Using your advice-Help

[Darrenez]

Hi guys,

So the other day I posted a thread in regards to texting a woman and you gave me a lot of advice stating that you should only text the woman to arrange the date. You should then stay silent until meeting up.

So today I've arranged a date with a woman for Wednesday. We have barely text each other yet we are meeting for a coffee after she gave me her number.

Do I text her between now and Wednesday or do I just leave it silent? because surely she will cancel as I am not showing her much interest and there hasn't been much in the form of conversation between us?

If I do text her between now and Wednesday what do I say?

Just need a little bit of guidance as I think it could backfire if I don't text her even a tiny bit.

Thanks guys

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It depends. If you are confident in your texting skills I've found it is very helpful to contact them.

If not, then you will cause her to flake by looking desperate

 

[Darrenez]

It depends. If you are confident in your texting skills I've found it is very helpful to contact them.

If not, then you will cause her to flake by looking desperate

Well I know how to text women but don't want to mess up or increase the chance of her flaking. Could you offer me some tips on what to text please?

 

[backseatjuan]

You have her number why text her? Not sure why you chose Wednesday, and not Tuesday. But yea, silent until Wednesday, call, confirm. Another thing, why the **** did you chose coffee? What chance you have drinking coffee? I usually arrange for alcohol either outside or at my place. You can actually do whatever you want to do, even dump her before you meet her. But usually the idea is to get laid, that requires alcohol and a place.

 

[RangerMIke]

Do I text her between now and Wednesday or do I just leave it silent? because surely she will cancel as I am not showing her much interest and there hasn't been much in the form of conversation between us?

If you are SURE you have a solid time and place, AND she has a way to reach you if she wants to flake, then you are done... no need to reach out to her again.

The reason you do this is you are trying to gauge her interest. Think of initial meet-ups as your interview for her to see if she is worthy of your c0ck. If she reaches out to you to make sure of the date, this is a VERY good indicator of interest. If she doesn't show up, well.... best to know that now then waste any time with her. If she stands you up take the hint, she doesn't like you. If she flakes without a counter offer, then take the hint and stop trying.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you are SURE you have a solid time and place, AND she has a way to reach you if she wants to flake, then you are done... no need to reach out to her again.

The reason you do this is you are trying to gauge her interest. Think of initial meet-ups as your interview for her to see if she is worthy of your c0ck. If she reaches out to you to make sure of the date, this is a VERY good indicator of interest. If she doesn't show up, well.... best to know that now then waste any time with her. If she stands you up take the hint, she doesn't like you. If she flakes without a counter offer, then take the hint and stop trying.

The problem with this is you assume she KNOWS her interest level in a person she has never met. This is a huge reach IMHO, and a big mistake too many people make.

Until someone has met you in person, they have NO IDEA of their actual interest level, only what they THINK their interest level is. You can drastically increase or decrease this based on what happens in person.Haven't you ever met someone that you thought you'd really like and within 5 minutes you realize you can't stand them or are not attracted to them, etc? Well it works the same in reverse too.

The ONLY thing you should be concerned with prior to the first date is ensuring an actual in person meet. You can't get laid if you don't meet. And you have a better chance of meeting when you don't go ghost.

But only if you have good texting skills and can do it without looking desperate. Also...that doesn't mean you are texting her 50 times a day...a text or two a day usually suffices.

 

[Darrenez]

You have her number why text her? Not sure why you chose Wednesday, and not Tuesday. But yea, silent until Wednesday, call, confirm. Another thing, why the **** did you chose coffee? What chance you have drinking coffee? I usually arrange for alcohol either outside or at my place. You can actually do whatever you want to do, even dump her before you meet her. But usually the idea is to get laid, that requires alcohol and a place.

I did ask to meet tomorrow however she said she a uni presentation to prepare for and then she mentioned weds instead..I just think coffee is a better option as it seems more casual and I thought there would be less chance she would flake/get nervous if it was meeting up in the afternoon. So was this a bad idea?

I'll leave it as it is and Wednesday morning,I'll shoot her a message to confirm..hope this works haha.

 

[Darrenez]

The problem with this is you assume she KNOWS her interest level in a person she has never met. This is a huge reach IMHO, and a big mistake too many people make.

Until someone has met you in person, they have NO IDEA of their actual interest level, only what they THINK their interest level is. You can drastically increase or decrease this based on what happens in person.Haven't you ever met someone that you thought you'd really like and within 5 minutes you realize you can't stand them or are not attracted to them, etc? Well it works the same in reverse too.

The ONLY thing you should be concerned with prior to the first date is ensuring an actual in person meet. You can't get laid if you don't meet. And you have a better chance of meeting when you don't go ghost.

But only if you have good texting skills and can do it without looking desperate. Also...that doesn't mean you are texting her 50 times a day...a text or two a day usually suffices.

Thats kind of what I am thinking..Its just deciding on what to text her without coming across needy. I guess just a simple statement would do.

 

[Darrenez]

I sent her a silly message saying I'm going to the gym and then onto the spa.. All lies haha.. She replied straight away. She asked for a picture but I haven't replied and I won't send a picture.

 

[Roober]

If she is replying, that is good. Don't keep texting though. If she asks a question, that is going to be rude to not respond. Sometimes when women ask for a picture, they will say "send me a picture while at the gym". I will take a picture of some obscure object and is usually good for a laugh. Or my shoes or something, especially if they weren't specific.

I have had mixed results with ghosting till the date. The key is setting it up near something you want to do, so your time investment is very minimal if she does flake... 15 min drive, 15 min wait, then leave.

I have learned if they don't text beforehand to say they are late, I am wasting my time...

 

[Young OG]

I would text her. But, don't over due it. You should definitely text her the day of the date and say "make sure your wear something hot lol."

Once I stopped following the stay silent until the date/only text to set up a date rule, I noticed my flake rate took a nose dive. Other people on here won't agree with me, but I think that the rule is out dated. It was good back when the forum started, but not anymore. Nowadays with smart phones, social media apps, and OLD apps, women are getting constant attention. I don't think there is anything wrong with giving them little attention leading up to that date, but like I said don't over due it.

 

[sazc]

I would let her be initiating. If she texts you dont have to be all over it immediately, but respond eventually. Just dont get into long drawn out conversations over text. If you find yourself traveling down that path, politely excuse yourself by mentioning that you prefer to get to know someone in person and are looking froward to meeting her.