Was I Harsh With Her?

[Dave111]

I recently dumped my girlfriend, whom I'd been dating for two years.

She had become a selfish,self absorbed immature silly girl, and I no longer wanted to be with her, she was making my life pretty miserable.

She was a really beautiful looking girl, the type that every guy looked at, but I think she thought that because she was pretty and attractive that she could get away with anything she wanted as every guy would supplicate to her because of her beauty.

I was determined not to be like her past boyfriends and not kiss her ass.

basically the final straw came when we had booked a holiday together and then at the last moment I find out that she's invited two of her pals, a guy and a girl along with us without even letting me know about it.

I found this totally disrespectful and immediatly told her I was no longer interested in being with her. The thing that dumbfounded me was that she told me that she didn't know she'd done anything wrong.

She then demanded that I tell her my exact reasons for dumping her.......so I did.

I told her that I found her to be immature, selfish, self absorbed, thoughless and totally insensitive.

She was pretty taken aback by what I had to say to her.

That was a month ago and I have made a point of not contacting her and moving on.

Its messed up because I actually did like this girl, for some strange reason all be it!, but do you guys think I was too harsh to tell her my exact reasons for ending it. I guess Im finding it hard to forget her, but Im trying my best to do that.

I guess I just needed to talk to other people about it, because I think I'm being labeled 'The Bas tard' by her and all her friends, because I had the 'nerve' to dump her.

I think she thought she was too beautiful to get dumped. I was the first guy to ever dump her (and she's 24yrs old, going on 25!!!)

 

[Jariel]

No, you were not too harsh. I've been with girls like this and I respect you for standing up and speaking your mind.

She is probably so used to getting her own way, she is now just throwing a tantrum and wanting to get back at you. Whenever I dump/reject arrogant women, they always give me abuse, but I know at heart they respect me and I'd much rather that than have them walk all over me.

It's always sad to face the reality that an amazingly hot girl has a major personality flaw, but letting her go is the best solution, trust me.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Dave111, I dated a girl that would invite her other friends without letting me know. I know that there's nothing wrong with inviting friends to go to places or even vacations, but not telling me about it just tells me that the woman doesn't really care about me deep down and wants to bring her girlfriends. I'm going to guess she has done this act to you several times, I wonder if you have said anything about this at all. Good riddance, now go on find another girl.

Some extra tips:

1. If a girl cares more about her friends than you - she's no good. You can tell by the way how she acts like you're not there when her friends are there.

2. A normal girl helps plan dates or activities with you in mind, she doesn't plan these activities that include her friend(s.) - If she does, it's alright once in every couple weeks - but if it's every week - She isn't that much into you.

3. A girl who is interested in being your partner truly asks about you, your feelings, and what you think. If you're with a girl that doesn't ask any questions about who, what you think. She might not be that into you. And what if she's the shy type? Bullcrap! Shy girls are not shy in private.

When you see the above examples happening in your relationship, consider the alternative of "looking" for a more compatible partner for yourself.

 

[Climax]

Dave111: My question to you is... All the things u told her she was, did u ever talk to her about it and tell her that u are not happy with her being that way? or did you just let it build up inside and then one day u exploded at her and dumped her?

If you DID tell her what she was doing wrong and communicated how you were feeling about everything, and yet she still KEPT ON doing it, then yes, what you did was fine.

But if you did not point out to her what you were not happy with, and left her guessing what she was doing wrong (she even said she neva knew that she did anything wrong), then I think that you have yourself to blame for her being the way she was, and for the breakup, just as much as she was to blame.

They don’t say that communication is one of the most important, if not THE most important thing in a relationship for nothing ya'know.


Laterz...

 

[joekerr31]

you played this right.

neither one of you were wrong really. you just had different expectations from a relationship. she's use to getting her own way and having men take her ****. lots of guys are happy with this trade off, and are fine with being walked on in exchange for having a trophy on their arm.

self respect over ***** man, you did the right thing.

J

 

[Luveno]

When breaking up with a woman, one does not need to explain his reasons. The man should do it quickly and tactfully, and if the woman wants to know why, she can date someone else who will tell her.

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by Dave111
do you guys think I was too harsh to tell her my exact reasons for ending it. I guess Im finding it hard to forget her, but Im trying my best to do that.

What? You should lie instead? "it's not you, it's me?" Screw that.

You may have done her and her future bfs a favor. Probably not because people don't often find faults in themselves unless they're the ones to discover them to begin with, but maybe...

Whether you really should have bothered yourself to tell her anything may be up to debate but "too harsh" i don't think so. You told the truth. Since when is the truth wrong?

 

[Legend]

I think you did the right thing... just because shes hot the world owes her a living. What a prize she must have been. You shouldnt second guess yourself.

 

[flexion_]

I think you handled everything well.