"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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VERY CONFUSED SITUATION w/ a HB 8 .. How can I handle this?

xero88

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Hey fella,

I been hanging out with this girl a little over 2 months. She a HB 8, fun to talk to, awesome to hang out with, you know the drill. She was single in the beginning when I met her, but still love her LTR BF. We connected at one point; kino, kissing, hugging, etc. A few weeks ago, she got back with her LTR BF, and I didn't mess around with her because I felt it was wrong and all we did was hang out casually. The week after that, she got into a HUGE arguement with him and they decided to go on a break. Now that week, it felt like we were a couple, because all we did was couple things but not in public. She told me she like me a lot, and don't know what to do with her current LTR BF. I don't bring anything up, saying this is wrong b/c I don't was her to have a guilty conscience, but at the same time I don't want things to stop completely. Now she cannot break up with this guy, b/c he won't allow her even though they broken up a few times. This guy is a control freak, and have no life and education. But since they been together for so long, and was each other first BF/GF its hard to end it. At this point, I'm very confused in what the heck I should be doing or saying to her.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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marinetti

Senior Don Juan
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you're in the friend zone. you need to, ASAP, tell her your feelings for her. ASAP, like call her and meet up with her tonight.

95% chance that she'll give you the LJBF talk. Sucks, but that's the way it is.

I was like this to a girl for a period of four months, where I was basically her male companion, minus any sort of physical anything. i was the nice guy, the emotional support. It was that experience that made me sign up for a bootcamp and vow to never let this happen again.

sorry, but you need to get over her and move on. you're not going to get anywhere until you do.
 

xero88

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Dude, I'm not in the friendzone. Right now, she basically in the middle of choosing me or her NEW bf. She obviously cannot have both.
 

Interceptor

Master Don Juan
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She's testing you out to see if you're a secure branch to swing to.

Do you want her?
 

xero88

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Her boyfriend obviously don't know any of this. She really not feeling him much as she use to anymore. She basically said "whatever happens, happen now. I want to care for him as a friend really, not as a boyfriend". I just feel like crap sometimes, that I'm doing what I'm doing. It's good and everything, but I sure don't want my girlfriend to be doing this to another guy, since I believe in what comes around goes around. And at this very moment, since there no new girl in my life thats why i keep her around since she a fun person to be around and is a HB 8. I would say I'm 50/50 in wanting her.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
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She is just feeding you bullsh!t and your soaking it right up. Perhaps this guy is some nut case but, is she that afraid to leave him? I'd say your the re-bound guy and her emotional tampon when sh!t goes down hill with them. Unless your fvcking this girl on and off depending when she gets back with her boyfriend again.. Your wasting your time.
 

xero88

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She got back with her BF, but still messing around kino`in and kissing like she was single. I want to ask her why she doing this b/c I think its wrong, but maybe I shouldn't at the same time.
 

Alkali

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Drop it, Xero88. She's obviously a skank.

Find someone without loads of melodrama.
 
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If she wanted you then she would have left him already!! Do nothing! Don't call her!
 

skirtChaser

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why do guys talk to chicks about other boyfriends?.....that's weird and it sounds like two chicks talking to each other.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Dilberto

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Play second fiddle, to NOBODY. You are wasting your time being her rebounding insurance policy. She's now damaged goods. Write her off, pal. Let her find another sucker to do this to. I know her kind......very soon, she will be sporting two black eyes, and you don't need to tell these women anything at all......because they have already been told- TWICE....
 

Lexie

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I agree with what's already been said. Um, her boyfriend won't LET her leave him? Sounds like a lame excuse. If she really wanted you she would have left him already. "Doing couple stuff but not in public" is a big red flag. You just need to stay out of it until she gets her life straightened out. Do you really want to be a choice?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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:nono: Beware of becoming the "Rebound Guy."
 

cyraid

Don Juan
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No! No! No! You can't do that, man. You didn't say anything because you didn't want her to have a guilty conscience? Get out of that AFC mindset. If she's messing around with you while she's getting together with other guys she DESERVES to feel guilty. Lay it out to her how it is and get her to make up her mind. Unless you like being played as her b1tch, then continue as is...
 
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