"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Walk?

zerocelcius

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Been with GF for a 'lil over a year Exclusive Most of the year.

Somewhere in the last few months I have become her Emotional Tampon, and I told her I wasn't going to do it anymore. I told her I needed space. Since then she has bent over backward to try to fix the things she thinks were the Problem (which wern't). I told her it was the constant drama and I was done.

She calls all the time, and says she can't wait for me to be done with my space...(not myspace)! I did want space, but now I think I am finished. 'cause when she calls it is cool at first ..."how was your day'....*crash & burn*...." From that moment it is DRAMA DRAMA... Work Drama, Family Drama, etc.

Besides all the drama everything is cool and we are great friends. The problem is the Drama. I can't take it and I have been upfront about the issue. Not sure if she understands or just dosn't care. What do you guys suggest?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Phyzzle

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Frankly, I think you have to put up with listening to some drama. It's the same with any girl: she wants to tell you how her day was, and a lot of things during that day will be annoying crap.

when she calls it is cool at first ..."how was your day'....*crash & burn*...." From that moment it is DRAMA DRAMA... Work Drama, Family Drama, etc.
Maybe she lives a dramatic life! First off, STOP letting real conversations happen by phone. She wants to say something, she can say it in person. (That way, she'll only remember half of it.)

I don't think you had it so bad with this chick. You can make a joke out of it: get a little 15 minute hourglass, "okay, you can vent until the sands run out."

Guys here complain about being an emotional tampon, but that's ONLY when she's trying to whine about other guys (so she doesn't have to whine to them.) But she's not doing that. Part of being close to a female is listening to her vent, and saying "uh huh, okay". Within reason. If she's talking too much, start summing up the drama in 3 sentence soundbites, and saying "see, you can say this stuff faster."

I don't see any nextable offense here. Hope this helps.
 

WORKEROUTER

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Taking space was the wrong way to go about this. Women take space. Men just dump em.

Listen, most all women are annoying. I have very seldom found a girl who wasn't annoying, and if she was, she wasn't attractice, which sucks.

Take my gf. She's a talker. Sometimes she might try to talk about stupid sh*t that's going on. What do I do? I CHANGE THE SUBJECT. If she doesn't get the point, I'll even tell her explicitly that I'm tired of listening to her problems. I'll tell her to go chill with her girlfriends for a while then come back and talk to me.

If she keeps on doing it, I'll either leave, ignore her, or if we're on the phone, not even hold it up (she knows I do this if she starts talking too much).

It might seem like I'm being a jerk occasionally, and maybe I am, but at least I don't have to listen to stupid sh*t!!

It doesn't mean that I don't listen to her, of course. If she is really going through something, then I'll be the most supportive person ever. But not for everyday, over-reacting, bullsh*t that is so common amongst women. She can take that to her girlfriends (or her loser guy tampon "friends").

Point is you have to train your gf not to be annoying. You must understand that most women are innately annoying to men. From my own experience, your gf will actually appreciate being put in line.
 

zerocelcius

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Thanks for the personal insights!

Worker.. I disagree with the men dump, girls take space thing. I don't throw something away unless I know I want to throw it away. I believe stepping out of the relationship has done me wonders on taking a look at the big picture.

Phyzzle.. A lot of the drama is about her ex. (babies daddy)! He is using me for a target to get to her and she just keeps antagonizing him. There was absolutely no drama when we first started going out. Than with in the last few months she filed court papers, etc...

Do I stand my ground and deal with it if she makes me happy, or walk away from the drama "there are plenty of fish in the sea"?
 

unorthodox

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HEY. Here is a simple example from David D. Adopt it to every whichever fvcking drama she throws at you.


HER: I hate it when my ex looks at other women.
YOU: I'm just like your ex, I look at other women all the time (I do the same thing too).
HER: What?
YOU: That's right..... Every man is like that... You not very experienced with men, are you...... How your day? (change subject)


Picture you and her standing face to face, 10 feet apart, she throws shyt at you, you catch it with both hands, swing it around you and throw it at her.. Soooo powerful.

She finds faults with her somebody, tell her I'm the same way, or I do the same thing. Then attack the bytch and generalize, all men are like that, we all do this, you don't know a lot about men do you. Before you dump her, fix this drama problem using this method. A) You might get a good relationship with her and maybe more. B) You will learn how not to be an emotional tampon, thus you doing yourself a favor.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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RaWBLooD

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just dont listen to it, the hell is so hard about that?
"her and *drama*"
you : im busy i gotta go.
 

zerocelcius

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RaWBLooD said:
just dont listen to it, the hell is so hard about that?
"her and *drama*"
you : im busy i gotta go.

Thats what I did .... Walked!
 
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