Walking Away even after being dumped?

[Mike41090]

I understand the ultimate power move on a female (for the most part) is straight up dumping her and never talking to her or bringing her up again, which I can completely agree with because I’ve seen the effect it has on a lot of girls. But my question is, if you were the one dumped, is it still a power move to immediately walk away and never speak to her again? This may have already been brought up on previous threads but I figured I’d try and zero in on the question, thanks.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Who gives a rat's ass what type of move it is, you got dumped, move on, it's over. If she decides to contact you back and you want her back then we can have a discussion. If a girl is doing the dumping then that means she has found a secure dude to lock on. Whether it goes south or not, who cares.

 

[Georgepithyou]

She tried turning me into an orbiter, but I said "I'm not interested in being your friend". I told her that I hope she is right with her quick judgement as I am not going to talk to her again after the conversation was over.

They always want to turn you into an orbiter after a breakup, gotta get that free non sexual attention

 

[Dash Riprock]

I understand the ultimate power move on a female (for the most part) is straight up dumping her and never talking to her or bringing her up again, which I can completely agree with because I’ve seen the effect it has on a lot of girls. But my question is, if you were the one dumped, is it still a power move to immediately walk away and never speak to her again? This may have already been brought up on previous threads but I figured I’d try and zero in on the question, thanks.

Even MORE important to walk away if you got dumped. Go 100% NC, 3x reply time time though I recommend not replying. 99% of the time second chance relationships don't work out even if you're the one who f*cked up.

Communicating with her will just prolong your attachment, negative emotions and for some, agony.

ALWAYS easier to just start over with a new girl.

 

[Mike41090]

I’ve been dumped twice in the last few years. The first one, didn’t really bother me that much and I felt that she dumped me simply because I wasn’t reciprocating (when in reality, I just needed some time, and I was actually starting to like her more). Once I started to like her more and actually saw it possibly being a relationship (I never voiced this to her, just to myself), she stated she wasn’t looking for anything serious, I stated me neither and I’m glad we’re on the same page. I was a little bummed out but never reached out nor did she. But check this out, I run into her a month later at a local bar that’s pretty packed, I’m hanging w my friends and I see her floating around me and looking at me, and I’m just thinking to myself, what is she doing lol. She then proceeds to make out with some guy literally right in front of me. I simply do not respond or react. I find out later she immediately started hooking up with him a week or two after we stopped seeing each other, and thier social media official. Wasn’t really bothered by it because I personally know the guy she started seeing and I was positive it would of never worked out more than a few months, which it didn’t. But I felt she went through all of this to get back at me, and I still didn’t flinch. Just goes to show the extent some people will go when you walk away in a sense. Now looking back, I’m glad I never got into a relationship w her lol

 

[manfrombelow]

But my question is, if you were the one dumped, is it still a power move to immediately walk away and never speak to her again?

Walking away AFTER BEING DUMPED is your ONLY LOGICAL CHOICE TO DO. I mean, what else can you do in that kind of situation?

So it's not about a "power move", it's about common sense. When somebody wants to get rid of you from their life, you walk away.

 

[Mike41090]

I completely agree with it being the most logical choice, and that’s how I go about it regardless of how I feel in the aftermath. Simply put, it’s the ONLY common sense answer there is. But as we see time and time again with a lot of posters on the site, and a million other guys, 99 percent of guys can’t COMPLETELY walk away w zero radio silence. Even though it is the only common sense things to do.

 

[Romanemp22]

Is this even a question? It's the only thing you need to do after being dumped, saying OK cool and calling the next girl you've been talking to

 

[King Lion]

I understand the ultimate power move on a female (for the most part) is straight up dumping her and never talking to her or bringing her up again, which I can completely agree with because I’ve seen the effect it has on a lot of girls. But my question is, if you were the one dumped, is it still a power move to immediately walk away and never speak to her again? This may have already been brought up on previous threads but I figured I’d try and zero in on the question, thanks.

I think so....I may have read this here somewhere: "If they don't appreciate what you bring to the table - Let them eat alone."

 

[PRW63]

I have been on both sides. I have never had to "walk away", or ignore, or "shun" anyone. I'm on good terms with all I have ever dated. With some I never see because our lives just never cross. It isn't by design, it is the what it is. Others I still am around on occasion socially because we have an overlap in our social circles. No drama, no one is pining for the other, no one is wringing their hands over anything, everyone is fine.

 

[Mike41090]

Agreed. If you chase her after she dumps you then you're fuked. She'll never come back.

If you don't react then she'll likely be back. Women want to see you destroy yourself when they dump you. If you don't chase then it ruins her ego.

That’s kinda the pinpoint of my question. When I’m done with someone whether it be dumping or getting dumped I completely vanish and do my own thing. And I’m with everyone on going after other girls the second your not in a relationship. But I’ve also seen the effect I’ve had on girls who I either ghosted or dumped, and I can basically hit them up whenever. Was always curious if there was a general consensus when the opposite goes down.

 

[Serenity]

Regardless of who breaks up I have a strict policy that when it's over, it's over! I don't get hung up on the ego stuff, I just personally can't tolerate hot and cold BS. If she's not all in, I'm all out. I want to go all in, but I have to protect my heart, so the moment she shows she's not at that level she can fvck off for all I care...

I'm not fvcking around, if she is then I'm not interested.

 

[Serenity]

It's a bit different when a girl breaks up with a guy.

A girl only ever breaks up with a guy when she thinks she can do better, and most of the time she has already tested that out and has a new guy lined up.

When a guy dumps a girl he might tap her up for easy sex in the future, knowing the girl is still pining for him. String her along etc.
But if the girl dumped you then she's much less likely to do that because her attraction/respect for you is so low. Girls want to fvck guys that are above her, and if she dumped you then you're way below her (in her opinion).

With all due respect, this type of thinking is a waste of energy. All we as men have to care about is our perspective as men, who cares why she does what she does? It's out of our control, all we need to know is what to do when she does X. Why she does it is secondary. If we as men can overcome the need to know, we will come far and move on a lot more easily.

If she's not in, I'm not in. Fvck why!

 

[TheProspect]

With all due respect, this type of thinking is a waste of energy. All we as men have to care about is our perspective as men, who cares why she does what she does? It's out of our control, all we need to know is what to do when she does X. Why she does it is secondary. If we as men can overcome the need to know, we will come far and move on a lot more easily.

If she's not in, I'm not in. Fvck why!

I agree with you,

When you get dumped by a chick, not much need to bring up why hypergamy evolved in female hindbrains thousands of years ago when we were all in primal hunter-gathering tribes on the plains of Africa lol.

Too much theory is often espoused in place of practical and actionable advice. If you have an analytical mind, it can be interesting to dissect the "why" as Pan87 pointed out, but as you both mentioned many guys waste too much energy on the "why" instead of taking the next necessary steps.

It's kind of like learning while doing. You can try to understand a certain type of math all you want, and it may even be somewhat necessary to know the "why" in order to master that particular math, but often we just need to get the formula first that others provide us with, and then experiment through repetition and repetition and eventually both the why and how will come to us.

If I didn't make sense it's because I've been drinking but it sounded good in my head so have a great night boys.

 

[Mike41090]

Some guys like to break things down, pull them apart, and see how it all works. A bit like an engineer. Nothing wrong with that.

There's definitely an issue when guys agonize over the "why" and don't accept female nature, so I agree with you there. But if it's purely for the sake of studying women's hypergamy and how it works, then I think it's a good thing. Knowledge is power and helps a guy plan in advance.

I’m not sure if I was clear enough in my initial question, but Pan87’s response is what I’m getting at. Basically just to get an idea on the other side of the coin so to speak. That’s it, nothing more. I like to try and look at all angles in a sense.

 

[RedScorpion]

I'd say it's generally a power move, even if you're the one that's getting dumped. Though it is better to be the one saying 'I'm done'. It's not so much the act of who does the dumping . It comes down to how you handle yourself during and after the breakup. If you suck up to her, or cry, trying to fix things - the respect just shoots down for her. She didn't come to you trying to work things out, or resolve things. She wanted to end it - so the best thing you can do is go 'Ok', and leave her on her own.

Like Serenity said, I have a similar view towards 'She's not in, I'm not in'. I used to spend a lot of time in my younger days dissecting a girl's actions. 'What did she mean by this?', 'Maybe she's upset about this', and other in-depth analysis. Eventually I realized that when it comes down to a situation like this, either a girl is working on your side with you, or she's working against you. Sometimes you can adjust for momentary stresses, but I think you can decide when that applies.

Here's a thought experiment you can go through. You're dating this girl, and for whatever reason, it's not working out. She's gotten annoying, clingy, neurotic, or you think she's not long-term relationship material - whichever. You break up with her. In one option, she breaks down crying, 'Why are you breaking up with me?', throwing a fit. Calls you horrible names, tries to put you down. The break up has gone from 'Alright, let's break up' to 'Geez this person is nuts'. She shows that she valued you to such a degree that she's lost control, embarrassed herself, and gone to extremes to try and bring you down. Showing the emotional depth it reaches to. It gives you all the further justification you needed for breaking up, and if there was any future pangs of 'What if you two stayed together, or got back together in the future?' - you just have to think of that last moment. Especially as the final memory of that person.

Alternate story, she goes 'Ok, let's break up', and it's relatively painless. She goes her way, you go yours. She shows that she's not going to degrade herself to desperately save a relationship that's done. You wanted it done - well, it's done, and that's ok. Possibly you may respect her in how she handled the ending steps of the relationship, and possibly that may open something in the future (if you wanted). You know that she won't turn into a crazy person, and thus it's safer to re-engage her.

This is not guaranteed, as there might be a strong underlying reason for the break up. And you might never meet or talk again. But the ending and how it's handled is a factor.

Overall, my opinion is that how you handle yourself as the breakup occurs and after is far more important than who decided it. Yes, having her get to the point of her deciding 'I don't want to be with this guy anymore' is a negative, but not making a fool of yourself in trying to save it, may raise it to 'huh, maybe I made a mistake...'. I'd go to even say that handling it smoothly brings up thoughts of 'Why weren't they upset? Why didn't they try to save it? Was I not worth it?'. I think it turns it from an initial one-sided dumping, to a mutual agreement. That's where you can draw the 'power' from.

 

[RickPound]

I'd say it's generally a power move, even if you're the one that's getting dumped. Though it is better to be the one saying 'I'm done'. It's not so much the act of who does the dumping . It comes down to how you handle yourself during and after the breakup. If you suck up to her, or cry, trying to fix things - the respect just shoots down for her. She didn't come to you trying to work things out, or resolve things. She wanted to end it - so the best thing you can do is go 'Ok', and leave her on her own.

Like Serenity said, I have a similar view towards 'She's not in, I'm not in'. I used to spend a lot of time in my younger days dissecting a girl's actions. 'What did she mean by this?', 'Maybe she's upset about this', and other in-depth analysis. Eventually I realized that when it comes down to a situation like this, either a girl is working on your side with you, or she's working against you. Sometimes you can adjust for momentary stresses, but I think you can decide when that applies.

Here's a thought experiment you can go through. You're dating this girl, and for whatever reason, it's not working out. She's gotten annoying, clingy, neurotic, or you think she's not long-term relationship material - whichever. You break up with her. In one option, she breaks down crying, 'Why are you breaking up with me?', throwing a fit. Calls you horrible names, tries to put you down. The break up has gone from 'Alright, let's break up' to 'Geez this person is nuts'. She shows that she valued you to such a degree that she's lost control, embarrassed herself, and gone to extremes to try and bring you down. Showing the emotional depth it reaches to. It gives you all the further justification you needed for breaking up, and if there was any future pangs of 'What if you two stayed together, or got back together in the future?' - you just have to think of that last moment. Especially as the final memory of that person.

Alternate story, she goes 'Ok, let's break up', and it's relatively painless. She goes her way, you go yours. She shows that she's not going to degrade herself to desperately save a relationship that's done. You wanted it done - well, it's done, and that's ok. Possibly you may respect her in how she handled the ending steps of the relationship, and possibly that may open something in the future (if you wanted). You know that she won't turn into a crazy person, and thus it's safer to re-engage her.

This is not guaranteed, as there might be a strong underlying reason for the break up. And you might never meet or talk again. But the ending and how it's handled is a factor.

Overall, my opinion is that how you handle yourself as the breakup occurs and after is far more important than who decided it. Yes, having her get to the point of her deciding 'I don't want to be with this guy anymore' is a negative, but not making a fool of yourself in trying to save it, may raise it to 'huh, maybe I made a mistake...'. I'd go to even say that handling it smoothly brings up thoughts of 'Why weren't they upset? Why didn't they try to save it? Was I not worth it?'. I think it turns it from an initial one-sided dumping, to a mutual agreement. That's where you can draw the 'power' from.

This, even if you have to fake it. I’ve experienced all these scenarios and they are what you want. The best possible outcomes for the man. You can hit her back up if you dumped her, and you maximize her respect for you if you were dumped.

 

[RickPound]

Also, in a current situation (not LTR mind you), she ended it and I said “ok, that’s fine” or something to that nature and didn’t reach out. 2 days later she was back over naked on my bed. Still hooking up and recently she blamed it on hormones with her cycle.
If I chased or cried, things would probably be different right now

 

[manfrombelow]

Also, in a current situation (not LTR mind you), she ended it and I said “ok, that’s fine” or something to that nature and didn’t reach out. 2 days later she was back over naked on my bed. Still hooking up and recently she blamed it on hormones with her cycle.
If I chased or cried, things would probably be different right now

The fact you didn't finch made you the unmovable rock in her eyes, that's why her pvssy got wet. And that's why what happened happened.

And the fact she tried to blamed it on hormones and sh!t made me laugh. Typical female behaviour. Always blaming. Always making up BS excuses to justify their sh!tty behaviours.

 

[Serenity]

Some guys like to break things down, pull them apart, and see how it all works. A bit like an engineer. Nothing wrong with that.

Fair point, I have done that as long as I can remember with all kinds of things. I have a burning curiosity about how the world works, but I'm also extremely rigorous what anything takes to be true.

Has led to me to some less desirable paths in life, none of which I regret, but I know for sure what I know.

It's kind of like learning while doing. You can try to understand a certain type of math all you want, and it may even be somewhat necessary to know the "why" in order to master that particular math, but often we just need to get the formula first that others provide us with, and then experiment through repetition and repetition and eventually both the why and how will come to us.

Math is one of my strengths that school was never able to pull out of me. I learned much of that by my own motivation to achieve things in video games, strange as it may be. I learned a lot of it by trial and error, just by practicing it. Until that point I failed to see why I needed it, because school failed to give me a reason that I cared about. Having good reason is a strong motivation. If we can give that to the less knowledgeable of our members then we have succeeded.

If I didn't make sense it's because I've been drinking but it sounded good in my head so have a great night boys.

Either I understand it because I'm drunk too or you actually made sense. I'm leaning towards the latter. I can relate, It's a good point.