"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Using humor "correctly"

F

flint

Don Juan
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So I have a question for you guys. I see a lot of you saying humor helps, and I also notice that in a lot of your approach journals and everything you use humor when approaching.

One problem I have is that I'm actually very funny, I can go to a party or a bar or whatever and have people I just met laughing all the time. My problem is I can't seem to translate that over to building attraction.

So my question is, if you already have a good sense of humor how do you use it the right way to build attraction, versus just being a fun guy to party with?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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H

horaholic

Master Don Juan
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Just dont make humor you main source of value. If you do that, you turn into 'dancing monkey boy,' or the court jester. Dont forget to be plenty serious at the same time. There is a line between the 'life of the party,' and the parties 'entertainment.' Another way to put it is to not use humor to 'win' people over. If you do that, you have established yourself as lower value. Have a mindset that you are 'rewarding people' with laughter, if they prove themselves worthy first.

Try using humor as your opener, and to make your set comfortable with your presence. Then you need to switch to serious mode, so they know you arent just the party clown, throwing humor in a little more sparingly.
 
H

HarlequinMan

Don Juan
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exactly....humor is a good tool but cant be your only one...use it sparingly or youll turn into court jester like above poster said...remember your ultimate goal isnt to make girls laugh, its to build attraction
 
D

Dannyrt34

Master Don Juan
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"You can be funny, as long as you still have character."
-Conan O'brien on his final episode at late night

It's good you have that ability, but make sure you don't use disguising who you really are as a person. Nobody can really know what you're like as a person unless you show your serious side as well, confidently.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

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