has a boyfriend and I told her I want her also. So after that everything changed she would flirt with me all the time hang out around me invited me to parties at her house bought me a birthday gift etc. Her birthday was a week after mine so since she got me something I thought I should get her something so I tried to buy her lunch she would NOT let me!!!!! I would sometimes have no money so she tried to buy me lunch. So I guess she was not a gold digger not that I have money anyway. Some of the other things that she did was mirror me I would catch her watching me when I was not looking. She would kind of take care of me look out for me and stick up for me when my boss would complain about me. One thing is she stayed with her boyfriend but he supports her and I can't so I don't know if that has anything to do with anything or not. Also I tried to kiss her and she rejected me "told me not where people can see us". Also one more thing she would do was come over to my office all the time to see me she would make up some kind of stupid question to ask me. I would tell her to bring me breakfast in the morning and she did. This is stupid but hey it work,,I was walking around a mall with her and I noticed my shoe was untied so I pointed to it and she bent over and tied my shoe for me LOL.


This other chick that works with me today told me that this woman played me. She said she just had a mock relationship with me to make her feel good about herself when her and her boyfriend was fighting. She said woman have to hear you tell them you like them, which I know but can any guy who looks like HeII still tell them they like a woman and it would still make them happy? I then asked her why did she do all those things for me then and she said she thinks it's because some people want a lover and a person to take care of them.

I think this is a little odd because if somebody was going to play me and god knows it has happen to me before that she would not do all those things she did for me. What do you guys think?

 

[Chimps]

First off, dating between coworkers is a big no no. I have had first hand expierence with this before and it is not pretty. Just trust me on it. Also, getting her a birthday present was another bad decision IMO. You aren't dating, you aren't exclusive, whether or not she bought you a present. It does sound like she was playing you to make herself feel better (ie-the mirroring, inviting you to parties, etc.). In all reality my friend, you got played, move on and find another chick.

 

[Yoson]

I've have little exprience, so im not saying ur wrong.
But i want to understand why u think shes playing him by: mirroring, inviting him to her part, and etc? What clues would tell him that hes not getting played?

 

[OpenMind]

She has a boyfriend..... enough said..

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

It actually does NOT sound like he was played... She would not have used THAT much work for just some selfesteem over some "random" guy.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Originally posted by OpenMind
She has a boyfriend..... enough said..

Hu? That's just fun.

 

[OpenMind]

Been in the situation before, bottom line, she has a boyfriend..she is playing the field. Never let a woman with a boyfriend take you for a test drive until she is single. You are letting her have her cake and eat it too.. Why should she go through all the trouble of dumping her boyfriend when all these AFC's are willing to give up themselves to a woman who is taken? Besides..you should be playing her..

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Yes he should play her, fux her and just use her for that.

 

[OpenMind]

Eactly my point.. but when a guy starts thinking about the situation and posting about it, then he is starting to get feelings for her, and therefore he is headed for oneitis. To play a woman is to not care about the outcome and I hope for his sake he doesn't... good luck!

 

[usdaprime]

This is interesting now how do you think she was playing you? Other than that person telling you so?

 

[joey37]

I guess I'm a little confused here. How is buying you breakfast, tying your shoes and sticking up for you with your boss playing you????????

 

[itstough]

I guess I'm a little confused here. How is buying you breakfast, tying your shoes and sticking up for you with your boss playing you????????

I was pointing out some of the things she did for me that makes me think she was not playing me. I am throughly confused here, that why I am asking for somebody to help me out here. If I can't understand woman I will never be a DJ and I will end up hurt all the time. So was I played or not???????

 

[JustDoItAlways]

The difference between a girl who is playing you and one who actually wants you is ...

... The girl who wants you, fvcks you. Anything else and she is just playing you.

Make a real move which can lead to you two getting it on. Try a couple of times. If she rejects your advances, then you have your answer.

 

[usdaprime]

What I don't understand if she is playing with this dude, then why does she do all those things for him? I don't get this one.

 

[OpenMind]

Its called "buying his attention" with gifts and small favors... JustDoItAlways hit the nail on the head.. if she wants you she will fvck you.. thats the bottom line.. trust me I have been there..

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Yes your co-worker lady is right, you got PLAYED BAD!! You DO NOT reveal your feelings to a girl EVER until your positive she wants you. You took all the mystery and desire away from the situation buy telling her you like her. And WTF were you thinking buying her a birthday gift?? Never buy things for girls until you've pounded their ***** into submission. Even then do it rarely, so when you actually do buy her something its more meaningful. And I agree with Chimps, never fuvk with co-workers, its never pretty when you 2 have to see eachother after things go downhill.


NEXT!!



PIMP

 

[itstough]

WTF were you thinking buying her a birthday gift??

I didn't she bought me one, then her birthday was a week or 2 after mine so I was going to take her to eat but she refused to let me pay. We would go to resturants and eat all the time.

Its called "buying his attention" with gifts and small favors

WHAT??? as the saying goes why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. There was other guys at work who would hit on her but she blew them off. What my attention was so important to her that she would try to buy it? I am confused. Also what was the point behind the mirroring and her looking at me when i was not watching?

I have been reading the dj Bible so I am clueless what I did wrong here. I know telling her that I like her was a mistake. What else could i have done? I know one thing is that I didn't sit there and say oh you are so hot sexy etc etc like another guy did but he is 51 and she is 22 so maybe she didn't care. Whenever somebody would hit on her I would laugh. But prior to reading the bible I would of tried to hit on her too or got mad at somebody trying to hit on her..

 

[DJ_Dork]

Originally posted by JustDoItAlways
The difference between a girl who is playing you and one who actually wants you is ...

... The girl who wants you, fvcks you. Anything else and she is just playing you.

Make a real move which can lead to you two getting it on. Try a couple of times. If she rejects your advances, then you have your answer.

Listen to what this guy says. If the girl has sexual interest in you and starts touching you suggestively - then she's not playing you. Any moron with feelings can buy lunch, tie shoelaces and stuff. Basically you are providing her with the emotions/togetherness of a relationship but then who is she bonking - her boyfriend. If this has been going on for about 2-3 months and no sexual touchings yet.. then you are her "cuddle *****" - in other words you are her "played" living teddy bear. ALSO - dating coworkers is always a bad thing unless you/her plan to leave the workplace within weeks of starting a relationship.

 

[JJMcLure]

This sounds so much like this thread:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=42103

Chicks like attention to boost their ego. If their relationship isn't what they want e.g. BF is a jerk etc, they like to have a "guy friend" to do soft stuff with and then they go home to the BF and enjoy getting pounded hard into the bed.

On a side note:

At the start you shouldn't have verbalised your feelings, this gave her what she needed (validation of her desirability) and it set her wheels in motion. She basically "tricked" you into it by saying she liked you. Better to have used some ****y + funny e.g. "how unlucky for you" etc.

Once a chick knows she has some power over you she will exploit it (they all know how to play games, it is fun to them - not necessarily to be cruel, it's just second nature - like a cat playing with a mouse). You gave that away for nothing (no kiss/sex/date), once it was gone you had no chips to bargain with.

Remember actions not words in future.

 

[penkitten]

rule of thumb....
if you find yourself asking if you were played, then you were without a doubt.
trust your inner voice, it may be insane but it doesnt lie to you.