Update from the weekend

[Jamie12345]

I saw her we went out for dinner then back to hers didn't even get through the first episode on tv before I led her upstairs were we stayed. I ended up staying over but I don't think she wanted me too, she said are you staying or are you going home when I said im staying she said i don't think it's clever cause you have to be up early tomorrow, I stayed anyway and she seemed fine about it.

I said to her Monday when you are you free she said Tues weds and Thurs didn't even mention seeing her until tomorrow expecting her to say when am I seeing you again etc but she hasn't!?

she's told her family about me but hasn't said she like me or arranges anything like meeting next. Still no idea where I stand with her.

I've got to presume so much with her.

Presume that she likes me that she wants to see me tonight that she wanted me to stay the other night, though even though I said I would she was saying it's not sensible etc know that she's insecure and overthinks but never asks me anything about me and her we've been dating twice a week since December and I still don't know if she is going to agree to a date when I ask her.

When I mentioned yday seeing her tonight while we was generally txting she didn't mention it again and didn't respond to it .

What do you think to it all?

 

[derby1]

"The Definition of insanity is keep doing and asking the same things but expecting different results"

I think you should go back through your posts and messages reread advice given and start implementing

for christs sake man she probably has you saved in her phone under "FIDO" or "Garfield"

Read the DJ BIBLE and watch Corey Waynes Videos over and over again

you need to move on from this woman she will never respect you, you sub conciously believe she is a PRIZE and you show this with your "DONT LEAVE ME MASTER...... DONT LEAVE ME MASTER" behaviour

 

[Jamie12345]

Think you are been harsh, we did have sex as well!!! a lot!

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

As I hinted in our private discussion, you shouldn't be worrying anywhere near so much. Keep your eye on the facts and be assertive, dominant, manly.

You're having sex with her, that's good. That's all you've got right now, really. You've only been going out just over a month!

Keep up the dates, but don't let her simply use you as a call-upon vibrator, which is where I feel you're headed by not being assertive enough. You should be not giving a s*** about this minor stuff ("Did she text me back a day later?" Who cares? Don't worry).

Instead you should be focusing on keeping it interesting. The one thing you want to avoid is a scenario where you're begging for her attention and miserable that she's not texting you, but you're still running round her house to have sex with her. You're not her sex slave, don't act like it.

Sex is good for her as well as you. It's not a carrot at the end of a stick that you have to work to earn, she has to work for it too.

And please call her out (politely) on the whole "You have to work tomorrow" BS she keeps telling you. It's outrageous. It's none of her business if you're working tomorrow, or if you're out on the town drinking or whatever. To me the fact she keeps bringing it up as if you're a naughty boy is just rude and shows disrespect, she's only saying that to you because she feels she has control over you.

 

[Jamie12345]

It's always me that leads her to sex not the to other way round.

The sleeping over thing was obviously her way of saying she didn't want me to but I stood my ground and told her it would be fine.

The only problem is when it comes to arranging dates or leading to sex it's always me that intaties make me question weather she really is intrested.

If you read my first thread to get her from not even looking at me after we have kissed to having sex I'd say I have done well.

Most men would be happy with the current situation, im only not because I don't want just sex and want her to show some enthusiasm to seeing each other rather than leaving it all down to me

 

[derby1]

@LessThanSmooth has worded it more politely read his whole post shes spinning your yarn ive told you this.... All be it ive told you more bluntly

you are acting like the mentallity of a peasent who has been invited into the Princesses Quarters shes let you have a taste of the PUSWAAA and then she gives you the "ARE YOUS STILL HERE" treatment ......and its sending you into a mental scream.....

you clearly are not dating other women or behaving like a highly desirable male, Any BS from this woman A Don Juan would have gone "gotta go keep in touch"

DJ BIBLE and COREY WAYNE VIDEOs all day and all night, @Jamie12345

 

[derby1]

Most men would be happy with the current situation, im only not because I don't want just sex and want her to show some enthusiasm to seeing each other rather than leaving it all down to me

A DJ is only worried about having a great night and Sex, Women are enthusiastic about the "Relationship" shes currently the male in this scenario Which is why youre chasing hard and shes loving every minute of it

you are not implementing anything we have suggested because you are SCARED of losing her as you are treating her like a PRIZE

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

It's always me that leads her to sex not the to other way round.

The sleeping over thing was obviously her way of saying she didn't want me to but I stood my ground and told her it would be fine.

The only problem is when it comes to arranging dates or leading to sex it's always me that intaties make me question weather she really is intrested.

If you read my first thread to get her from not even looking at me after we have kissed to having sex I'd say I have done well.

Most men would be happy with the current situation, im only not because I don't want just sex and want her to show some enthusiasm to seeing each other rather than leaving it all down to me

Mate I'm not doubting you have done well. We've all said well done on sleeping with her, that is good It's also good that you want to have an actual emotional attachment to her, you sound like a decent bloke.

The secret is now to not relinquish control over your relationship with her - which is what you are doing with all this texting and self-doubt.

Ask yourself these questions:
1. Why are you always having to initiate?
2. You just had a night of great sex, why is she kicking you out? Remember how a few weeks back she was kicking you out of the house before you even got to have sex!

Having to initiate all the time and getting kicked out of her bed is not a sign that she isn't interested in you. It's a sign that she doesn't respect you. You're a convenient man for filling her bed when and how she wants you to, and then she can't be bothered unless you make all the effort.

Any girl that values and respects you that you're trying to have a real relationship with won't be kicking you out of out of her bed. She'll want you to stay over and she'll want to see you often. And if you can't stay, she'll have a legit apologetic reason.

Telling you "Your job in my bed is done. You've got work tomorrow little boy, go home." is not a valid reason. It's a diss to you.

Leave it 2 days with no contact (or minimal if you HAVE to text), and then ask her to dinner on a weekend or Friday. She'll wonder why you're not texting every 5 minutes and seeing her 2+ times a week (which is too much) and she'll get interested again because you're not worshipping her.

 

[derby1]

No you dont contact her at all AT ALL then after a few days when she wonders where her Puppets gone...But hes not a puppet anymore hes William the ****ing Conqueror.....hes gonna reply "hey baby been tied up sorry, id love to see you Drinks at mine(im sure you can get your parents to go out for a bit) if she says anything other than "great"
you reply, "no probs drop me a message in a weeks time and maybe we can sort something then"

"The Time for OTT Courtesy me being submissive, Respect and Emotional Tampon behaviour jumped off the Empire State building last time I saw this chick"

@Jamie12345 has liked Smooths status because it has reassured him, that is what he is seeking reassurance he "WONT LOSE THIS ONE" its "Salvageable"

A High Value man wouldnt give a Fck about losing this maiden it would be her LOSS

 

[derby1]

She's a friend with benefits; a booty call

Agreed....although shes the male in this....she gets rid of him After theyve hung out, he asks for Snuggles and Sleep Over,

OP She should be the one asking for this

 

[ohrein]

And please call her out (politely) on the whole "You have to work tomorrow" BS she keeps telling you. It's outrageous. It's none of her business if you're working tomorrow, or if you're out on the town drinking or whatever. To me the fact she keeps bringing it up as if you're a naughty boy is just rude and shows disrespect, she's only saying that to you because she feels she has control over you.

Had this happen to me recently. I said, "Listen, I'm an adult who can make their own decisions. I will tell you want I want and what I expect. I don't need you to suggest things to me, okay?" **** is super annoying. Actually next time it happens I think I should have a proper talk about it. I love this site. I never stop learning.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Had this happen to me recently. I said, "Listen, I'm an adult who can make their own decisions. I will tell you want I want and what I expect. I don't need you to suggest things to me, okay?" **** is super annoying. Actually next time it happens I think I should have a proper talk about it. I love this site. I never stop learning.

If it's a serious girlfriend and it's genuinely self-destructive behaviour (like excessive borderline alcoholic drinking) I can understand and respect a girl calling a guy out. But when it's a girl who's not even an actual GF just telling a guy his business I find it so weird.

I would never tell a woman "You've got work tomorrow, I don't think you should come over." or "Should you really be doing that?" I'm LOLling just thinking about it.

 

[Thatfeel21]

As I hinted in our private discussion, you shouldn't be worrying anywhere near so much. Keep your eye on the facts and be assertive, dominant, manly.

You're having sex with her, that's good. That's all you've got right now, really. You've only been going out just over a month!

Keep up the dates, but don't let her simply use you as a call-upon vibrator, which is where I feel you're headed by not being assertive enough. You should be not giving a s*** about this minor stuff ("Did she text me back a day later?" Who cares? Don't worry).

Instead you should be focusing on keeping it interesting. The one thing you want to avoid is a scenario where you're begging for her attention and miserable that she's not texting you, but you're still running round her house to have sex with her. You're not her sex slave, don't act like it.

Sex is good for her as well as you. It's not a carrot at the end of a stick that you have to work to earn, she has to work for it too.

And please call her out (politely) on the whole "You have to work tomorrow" BS she keeps telling you. It's outrageous. It's none of her business if you're working tomorrow, or if you're out on the town drinking or whatever. To me the fact she keeps bringing it up as if you're a naughty boy is just rude and shows disrespect, she's only saying that to you because she feels she has control over you.

This. All of this. OP you need to ADOPT your menality to match this. Then you will awaken to what we are all trying to tell you.

 

[Jamie12345]

Update

I cancelled the plans we had for last night (trying to get some control back) saying i was going to my cousins party she was hungover and she was grumpy and would be having a early night anyway, .

she then txted me saying is that ok? if i just see you at the weekend?

i dont know if this is a good thing her asking to see me, or a bad thing her asking if its ok with me?

i txt back saying ill see you friday/saturday, she said arent you going out friday? (low interest?) then said friday and saturday sound good if your free for both.

(sounds like low intrest to me as if she wouldnt be bothered if she saw me at all)

didnt reply to her then 2 hours later she said hope your having a good night.

Thoughts?

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Update

I cancelled the plans we had for last night (trying to get some control back) saying i was going to my cousins party she was hungover and she was grumpy and would be having a early night anyway, .

she then txted me saying is that ok? if i just see you at the weekend?

i dont know if this is a good thing her asking to see me, or a bad thing her asking if its ok with me?

i txt back saying ill see you friday/saturday, she said arent you going out friday? (low interest?) then said friday and saturday sound good if your free for both.

(sounds like low intrest to me as if she wouldnt be bothered if she saw me at all)

didnt reply to her then 2 hours later she said hope your having a good night.

Thoughts?

You seriously need some chill. As we’ve all said, stop worrying about everything so much!

Your posts above reads like you’re massively over analysing every sentence this woman is saying looking for nuanced hidden meanings.

If she’s asking to meet one day and not another she is not “low interest”, she is probably just busy.

I’m going to repeat it again: this is not your girlfriend, this is not your wife, this is just a girl you have had sex with a couple of times.

Also use your intuition a bit too. If you want to see her at the weekend, see her at the weekend.

If she’s asked to meet at the weekend and you want to see her, why did you ignore her for 2 hours?

You should be replying to the texts where she actively wants to set up dates and not talking to her all the time about irrelevant s***. Instead you’re ignoring her when she shows interest and indulging her when she’s not interested!

 

[Jamie12345]

I ignored her for 2 hours after she apologised for been grumpy. not after the friday and saturday sounds good message

 

[Murk]

I suggest you invest in some fvcking punctuation bro, reading your posts cause eye pain. I don't know who is saying what stop all the he said then said said said sh!t and use some commas to break up what you're trying to say.

If she suggested "Friday and Saturday if you're free" then she likes you, play it cool, happy days.

If you said that to her, what on earth is wrong with you bro?

 

[Jamie12345]

I suggest you invest in some fvcking punctuation bro, reading your posts cause eye pain. I don't know who is saying what stop all the he said then said said said sh!t and use some commas to break up what you're trying to say.

If she suggested "Friday and Saturday if you're free" then she likes you, play it cool, happy days.

If you said that to her, what on earth is wrong with you bro?

I suggested we chill Friday and go out Saturday

she said arent you going out Friday as usual (which i have done since we started talking)

i said no

She said Friday and Saturday sound good to me if your free both days

 

[Jamie12345]

i want her to look forward and be excited to see me, not me saying i can see you friday and her saying dont you normally go out on a friday.

I wanted her to be a bit gutted she wasnt going to see me last night, instead she was asking me if i minded that she just saw me at the weekend.

 

[marmel75]

I think you are the one who is insecure and overthinking things not her.