"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Want to LJBF'ed by a girl.

Jukeboxhero

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Okay, before I go into more detail about this I want to tell you a little about my current job. This is certainly a unique position that not a lot of guys find themselves in (at least IMHO) and I might have the opportunity to take advantage of it.

You see, it is my job to call dozens of girls everyday. I work for a hotel at the call center. I basically take all the incoming calls and of course--call around to about 25 or so hotels in the area to get their rates and rooms for the night. So in the process of doing this I'm pretty well known and have made some good casual phone friends with quite a few people.

I actually had the idea of asking people to hang out as friends a long time ago--it was even suggested to me once by a supervisor. Never really acted on it but since visiting dating sites I've decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to increase my circle of friends.
So I find out this one girl Keisha was having a Birthday this month. I told her she should invite me to one of her parties (she goes out a lot) and she said sure! Long story short we exchanged numbers and she invited me to go to an "Icebreaker at some Ballroom near where I live.

I called her about 10pm and she told she was on her way home from her second job and would call me when she got back, she also mentioned she might not have her I.D.
About 30 min later she calls and tells me she can't get a hold of her friend who she loaned her I.D. to. Also she wasn't sure if we needed tickets to get into the place.

So anyways, I decide I'm going to go with or without her. When I get there I see about a good 50 or so black guys standing one side and an equal amount of girls on the other. As time passes the line moves excruitatingly slow and I'm literally the only white male in a sea of african american dudes and a variety of females.
Now don't get me wrong. I really have no problem with any race but when I'm outnumbered about 200 to 1 I feel a bit uncomfortable. However, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and stick out to see what happened even after hearing about the possible $20 cover charge. That all changed when a fight broke out and the cops rushed in and kicked out about 6 homeboys.
At that point I called her back and asked if she had gotten her I.d. from her friend. Of course she hadn't got in contact so I told her I was going to Easton--a much friendlier atmosphere and one with no cover charge.

Much to my suprise she actually called me the next night from her Mom's house and asked if I still wanted to hang out. I acted somewhat reluctant because I had been helping my friend move a whole Uhaul full of furniture and I had to be at 5:30 am. Then she offered to call me back and possibly just hang out at the bar in her hotel for an hour or so. I went to bed early and never got a call back.

Now the main question is not how to attract her to me. Honestly I don't really expect her to be attractive and I'm really not sure if she is someone I would want to date or not--I just want more friends and she seems to have a nice personality and she's very social
Anyways, I did call her a few days later and asked if she wanted to hang out on Wednesday. I suggested a bar on campus but she said she didn't know where it was so I told her to call me back later and we would arrange something. I'm not sure if forgot or perhaps got the wrong message and thought I would be calling her but she hasn't called me back since then.

So I'm not sure if I'm making some mistakes here or not. I certainly don't want to scare a potential friend awayby calling her to much but I don't want to immediately dismiss someone who has never seen me and may have just got busy or whatever.

So what do you think I should do?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Jukeboxhero

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What...still nothing? Is it too long or something? I would've thought the title would at least be intriguing.

BTW, my friend says use the two call rule...if she doesn't return your calls after you called her twice don't bother with her again.
 

darth yoda

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I definitely wouldn't keep calling her. I think your mistake was not having any concrete plans beforehand.

It's like you talked to her, *suggested* an idea, and when it couldn't work, you guys just gave up (I'll call you back). Be better prepared.

If you do call her one last time, have a specific time and place ready and a backup as well...don't just call and suggest "hanging out".
 

Jukeboxhero

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Originally posted by darth yoda
I definitely wouldn't keep calling her. I think your mistake was not having any concrete plans beforehand.

It's like you talked to her, *suggested* an idea, and when it couldn't work, you guys just gave up (I'll call you back). Be better prepared.

If you do call her one last time, have a specific time and place ready and a backup as well...don't just call and suggest "hanging out".
Yah, your probably right. I think I'll call her one more time. It really shouldn't be that complicated because-- AGAIN, I really just want to be friends. I'm just afraid of calling too much and seeming like I'm obsessed with her or something. Only problem is that, she is really the only female whose freely given me her number and expressed interest in doing something with me. Plus the fact that she actually called me 2x on Saturday night (missed the first call)

So basically I want to know the following things now
1. How long should I wait to call her back?
2. should I mention the times I left a message or told her to call me later but she didn't? Or just act like nothing ever happened.
3. What's a good "first encounter" type scenario? I could go with her to a club/bar (seems to be where she usually goes), invite her to Volleyball group, 1on1 for Coffee-Tea..

Any suggestions?
 
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