"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Update: "Low IL, What to do?"

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crack_her

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Well, I went to her bar for a friends party. I acknowledged her by giving her a kiss on the cheek and a smile. I was having a blast with my friends and could see that she kept looking my way through periphiral vision. She came by later and we made small talk. At about 11 pm. I asked her for my tab and she asked me "Are you leaving already?" I said "yeah, gotta go". I left without saying "bye". I had to go to another party, my friends stayed behind.

That's how it went after not calling her for 6 days. After seeing her, I feel like calling her again. Help!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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crack_her

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Oh, I left out that during the night my girl friend initiated a karaoke song but didn't know how it went. I finished it and the place gave me a nice aplause. I do sing really well - no seriously, I really do. American Idol well, not joking, maybe better. :cool:

However, I don't think she was so impressed because she heard me sing much more difficult songs than the one my friend played last night. But at least I gained points in the "social proof" category.
 
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PuertoRican_Lover

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Let her call you first - you did your job by acknowledging her - nothing more is necessary.

After two weeks of no contact - ask her to do a fun activity - see what she says.
 
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crack_her

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TO: PRL

PRL,
I was going to wait a week, then ask her out. You say 2 weeks? Why 2?

Also, you say fun, I was thinking dinner. Is it because fun things are less intimidating as far as sex goes? This maybe key because she thinks I want her only for sex.
 
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PuertoRican_Lover

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I'm thinking she is intrigued by your suave voice and DJ personality and that she'll want to call you within 2 weeks, if she doesn't then this is the kind of girl who wants a guy to make the first move. Wait ten days then if not two weeks. Remember you said her IL was low - this is a good test!

Dinner and moviea are boring dates - save that for old folks who are more established and sophisticated. A 'fun' activityallows the tension that may exist between you two to be released in a playful manner and them she'll be more open and relaxed around you. Also, after having fun, she'll be more open to a second date.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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crack_her

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Well here's the update. I saw her Friday night at her work. We talked and she seemed friendly/happy to see me. When I left, I told her that I'd call her. Today I called and she didn't answer. I think she actually "declined" my call because the voice mail came on after only 3 rings. I left a message for her to call me back and she didn't. I guess she's not interested anymore.

I know now that I have to forget about her but it's tough when my close friends like to hang out at where she works.
 
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