Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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URGENT! When you catch yourself getting needy with your GF?

INXS

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So what advice would you suggest following when you feel yourself getting needy and clingy to your new girlfriend? If you had plans, would you cancel them? How do you un-needy yourself?

I'm starting to sense she is getting a needy vibe from me and I don't want that. How do I fix this? Quick!!

Any urgent pointers would be much appreciated.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Centaurion

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You go and spin some other plates.

Easy.
 

INXS

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Centaurion said:
You go and spin some other plates.

Easy.

But what if we are exclusive and I don't believe in cheating or "plate spinning" in this instance?

Or is plate spinning a methphor for do other things besides with her?

Because if your advice is just to get a life, and do other stuff, okay, I know that already.

But I'm asking...what should I do with regard to our plans for tonight? should I cancel and put them off? or just show up and then lay low after that? This will be day 3 in a row were together.

It is making me nervous now, because I've stepped back from the situation and set aside how awesome of time we have together and realized, "Tonight will be 3 days in a row. She has to be a getting a needy vibe sort of.." What do I do to erase that?
 

skip2mylou781

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unfortunately, the ONLY WAY to not be needy is to cheat, otherwise u will depend solely on her to bring u female comfort and that will result in neediness
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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blueguy

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It's all in the mind... don't focus mainly on her. Focus on something else. Don't cancel already set plans for the sake of cancelling them unless you actually do have something better to do. You'd need to give more details for a more specific answer. But hanging out 3 days in a row without giving off a needy vibe is easy. You should have an end goal state in mind and bring that with you when you're out with her again. Then bring her into that reality. Care about that more than you do her. Of course, this should be your mindset before making plans in the first place. Always putting yourself first.
 

blueguy

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INXS said:
Daaaaang :cuss:
So this means since we agreed to be commited to each other, I inturn decided to be needy?
Do you know what neediness is? It's when you need the other person more than you need yourself. And do you know why it would happen? Because you value the other person's ability to make you happy more than you do your own.

Once a girl realizes this, she gains power in the relationship and dumps you. But if you just would have focused on your own life more than your girl's, she would be extracting more happiness from you than you her. And you would remain happy in all aspects of your life because you'd have your happy life and your girl to supplement it on the side.

So... no. You are not committing to her. Ever. You are committing to yourself. Only then will she respect you and keep you because you are not relying on any other single person for your happiness.
 

jakeyboy

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When you are not needy is when you couldn't care less for the outcome.

and "spinning other plates" as it was so crudely put, is one way not to be attached to the outcome. because you have other pieces on the side. now that all your hopes are pinned on one girl, you can't help but worry. you worry because if she leaves you, you will have nothing. you don't have to cheat on her, there are plenty other ways to overcome this neediness.

your worrying comes across as neediness to her. i've been there, done that. just be conscious of it. talk to her a little less. if you can be entertaining and enjoyable company for the consecutive three days you spent with her, there wasn't any harm in it. but when you're not with her, play it cool man. lean back a little. contact her less. let her initiate contact. busy yourself with other things. i'm sure you've got work/school to keep you occupied.

all the best mate!
 

Fash

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Centaurion said:
You go and spin some other plates.

Easy.

Ha ha! I was thinking that as soon as I saw the thread title, before even openning it.

don't look at it as "cheating" look at it as a way of actually helping her! she likes you and doesn't want to lose interest, so by getting needy, you are going to cause sadness for her. :up:

Now go out there and bang some other chicks.
 

Centaurion

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skip2mylou781 said:
unfortunately, the ONLY WAY to not be needy is to cheat, otherwise u will depend solely on her to bring u female comfort and that will result in neediness
Uhm no.


You have male friends right? People you hang out with? Call them up and see what they are up to. Basically have a life besides your gf.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Centaurion

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And when I said 'spin other plates', I didn't necessarily mean that you should be banging other b!tches, it was more like sarging, talking or dating other b!tches (not exactly ideal in your situation though).
 
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