"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Update

brian123

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Here is my update to the girl in this thread (Again, yea I totally F'ed it up initially, but I've learned alot).

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=147038

On July 1 she asked me to lunch/get drinks. I responded with drinks are good, how does 5 sound? She answered back a couple hours later with "sorry shopping with mom, can't do tonight"

7/7 She sent me a txt around noon saying "Hope you had a great weekend, let me know if you want to do drinks some night this week". I said yes, and that I'd call her wed. Yesterday I called and initially she said she had a ton of work that night, but that should would like to meet up that night. We txt'd a few times that day and eventually she said sorry, but she had a ton of work she had to get done, but was really sorry. I responded back with "No problem, let me know a good time for you and we can get together"

Right now, I am going to let HER do the chasing. Initially, it was always me trying to initiate contact, now I've let her ask me out the last few times. I plan on having her ask me next. I am going to focus on hunting out other broads, and if she "chases me" and we go out for a drink, then I make my move.

This sound good to everyone?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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chinwaggler

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might be a good idea if she offers one day, say you're busy and get her to re-arrange for another. but good going on getting her to ask you out
 

true romance

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Next time she txt you for drinks, tell her you are busing moving to Zimbawe to survey the election for the UN.

Stop being so available..she is clearly pulling you several times and you still answer with "when".

Answer her :

Next time she txt you for drinks, tell her you are busing moving to Zimbawe to survey the election for the UN.

You are busy iron your bed, you are busy flossing the cat...etc

She will get the message.

"No problem, let me know a good time for you and we can get together"

You should come up with better answer than this. Make her pay for flaking by asking your demands.

if she agree to have a drink with you. She will pay for all 3 drinks and give you a massage and wash your dishes in bikini.


You need to have balls and be C& F. call her on her BS.
 

brian123

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Agreed. Next time she asks, I am going to say I am busy, and then offer another time. (I've been waiting a while to respond to her txts etc... and trying to put off meeting dates) I will say that she initiatlly offered any night of the week, and I said wed (because it was the only one I was free really.)

I am walking the tightrope of me trying to show interest because I f'ed up at the start, and trying to not be too available.

Her contacting me is steps in the right direction though.
 

suavesuave

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what if she never asks u out? are u gonna wait forever?
i rather ask her out and do the move and if it doesnt work do next her.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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brian123

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suavesuave said:
what if she never asks u out? are u gonna wait forever?
i rather ask her out and do the move and if it doesnt work do next her.
Well I am not waiting around for her, just to make things clear. Technically, I was/am dating a few girls, but she was def the one I liked the best.


I think I am going to wait a week or two, and if she doesn't contact me I will just balls up and say something like "I would really like the opportunity to take you out on a date" and if she says yes, atleast I tried and my intentions were known, and if she says no, then I was just wasting my time anyways. To be honest, she has shown most of the physical initiative, and since I "saw the light" a few weeks ago, we haven't been together to let me finally balls up and try something, so I'm guessing there is a good chance she thinks I'm in it for only the friends aspect.

Less than 2 weeks ago, I was the one contacting her, now she is the one contacting me, so I feel myself on the right path.
 

longlifexs

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Well as long as she is contacting you, you should be fine and playing slightly hard to get shouldn't do any harm. Just make sure you maintain a balance between that and making her aware of your existence, if you get what I mean. If she thinks of you and chases you, it's great, but if you overdo the whole -waiting for her to contact you and being busy- thing, you might end up with her giving up and forgetting about you. But you seem to be doing just fine so far, keep it up :)
 

brian123

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longlifexs said:
Well as long as she is contacting you, you should be fine and playing slightly hard to get shouldn't do any harm. Just make sure you maintain a balance between that and making her aware of your existence, if you get what I mean. If she thinks of you and chases you, it's great, but if you overdo the whole -waiting for her to contact you and being busy- thing, you might end up with her giving up and forgetting about you. But you seem to be doing just fine so far, keep it up :)

When she responded back with "I cant make it" Should I have responded back with "Canceling on me again, it looks like you owe me an actual dinner date now ;)"
 

longlifexs

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brian123 said:
When she responded back with "I cant make it" Should I have responded back with "Canceling on me again, it looks like you owe me an actual dinner date now ;)"
That's a good one ;) Let us know how things go with her :)
 

brian123

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longlifexs said:
That's a good one ;) Let us know how things go with her :)
Ok, Im assuming I should give her atleast a week to contact me (make her do some chasing). If she asks me to drinks or something, what should my response be?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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brian123

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so i txt'd her last night about meeting up for golfing tonight. She said maybe, depending on work/how she felt (and that she was going to the cemetary today), but that she would love to go sometime. I told her to call me today to let me know what's up. As usual, she didn't get a hold of me today and her away message said that she was "outie :)"

This is like the 3rd time shes blown me off like that, even when sometimes she sends me a txt asking me for drinks, then cancels at the last minute. I'm done with that crap.
 
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