"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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VERY CONFUSED SITUATION w/ a HB 8 .. How can I handle this?

xero88

Don Juan
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Hey fella,

I been hanging out with this girl a little over 2 months. She a HB 8, fun to talk to, awesome to hang out with, you know the drill. She was single in the beginning when I met her, but still love her LTR BF. We connected at one point; kino, kissing, hugging, etc. A few weeks ago, she got back with her LTR BF, and I didn't mess around with her because I felt it was wrong and all we did was hang out casually. The week after that, she got into a HUGE arguement with him and they decided to go on a break. Now that week, it felt like we were a couple, because all we did was couple things but not in public. She told me she like me a lot, and don't know what to do with her current LTR BF. I don't bring anything up, saying this is wrong b/c I don't was her to have a guilty conscience, but at the same time I don't want things to stop completely. Now she cannot break up with this guy, b/c he won't allow her even though they broken up a few times. This guy is a control freak, and have no life and education. But since they been together for so long, and was each other first BF/GF its hard to end it. At this point, I'm very confused in what the heck I should be doing or saying to her.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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marinetti

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
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you're in the friend zone. you need to, ASAP, tell her your feelings for her. ASAP, like call her and meet up with her tonight.

95% chance that she'll give you the LJBF talk. Sucks, but that's the way it is.

I was like this to a girl for a period of four months, where I was basically her male companion, minus any sort of physical anything. i was the nice guy, the emotional support. It was that experience that made me sign up for a bootcamp and vow to never let this happen again.

sorry, but you need to get over her and move on. you're not going to get anywhere until you do.
 

xero88

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Dude, I'm not in the friendzone. Right now, she basically in the middle of choosing me or her NEW bf. She obviously cannot have both.
 

Interceptor

Master Don Juan
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She's testing you out to see if you're a secure branch to swing to.

Do you want her?
 

xero88

Don Juan
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Her boyfriend obviously don't know any of this. She really not feeling him much as she use to anymore. She basically said "whatever happens, happen now. I want to care for him as a friend really, not as a boyfriend". I just feel like crap sometimes, that I'm doing what I'm doing. It's good and everything, but I sure don't want my girlfriend to be doing this to another guy, since I believe in what comes around goes around. And at this very moment, since there no new girl in my life thats why i keep her around since she a fun person to be around and is a HB 8. I would say I'm 50/50 in wanting her.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
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She is just feeding you bullsh!t and your soaking it right up. Perhaps this guy is some nut case but, is she that afraid to leave him? I'd say your the re-bound guy and her emotional tampon when sh!t goes down hill with them. Unless your fvcking this girl on and off depending when she gets back with her boyfriend again.. Your wasting your time.
 

xero88

Don Juan
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She got back with her BF, but still messing around kino`in and kissing like she was single. I want to ask her why she doing this b/c I think its wrong, but maybe I shouldn't at the same time.
 

Alkali

Senior Don Juan
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Aug 4, 2007
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Drop it, Xero88. She's obviously a skank.

Find someone without loads of melodrama.
 
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If she wanted you then she would have left him already!! Do nothing! Don't call her!
 

skirtChaser

Banned
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Oct 12, 2007
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why do guys talk to chicks about other boyfriends?.....that's weird and it sounds like two chicks talking to each other.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Dilberto

Senior Don Juan
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Oct 21, 2007
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Play second fiddle, to NOBODY. You are wasting your time being her rebounding insurance policy. She's now damaged goods. Write her off, pal. Let her find another sucker to do this to. I know her kind......very soon, she will be sporting two black eyes, and you don't need to tell these women anything at all......because they have already been told- TWICE....
 

Lexie

Don Juan
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Oct 26, 2007
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I agree with what's already been said. Um, her boyfriend won't LET her leave him? Sounds like a lame excuse. If she really wanted you she would have left him already. "Doing couple stuff but not in public" is a big red flag. You just need to stay out of it until she gets her life straightened out. Do you really want to be a choice?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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:nono: Beware of becoming the "Rebound Guy."
 

cyraid

Don Juan
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Aug 27, 2007
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No! No! No! You can't do that, man. You didn't say anything because you didn't want her to have a guilty conscience? Get out of that AFC mindset. If she's messing around with you while she's getting together with other guys she DESERVES to feel guilty. Lay it out to her how it is and get her to make up her mind. Unless you like being played as her b1tch, then continue as is...
 
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