Want to approach another girl at the gym and need some pre game advice

[sangheilios]

I recently started seeing this hot woman at the gym last week and first time I saw her I wanted to talk to her. I saw her there today and wanted to approach but she was walking on the treadmill so I didn't think it was a good time. We made eye contact when she first showed up and then when she was on the treadmill we did it a second time, I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything but it appears that she'd be possibly open.

I've approached women at the gym before but nothing ever came of it. The first time I ever did it was last summer, she was actually really into me but was seeing someone, and I had approached another 2 girls there, one in the fall and one the beginning of this year, but they already had bfs. I approached 2 others this summer but both turned out to be massive attention *****s.

Any advice on how I should go about something like this? Before I'd generally just walk up, introduce myself and start a conversation.

 

[marmel75]

Stop caring what the outcome will be. Thats the best piece of advice.

 

[sangheilios]

Stop caring what the outcome will be. Thats the best piece of advice.

Definitely. I was leaning more towards the idea of whether it is better to do the slow game or go for the kill right away if it seems to be going well for me.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Never slow. Why waste time on what may not work out? Plus, women don't become attracted slowly. They know very quickly whether they want you or not.

Not sure what you mean by going for the kill, in this context, but bottom line is you should ask her out. You have nothing to lose.

 

[sangheilios]

Never slow. Why waste time on what may not work out? Plus, women don't become attracted slowly. They know very quickly whether they want you or not.

Not sure what you mean by going for the kill, in this context, but bottom line is you should ask her out. You have nothing to lose.

What I mean is this. Going to the gym regularly and at roughly the same time you will routinely see the same people there. The question is whether or not it is better in a situation like this to ask a woman out the first time you see her or perhaps just approach, talk to her for a bit, let her get back to her workout and then ask her out the next time you see her, talk to her a couple times, etc.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Plus, women don't become attracted slowly. They know very quickly whether they want you or not.

This is not true.
Women are like ovens, they DO warm slowly as they have more to consider.
Men are like blowtorches and are innately driven to seed/fertilize and move on quickly.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I casually flirt with girls at my gym. The best thing to do is to not make it obvious (men project their feelings too much). Start working out on a machine or some weights close to her. Then, in-between sets ask her about her workout, goals, etc. Don't give advice unless she asks. Just talk to her. The gym can be tricky as it's almost like dating at work. Just take things slow. No need to rush into a number close. Soften her up first with a few rounds of conversation over a couple weeks.

 

[sangheilios]

I casually flirt with girls at my gym. The best thing to do is to not make it obvious (men project their feelings too much). Start working out on a machine or some weights close to her. Then, in-between sets ask her about her workout, goals, etc. Don't give advice unless she asks. Just talk to her. The gym can be tricky as it's almost like dating at work. Just take things slow. No need to rush into a number close. Soften her up first with a few rounds of conversation over a couple weeks.

I've approached women at gym before, which I mentioned on the original post, and I typically did fairly well not pushing for too much during the first approach/conversation. Last fall I approached a girl, just walked up to her and said I didn't want to interrupt her workout but wanted to say hi. Anyway, she was a bit awkward so after a very brief interaction I left her alone. Shortly after that she would always go out of her way to walk by me to get my attention, I lost interest because she was weird though.

I totally agree with your comment about it being like dating from work, especially if yo go there regularly. As you said, it might be better for me to just make a genuine approach but try to interact with her a few times to feel her out. Hell, she might be hot but could be weird, a *****, etc.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Women are like ovens, they DO warm slowly as they have more to consider.

I agree that they develop *feelings* slowly, but they know if they are interested in going on a date with you within seconds or minutes of meeting you. I don't want to waste time talking to a girl over the span of weeks before asking her out. Too much work, and in my experience, women like a confident man who goes after what he wants as opposed to a guy who tip-toes around her for a month in hopes of finally getting a clear signal from her that it's ok for him to ask her for her number or ask her on a date. Guys who risk rejection are demonstrating the confidence women are attracted to.

 

[AttackFormation]

I agree that they develop *feelings* slowly, but they know if they are interested in going on a date with you within seconds or minutes of meeting you. I don't want to waste time talking to a girl over the span of weeks before asking her out. Too much work, and in my experience, women like a confident man who goes after what he wants as opposed to a guy who tip-toes around her for a month in hopes of finally getting a clear signal from her that it's ok for him to ask her for her number or ask her on a date. Guys who risk rejection are demonstrating the confidence women are attracted to.

Yep. You don't need to pretend to be He-man and ask them out with your first sentence with a stone face, but there's no point treading water with them. They know who they want to fvck. It really isn't very much about what you "do"... if they want to fvck you, they will help you and make it easy for you. Your job is just to not fvck it up by doing something contrived. That has always been my experience with women, they don't need to be "convinced" to think about sex with you. They already want to or they don't.

 

[Dash Riprock]

women like a confident man who goes after what he wants as opposed to a guy who tip-toes around her for a month in hopes of finally getting a clear signal from her that it's ok for him to ask her for her number or ask her on a date. Guys who risk rejection are demonstrating the confidence women are attracted to.

This is 100% true.

 

[sangheilios]

Stop approaching at your gym.

You have a single digit possibility of it leading to anything substantial. Which means a 90% + possibility of complicating the venue unnecessarily.

Factor in that you say that you"ve done this multiple times, and you are ignoring basic social intelligence enough to possibly recieve a reputation.

It's just basic best practice is that you don't mass approach in such a setting.

Huh? Talking to a grand total of 5 women there in a period of almost a year and half is not exactly what I would consider mass approaching.. You make it sound like I'm approaching every woman that is there lol. The one I approached last summer I haven't seen since January, and the other ones I have approached I very rarely ever see there anymore, like maybe once every couple weeks.

I workout a lot, in really good shape and look good, it makes sense for me to want to find a girl who is like that, which I'm far more likely to find at a gym.

 

[longtail]

Your questions about approaches are answered here:
https://www.sosuave.com/bible/bible.htm