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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

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And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Wanna date successfully? Date DOWN!!

Velasco

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women want to date up and won't really respect you if you're not superior to her in some way
Right. Things like having your own place, your own car, making more money than her, knowing more things than her. Are some ways that show superiority to a hot girl in her prime (17-20).
settling for Plain Jane isn't going to do anything except make you wish you had a hotter GF/wife.
Yeah. Been there done that with a plain Jane. Not even what CheekyMonkey101 is talking about above with the 'spoiling' was enough to keep me from cheating on them and treating them like sh1t.

When you have a hot girl. You want to keep them around. That's not to say you spoil them same as an ugly girl would to you (cause her to take u for granted), but that means going on dates, fvcking her multiple rounds each time, and being loyal. Aren't things you feel like you HAVE to do. But because you WANT to. Plain Jane ain't gonna make me want to do any of that
 

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Solomon

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This is such a loser mindset i cant even
When I was dating the ugliest women in my life was when I was broke and out of shape
Once I got in shape and my money got better the women got better as well.... coincidence? I don't think so
I get what OP is saying you get in where you fit in, however if you want better you gotta step your life game up
 

pipeman84

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Every man wants a hb8,5 whose loyal,easygoing ect. Unfortunately that's NOT realistic. I've learned that through trail and error.
Another one who didn't get that memo: Odell Beckham Jr
A 31yrs old pro athlete dating a 43yrs old mom of 4 with 3 ex husbands, one of which is insane? Are you fvcking kidding me? I wouldn't fvck an escort if I knew she has 4 kids. And this guy is dating her? o_O
There are some really weird people out there.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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A 31yrs old pro athlete dating a 43yrs old mom of 4 with 3 ex husbands, one of which is insane? Are you fvcking kidding me? I wouldn't fvck an escort if I knew she has 4 kids. And this guy is dating her? o_O
That's why I think a lot of the theories about SMV and rating women on aesthetics is detrimental to a seducer's mindset.
Just pursue the women you're attracted to.
Only the media likes to present us with theories how we can increase our attractiveness by using product XYZ, but in reality attraction is too intangible to be codified and manipulated.
 

BeExcellent

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Ah yes. Famous song rooted in Carribean culture:


This wisdom has been around for awhile.
 

Black Widow Void

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"Dating down" should only be at bar closing time... when you're drunk and she looks better than your hand.

Surrendering any part of your freedom (for more than one night) to that which is considered "low hanging fruit" should never be an option.
 

CornbreadFed

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OP is not advising men to date unattractive women; rather, suggesting that they consider lowering their expectations by 1-2 points to successfully engage in relationships. If a man finds himself dating unattractive women, it may indicate his own lack of attractiveness or a tendency towards laziness or passivity. With effort, any man can improve his attractiveness to a range between 7 and 8.5, making dating a woman rated between 6 and 8 not an association with unattractiveness by any definition.

Ultimately, raw physical attraction forms the foundation and stability of any relationship. Without it, the relationship may collapse unexpectedly. The resistance to this idea seems to come from older Millennials and members of Generation X who grew up without the dominance of social media and swipe apps in the dating scene & taking advantage of the previous fading legal guardianship world. In the past, individuals could temporarily date more attractive partners by leveraging factors such as status, wealth, social connections, timing, or being the first choice. However, these relationships often lack lasting power due to the absence of genuine physical attraction from the female partner's perspective. Gen Z does not have the benefit of the doubt of experiencing these types of relationships because they grew up with social media & swipe apps.

It's important to recognize that the female partner is not oblivious to the man's perceived lack of attractiveness or his shortcomings. Constant questioning from others about why she is with him can undermine the relationship's stability and cause insecurity.
 

Millard Fillmore

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Hmm down according to whom?

If according to society then it's a collection of individual opinions, all of which are subjective and varied. Not healthy to do things because others say so.

If according to numero uno then it's either ascribing value up or down based on random qualities and putting her or yourself on a pedestal. Again not wise. And again "society" may disagree.

I guess I get the spirit of the OP, she'll supposedly be more compliant. But that shouldn't be a problem if you have frame. And if she isn't compliant (strays etc) that's also not a problem for a guy with frame. So my take is date the women that give you boners.
 

Pandora

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There's fat,ugly and there's HOT.

In between there are still plenty of layers..

But hey, that's the purpose of this thread. A critical look back at ones dating life .from the 10 women you've encountered, how nany of them did YOU reject to see if there's " something better ".


Let me ask ya: how does this mindset of having high standards works out so far? Perhaps you are missing out on something nice because you want a hot woman whose loyal and yadiya aka one that doesn't exist in YOUR reality. Perhaps plane Jane was your solution all that time

But here ya are, on a seduction forum where men share how to get women in the year 2001( still dre).
Yeh brother. That mindset of there is something better almost destroyed me. I could have been married with kids now to a decently behaved slightly chubby chick many times. Or a butter face. I passed them up and until my fiance found nothing but trash.

We blame women for fomo but us men do the same thing.
 

CornbreadFed

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I guess I get the spirit of the OP, she'll supposedly be more compliant. But that shouldn't be a problem if you have frame. And if she isn't compliant (strays etc) that's also not a problem for a guy with frame. So my take is date the women that give you boners.
You aren't going to attract a girl with just frame alone and frame can fluctuate. Let's say you got a hotter girl by niche maxxing and being the only available option at the time, and your frame becomes soft due to life stress or something. She is likely to either start acting masculine or leave you on the spot.
 

Millard Fillmore

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You aren't going to attract a girl with just frame alone and frame can fluctuate. Let's say you got a hotter girl by niche maxxing and being the only available option at the time, and your frame becomes soft due to life stress or something. She is likely to either start acting masculine or leave you on the spot.
I didn't say frame alone is for attracting women, although it's a small part of it. Frame is for being true to yourself and not being afraid to lose something. Any time it becomes soft that's an issue which goes to the point.
 

ThisIsSparta

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So what you guys are saying is.....

a man, looking for a LTR/wife that rates himself (lets say) an 8 and is dating down to a 6.5 or 7 is basically dating an ugly woman/scraping the bottom of the barrel and therefore a loser. Because, he is supposed to be doing "whatever it takes" to get what YOU deem to be a 9.5.

The delusion is real amongst you, "players".
 

BPH

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What's with this forum lately?

First you get guys saying they don't use condoms because they filter out sluts and "can just tell"...

Now we have a thread about "dating down" and "within your league" if you want to be happy long term?

This just seems like cope for people who aren't willing to self-improve to the point where they're able to get the women they want. When I go out to the bar, I don't look for ugly bitches that I think I can pull "because I'm hotter", I look for the girls that I want, and then I either close or I don't. **** this "settling" bull****.

Let me tell you a story...

When I was in 8th grade I was very unpopular; I was skinny, didn't know how to dress well, didn't play sports, didn't have too many friends, and people thought I might be gay because I hadn't kissed a girl yet. There was a girl who transferred to our school and word got out that she had a crush on me. EVERYBODY lost their **** and were constantly coming up to me telling me I should ask her out. I didn't find her attractive, I said no.

They all thought I was CRAZY! Somebody actually likes BPH and he's rejecting HER?!

Yeah...so instead I began working out, started playing football, got out of my comfort zone to cold approach girls and get better at talking to them, surrounded myself with friends that had traits I wanted in myself, and if you've read my journal or seen my notch count mentioned, I think I do pretty well these days.

Absolutely **** this defeatest-ass "settle if you want to be happy" BS.
 

CornbreadFed

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This just seems like cope for people who aren't willing to self-improve to the point where they're able to get the women they want. When I go out to the bar, I don't look for ugly bitches that I think I can pull "because I'm hotter", I look for the girls that I want, and then I either close or I don't. **** this "settling" bull****.
You are not getting the full picture. If you are naturally attracting unattractive women, then you need practice self-improvement. The whole goal is to be at a point where a 7-8 is considered below your standards and manageable. 9-10s are not dateable and for monetization or street use only regardless of the male. The guys punching above their weight or dating a 9 and above are in losing positions outside having a hot girl. Frame is variable, relying on frame and external factors is like living in a house of cards. For a girl to submit you fully and maintain her femineity, you need that strong physical attraction from her.
 
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FlexpertHamilton

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This is only partially true. Though, perhaps what applies to average to below average men doesn't apply to higher SMV men. Reason I say this, is that in my experience and the experience of a couple of my high SMV friends, when we date down, we tend to have miserable experiences. Mid women are far more entitled and delusional and overall more bvtchy than hot women, who tend to be much nicer (although hot women also do tend to be more crazy).

I do think some of that might be inferiority complex/ego based. Maybe a less attractive women in the 3-5 range is happy to get with a 5-6 guy and so this trend I described doesn't apply to her. I think "mid" girls are the most entitled and delusional because they actually get even more attention from men than hot women do.

If we're talking about wives though, yeah marrying a 9 or 10, maybe even an 8 is a bad idea unless you're a legit 10 yourself in which case you probably aren't looking for marriage. If you're an 8 or 9, you should probably marry a 7 or 8. If you're a 7, marrying an 8 or 9 is a disaster waiting to happen.
 
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