"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Using her guys friends?

B-Real

Don Juan
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I was thinking the other day if maybe you should hang out with her guy friends in order to get closer to her. I mean I'm not exactly "like" her friends in a since that i'm not a big jock type guy, although I'm better looking than most of them.

But if maybe you could hang out or try to hang out with them and maybe even make new friends. This way its like I would have a reason to hang out with that certain crowd, thus, being around her more. Advice needed
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

SynapsyS

Don Juan
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You shouldn't be hanging with her crowd. You should be hanging with her ;)

Seriously though, I do advocate gaming her female friends a little though. That way, when she turns to them behind the scenes with questions like "I don't know about him hey, what should I do?", they'll talk you up to her. Also, coupled with a real easy, civil break up, it'll give you a shot at her friends later on too :)

Guy friends would probably be similar. The idea is that when she turns to them for advice, it works in your favour. However, this might be a little difficult if they really aren't the sort of people you hang with. Give it a go at the very least, you don't want to be seen by them to be "snatching her away from them".

However, don't hang with them as an excuse to "be around her more." You should still move her into one-on-one interactions, but if her friends are around, be friendly to them etc.

Syn.
 

B-Real

Don Juan
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So your saying that I should try and make friends with her guy friends or not?
No doubt about it i'm gonna get her one on one. I'm just saying that when they go out on the weekends or whatever I think that if I'm there with them, i'll be more prone to bumping into her than if I didn't.
 

SynapsyS

Don Juan
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You've got your motivation screwed up. Don't go and hang with them "top bump into her", hang with them because you WANT TO. You should always be up to making new friends.

Besides, what's the status of this whole thing with this girl? Have you asked her out? Have you even spoken to her? If you've never even talked to her, then going and hanging with her friends and then going off with her will piss her friends off because you've just used them.

If you already know her and have asked her out/got her number/whatever, then organise something with her by yourselves, and skip the friends part.

If you sort of know her, but aren't really in with it, spend some time with her friends first, and resist giving her attention the first time you're with her friends. The next time, go and talk to her, close, etc.

So it really depends on your status with her. Remember, these are my opinions, you'll just have to judge the situation. Just try to create a good impression on her friends, try not to piss them off by using them to get to her, and then go one-on-one.

Syn.
 

B-Real

Don Juan
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Yea your right. I think I had my post a little wrong. I wasn't talking about just one girl in particular. Just girls in general. Their is like 5 or 6 thats really hot and hangs out with certain guys on the weekends (but not dating). I was just referrering to maybe that way I could come in contact more with these girls than if I didn't know her friends.

But your right again, that would be using them and that would'nt be good. I'll just play it by ear. Plus I kinda like being the guy that "stole" our girls :)
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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