Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That is the exact WRONG thing to do. You dont EVER want to act defensive b/c it makes you looks weak, like you are trying to live up to your accuser. Instead, here are good ideas:DJDamage said:If it is towards a guy " are you jealous of me"?
If it is towards a girl " are you jealous of her?"
Its not being defensive its another way of using C&F (saying it jokingly with a smirk) and shifting the spotlight back to the accuser and making him/her be defensive.dap said:That is the exact WRONG thing to do. You dont EVER want to act defensive b/c it makes you looks weak, like you are trying to live up to your accuser.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Winner.dap said:That is the exact WRONG thing to do. You dont EVER want to act defensive b/c it makes you looks weak, like you are trying to live up to your accuser. Instead, here are good ideas:
SOME GUY: "Hey, you like HB, don't you Comback Kid"
YOU (with a big smile on your face): "haha, how did you know?"
this just throws it back in his face, like you dont care what either of them think.
Or, if you feel like you need to neg the girl, try this:
SOME GUY: "Hey, you like HB, don't you Comback Kid"
YOU (with a big smile on your face): "haha, sure i like you. You remind me of my little sister."
Yea this is perfect. You don't wanna hide your intentions or brush it off. This is the way to go.dap said:That is the exact WRONG thing to do. You dont EVER want to act defensive b/c it makes you looks weak, like you are trying to live up to your accuser. Instead, here are good ideas:
SOME GUY: "Hey, you like HB, don't you Comback Kid"
YOU (with a big smile on your face): "haha, how did you know?"
this just throws it back in his face, like you dont care what either of them think.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.