Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Violent Self Control

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
So during this weekend I was hanging out with my GF and her friend who I also call my 2nd GF as a semi joke.... we were sitting in an NYC park and this guy was going around the park bothering people but indirectly and then move on to another section of the park. Anyway... this guy starts being weird behind me and my 2 girls which made me feel uncomfortable and I said "Let's get the fvck out of her to another bench". As we're walking off, the guy starts following us and comes up to me and says "You good bro? you good?" I looked him dead in his eyes and said "Yeah I'm good...." With my right hand ready to start swinging if he got too close.... He was hesitant to say anything else and walked off but afterwards, I was filled with rage because I wanted to stab him in the chest and take his life for stepping to me like that.

I usually carry a very sharp folding USMC military knife in my pocket that's about 9" long. Part of me wanted to kill this fcvker but another part of me says to calm down because if I did anything like that, my life would be downhill as I could go to jail for a long time if I ended up killing someone and it was found not to be self defense. How do you handle this internal rage with things like this. I feel people like this deserve it. I don't want to hurt you, I want to take your life.

How to handle this?
 

Lookatu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
3,138
Reaction score
3,960
Age
51
The fact that you removed yourself from that situation by moving to a different bench and then not instigating anything when the guy just asked you a simple question, you did the right thing by maintaining control.

Just remember in today's society, you have the most to lose over the homeless/mental/crazy guy. It's not worth getting a lawsuit filed over some pieces of $hit.

Feeling rage or feeling triggered is normal in those situations. You just have to train yourself to keep your composure. Just like with anything, the more you encounter this stuff, the easier it will get.

I get panhandlers and crazies coming up to me all the time in the parks, subways, etc. It doesn't phase me anymore these days but just like you, it did before. If they try to escalate, what I do sometimes is fight crazy with crazy. I'll pretend I'm just as crazy if not more crazier than them. Or you can just play the aloof California high on weed surfer dude mentality. That can work too.
 

Mister_Skinny_Jeanz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
521
Reaction score
425
Age
31
So during this weekend I was hanging out with my GF and her friend who I also call my 2nd GF as a semi joke.... we were sitting in an NYC park and this guy was going around the park bothering people but indirectly and then move on to another section of the park. Anyway... this guy starts being weird behind me and my 2 girls which made me feel uncomfortable and I said "Let's get the fvck out of her to another bench". As we're walking off, the guy starts following us and comes up to me and says "You good bro? you good?" I looked him dead in his eyes and said "Yeah I'm good...." With my right hand ready to start swinging if he got too close.... He was hesitant to say anything else and walked off but afterwards, I was filled with rage because I wanted to stab him in the chest and take his life for stepping to me like that.

I usually carry a very sharp folding USMC military knife in my pocket that's about 9" long. Part of me wanted to kill this fcvker but another part of me says to calm down because if I did anything like that, my life would be downhill as I could go to jail for a long time if I ended up killing someone and it was found not to be self defense. How do you handle this internal rage with things like this. I feel people like this deserve it. I don't want to hurt you, I want to take your life.

How to handle this?
you could have told him to fvck off and stop following you and MEAN IT. but the way you handled was good, usually these homeless losers have nothing to lose, so if you dance with them be ready to take it there.
 

redskinsfan92

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 18, 2018
Messages
1,870
Reaction score
1,485
Age
31
Gotta be careful with homeless guys. They are usually homeless due to mental health issues. Combine that with nothing to lose and that's a nasty recipe.

Hell, just one issue they often have is f'd up teeth. Tooth pain can be quiet serious and make one forget all reason.
 

Gstring

Banned
Joined
Dec 27, 2020
Messages
169
Reaction score
108
Age
36
Religion is not what you think it is. Forgive others. What do you think that is about? People get triggered all the time.
 

FuzzX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2021
Messages
635
Reaction score
391
Age
43
If I lived in the states I'd have an Uzi and a Bullpup on me at all times. You have homeless that are broke, here in Canada we have homeless that CHOOSE to be homeless, they're even worse. Not to mention our police force has been neutered and won't deal with the problem of these violent pieces of sh1t.

We have one rat fvck here in town who picks a fight with me whenever he sees me. He always tries it when people are around. The best thing you can do is leave because like others have said, the feminist 5-0 will show up to arrest you for hurting the piece of sh1t. He did it right in traffic when I was with my elderly mother, rode right up to our car and called me out. I asked my mother to pull away and I walked down near an alley and told him to come over, of course he wouldn't. These ****heads just want attention and they want to sue your ass... they wouldn't do that if they were by themselves in a dark alley.
 
Last edited:

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,734
Reaction score
6,666
Age
66
Location
The 7th Dimension
OP, your real problem is that in your own words, you don't just want to hurt him; you want to kill him.

I have no problem with hurting some scumbag who is bothering me (for the purpose of teaching a lesson), but if that anger rises to the desire to murder, that's something to be concerned about.

The only way I can see to handle this (you did ask how to handle this), is some kind of counseling to discover why your reaction is so extreme.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
you could have told him to fvck off and stop following you and MEAN IT. but the way you handled was good, usually these homeless losers have nothing to lose, so if you dance with them be ready to take it there.
This dude didnt look like he was homeless but maybe mentally off? I don't know but I didn't like how he came up to me.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
OP, your real problem is that in your own words, you don't just want to hurt him; you want to kill him.

I have no problem with hurting some scumbag who is bothering me (for the purpose of teaching a lesson), but if that anger rises to the desire to murder, that's something to be concerned about.

The only way I can see to handle this (you did ask how to handle this), is some kind of counseling to discover why your reaction is so extreme.
I guess because I don't want them to have a chance at retaliating back and hurting/killing me. What really triggered me was how he came up to me and tried to press me in front of the girls I'm with,... all i could think was "This guy is looking like he's about to swing and I'm going to want to stab him in the chest".

Part of my self control is due to the questions that quickly race in my mind in a situation like this...
  • This unknown person could be a serious threat and I may have to fight to the death.
  • They could be carrying a weapon or a knife, putting my life in danger. I need to take them out before they take me out.
  • If I hurt someone really bad to the point of death... Would I go to jail and ruin my life.
  • Is it worth fighting this person who has nothing to lose.
 

Lookatu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
3,138
Reaction score
3,960
Age
51
Kinda miss the times of "patriarchy" the real one, when a decent man was allowed to deal with scum with the necessary means.
Fist fights died off when pvssies came up with lawsuits to equalize the playing field for them. I remember it was still going on until the early 90's without too much reprocussions. I'm just glad I was able to get in a few of them in HS...
 

FuzzX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2021
Messages
635
Reaction score
391
Age
43
You should also ask yourself, are these women worth dying for? If it was your wife, daughter or mother of course, you would react with the fury of a thousand suns. If you have to pause and go "is this worth it?", it's not.
 

Mister_Skinny_Jeanz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
521
Reaction score
425
Age
31
This dude didnt look like he was homeless but maybe mentally off? I don't know but I didn't like how he came up to me.
man i feell you and i wouldnt like it either, i would probably say something along the lines of ''no im not good, stop following me ''
you get these lil *******s from time to time that see guys with girls so they wanna ''amog'' you just keep it in your head ''i aint gonna take no bull**** from no men today when im out with my girls''
 

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2012
Messages
7,545
Reaction score
5,898
You should also ask yourself, are these women worth dying for? If it was your wife, daughter or mother of course, you would react with the fury of a thousand suns. If you have to pause and go "is this worth it?", it's not.
Definitely not, thats why we dont actually "fight" to protect them or save their dignity...we fight cause an other men tried to belittle us and direspected us, no one really cares about the woman deep down.
 

Mister_Skinny_Jeanz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
521
Reaction score
425
Age
31
Definitely not, thats why we dont actually "fight" to protect them or save their dignity...we fight cause an other men tried to belittle us and direspected us, no one really cares about the woman deep down.
well its both, imagine a feminine , submissive sexy girl that really likes you, you dont want some ******* coming around disrespecting , making her feel unsafe now you guys go home and you can feel something in her is off , she lost respect and attraction because she no longer feels safe with you
 

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2012
Messages
7,545
Reaction score
5,898
well its both, imagine a feminine , submissive sexy girl that really likes you, you dont want some ******* coming around disrespecting , making her feel unsafe now you guys go home and you can feel something in her is off , she lost respect and attraction because she no longer feels safe with you
Again what pisses you off its the personal damage you got out of that interaction, not her feelings.

No one really cares about the woman but only the conseguences of being disrespected.

Its very rare for us to genuinely being concerned about a woman emotional intimacy regardless the outcome for us.
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,497
Reaction score
2,630
So during this weekend I was hanging out with my GF and her friend who I also call my 2nd GF as a semi joke.... we were sitting in an NYC park and this guy was going around the park bothering people but indirectly and then move on to another section of the park. Anyway... this guy starts being weird behind me and my 2 girls which made me feel uncomfortable and I said "Let's get the fvck out of her to another bench". As we're walking off, the guy starts following us and comes up to me and says "You good bro? you good?" I looked him dead in his eyes and said "Yeah I'm good...." With my right hand ready to start swinging if he got too close.... He was hesitant to say anything else and walked off but afterwards, I was filled with rage because I wanted to stab him in the chest and take his life for stepping to me like that.

I usually carry a very sharp folding USMC military knife in my pocket that's about 9" long. Part of me wanted to kill this fcvker but another part of me says to calm down because if I did anything like that, my life would be downhill as I could go to jail for a long time if I ended up killing someone and it was found not to be self defense. How do you handle this internal rage with things like this. I feel people like this deserve it. I don't want to hurt you, I want to take your life.

How to handle this?
You removed yourself from the situation, which shows social awareness and to some extent self-control. So that's a good start.

You also didn't physically escalate when he talked to you, that's also good. So let's start with giving yourself some credit.

Now for the difficult part, if the guy would have escalated it and said something else, you could have ended up in a fight or killing the guy. Unless you can definitely prove it was self-defense, there is preferably a video of it (since it was in public), and you can prove your life and the lives of your girls were at risk then you can get away with it. However, it is all circumstantial and you can potentially end up in jail either way.

Now think about this for a second the next time this happens, try to imagine your life in jail. All the things you will lose and the hell you will go through. Take a deep breath and never react right away. Use 5 seconds to think about your next move: Is there a way you can continue to remove yourself from the situation without getting physical? If s**t goes to fan, can you definitively prove you are defending yourself? And will you be able to let the other guys hit you first without getting knocked out? Because at that point, you have a strong case for self-defense.

If the question is "I don't just want to hurt you, but actually kill you" then you might have an unchecked rage inside. Something that is triggering that, as no one wants to kill for an interaction like that unless it is a survival situation. The desire to kill might be something more serious and we would suggest seeking professional help as that desire can potentially make you bypass any reasoning at any given moment and the next thing you will remember is having blood on your hands and prepare yourself to lose a lot of things in your life for 2 secs of rage.

Also, worth considering a boxing/mma class. Some type of outlet where you can pour some of that rage in a safe/professional environment.

Obviously, research the laws in your state and seek professional advice. We are by no means lawyers.



Modern Man Advice
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
You removed yourself from the situation, which shows social awareness and to some extent self-control. So that's a good start.

You also didn't physically escalate when he talked to you, that's also good. So let's start with giving yourself some credit.

Now for the difficult part, if the guy would have escalated it and said something else, you could have ended up in a fight or killing the guy. Unless you can definitely prove it was self-defense, there is preferably a video of it (since it was in public), and you can prove your life and the lives of your girls were at risk then you can get away with it. However, it is all circumstantial and you can potentially end up in jail either way.

Now think about this for a second the next time this happens, try to imagine your life in jail. All the things you will lose and the hell you will go through. Take a deep breath and never react right away. Use 5 seconds to think about your next move: Is there a way you can continue to remove yourself from the situation without getting physical? If s**t goes to fan, can you definitively prove you are defending yourself? And will you be able to let the other guys hit you first without getting knocked out? Because at that point, you have a strong case for self-defense.

If the question is "I don't just want to hurt you, but actually kill you" then you might have an unchecked rage inside. Something that is triggering that, as no one wants to kill for an interaction like that unless it is a survival situation. The desire to kill might be something more serious and we would suggest seeking professional help as that desire can potentially make you bypass any reasoning at any given moment and the next thing you will remember is having blood on your hands and prepare yourself to lose a lot of things in your life for 2 secs of rage.

Also, worth considering a boxing/mma class. Some type of outlet where you can pour some of that rage in a safe/professional environment.

Obviously, research the laws in your state and seek professional advice. We are by no means lawyers.



Modern Man Advice
Appreciate the advice and yes, ruining my life in Jail goes through my mind. Like I responded above, I feel like I can't give someone the opportunity to retaliate and hurt me so i hurt them bad first. I am definitely not the type to start anything with anyone and keep to myself but the "rage" starts building up when I feel someone is bringing danger to me and my life. With so many crazy things happening today, who knows if he took out a knife and tried to cut me or even whip out a firearm. The park was packed with people but still.

As one of the other posters mentioned above, today's society is very fragile and I would be the one viewed in the wrong even if I was threatened. There are so many sh*t-heads out there wanting to start something with you and it's really difficult to just let it go. Sometimes I feel like these people need to be taught a lesson for fvcking with someone.
 

FuzzX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2021
Messages
635
Reaction score
391
Age
43
Appreciate the advice and yes, ruining my life in Jail goes through my mind. Like I responded above, I feel like I can't give someone the opportunity to retaliate and hurt me so i hurt them bad first. I am definitely not the type to start anything with anyone and keep to myself but the "rage" starts building up when I feel someone is bringing danger to me and my life. With so many crazy things happening today, who knows if he took out a knife and tried to cut me or even whip out a firearm. The park was packed with people but still.

As one of the other posters mentioned above, today's society is very fragile and I would be the one viewed in the wrong even if I was threatened. There are so many sh*t-heads out there wanting to start something with you and it's really difficult to just let it go. Sometimes I feel like these people need to be taught a lesson for fvcking with someone.
If you haven't already, you should enroll in a few martial arts classes to get an idea of what it feels like to get your ass kicked. Also you'll learn to control yourself a bit more and have a serious amount of confidence. I'm not a fan of knives personally, I own a few but I can cause way more damage with my hands. The other thing is, you can't really claim self defense with a knife and more importantly, you are leaving a murder weapon behind that can be tracked to you. If you hit someone with the intent of doing massive damage, you need to RUN AWAY & HIDE after and I'm talking south of the border. The girls you are with should be prepared to run with you and not call the police. If you hit someone or kill someone you do not call the police afterwards unless you want to go to jail. You MAY be able to restrain that person but in a REAL street fight, you're gonna end up breaking bones or gauging eyes if you don't want to die. Throwing haymakers will land you straight into a coffin or a wheelchair after your target gets up and calls his buddies. I work in a prison, you NEVER want to end up here and the kinds of people that frequent the area would not put a second thought to killing you or leaving you for dead.

If you are anything like me, you attract these a$$holes by default. I don't know why, but out of 100 people, they are going to come looking for me, I just give off the vibe, I guess it has to do with my job. Go out for a pizza and decide if staying in NY is really worth going to prison for. If I were you man, I would move out into the middle of nowhere. Somewhere cheap and quiet like Battle Mountain or Rachel Nevada. Somewhere that would be pretty hostile for homeless to live, let alone get to. Places where the benches would have tarantulas and the soup kitchens serve scorpions and nobody is gonna hear you scream.
 
Last edited:
Top