"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Wan't a pick-up line for instant pvssy?

European-DJ

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When you pass a random chick (good looking ofc.), tell her the following;

"I rubbed one out thinking about you today."
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Iceberg

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I'm wet just reading it
 

metoo

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right, probably get you tossed into jail for "stalking" obscenity violation, etc.
 

PokerStar

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"i got some fried chicken underneath my pillow" this line is good if you are into heavier girls.
 

demezel

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ohhhh i have a plastic surgeon back at my place also works for insecure girls.... she'll jump on you d!ck and split it before you know it.......... pfff
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Leporello

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Her: Gross.

That's about the best response you can hope for
 

BigSmooth

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European-DJ said:
When you pass a random chick (good looking ofc.), tell her the following;

"I rubbed one out thinking about you today."
Girl: Wtf...

You: Oh sorry, wrong person. Must have been your more attractive twin.

Girl: I..you're effing weird...

You: Someone's a bit of a grouch today, geez.

Girl: Do I know you?

You: Now you do, the name is [insert your name].


~B-Smooth
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Maximummax

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I saw something like this in dave chappel show
Where he goes to the bar and tries to pick up a chick, but the will be with a friend.
He says you wanna go and watch a movie at my place after they get drunk.
They look at him like they don't care, so he looks at this fat chick and says i got some pizza and she smiles, where as he looks at the other chick and says i got some weed, and then he goes home the two
 

shizz702

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I just want to say that I find you very attractive, and if I had the opportunity to get to know you I would invite you over, and when you come over I'd pull you close and whisper in your ear, "I got a Swanson tv dinner in the freezer with your name on it." Then I would proceed to pour you some Welch's grape juice in a wine glass.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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kidsmooves

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Jack Wealthy said:
I hate it whennewbies disrepect solid routines just cos it doesn't follow some "formula".

Have you actually tried this kidsmooves? Because I can guarantee, there is a 99% probability the girl may come home with you.
The most you can get out op's line is a good laugh. Aint nothing wrong with that though, it could break the ice. But as far as the girl coming home with you nahhh. What random girl is gonna hear that from you as you pass by her and say "OMG, lets go f*ck"

come on now
 

kidsmooves

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San Jose California said:
^agreed, but you're sorta both morons. You for saying it'll work 99% of the time, and kidsmooves for saying it'll never work.
nah dude
 

kidsmooves

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Maximummax said:
I saw something like this in dave chappel show
Where he goes to the bar and tries to pick up a chick, but the will be with a friend.
He says you wanna go and watch a movie at my place after they get drunk.
They look at him like they don't care, so he looks at this fat chick and says i got some pizza and she smiles, where as he looks at the other chick and says i got some weed, and then he goes home the two
here's the vid http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmHbqUb6cww

- pizza? i dont want no pizza
- and some weed too
- weed? iiight

i lol'd so harddd
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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