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DarwinTaurus

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So, after swearing off Dating Apps, I did decide to dip my toe into it again when I was recently interstate, to gauge the quality women from another location. Whilst impressed, I did make a connection with someone from my home town.

We matched previously, but she left the app. She claimed that she was overwhelmed, after entering the dating market for the first time after 6 years since her divorce.

Anyway, we matched again, and our communication has been great. She works in Government, like me, so intellectually, we appear to be on the same page.

We are meeting for coffee in a few days. She is from another culture to mine, but that doesn't bother me, in fact, i'm more than intrigued.

Anyway whist at work tonight, we were messaging for hours. She said at one point, that she likes men similar to the guy from "50 Shades of Grey". I've never watched those films, but I gather, aside from the sexual kinks, the character is very ALPHA? Personally, I hate to use labels, however, I would, if I have to, say I would be more Sigma than Alpha.

How do you think I should handle this? Try and be what she likes, or just be myself?
 

Divorced w 3

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Oh man. This is right in my wheelhouse however, If you have to ask how to be Christian Gray you’re fighting an up hill battle. Go watch. I would just dress sharp and go be push pull with a smile. Get the experience.

she wants you to be a gentleman and then take her back to your place and bend her over and give it to her hard.
 

DarwinTaurus

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Oh man. This is right in my wheelhouse however, If you have to ask how to be Christian Gray you’re fighting an up hill battle. Go watch. I would just dress sharp and go be push pull with a smile. Get the experience.

she wants you to be a gentleman and then take her back to your place and bend her over and give it to her hard.
I've never watched the films. I will have to download them when I get home from night shift, and watch on my last night shift. Good time waster at work.
 

pipeman84

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we were messaging for hours. She said at one point, that she likes men similar to the guy from "50 Shades of Grey".
First off, messaging for hours is a no-no. You think you're building rapport when in fact you're not. Secondly, why are you putting so much stock in what she messaged you while she was bored/being on the toilet, whatever she was doing? She told in solemnity to that guy she divorced they'll be together forever and that didn't mean much.

How do you think I should handle this? Try and be what she likes, or just be myself?
Are you really asking us if you should fake who you are in order to impress a divorcee from OLD? o_O
 

DarwinTaurus

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Coffee Dates are meh in my opinion...some guys do well at them but I find them to be boring as hell normally.
I wouldn't actually consider it a "date". More like a meet for the first time in person. We chat well, but I guess it's just to see if we have chemistry and connection in person. Then, if we do, a real date after that.
 

SW15

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Coffee Dates are meh in my opinion...some guys do well at them but I find them to be boring as hell normally.
That's how I perceive coffee dates as well. Coffee dates are difficult dates to escalate into a romantic connection. The ambiance at a coffee house isn't conducive to romance.

What typically happens on a coffee date is a perfectly pleasant time without a romantic connection. Without a romantic connection, there's no second date and the interaction ends.

That's a waste of time.

I don't ever suggest coffee dates. There have been a couple of times where a woman counteroffered me with a coffee date suggestion and I walked away because I don't do coffee dates.
 

JoyDivision1990

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She said at one point, that she likes men similar to the guy from "50 Shades of Grey".
What she's telling you is she prefers a man to be dominant in the bedroom and that she enjoys some kink - bondage, light S&M.

Why not rent the movie and see for yourself?
 

Barrister

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You sound like you are already putting far too much stock into this woman. About the most that can be said before a date is how good a woman looks. The fact she is also in government means nothing. The fact she is from another culture really doesn't mean anything one way or another when it comes to a simple hookup. It actually is probably a negative if you're looking for something more than plate status.

She is also divorced. Another strike. Nothing about this woman strikes me as "intriguing" from what you have described. Tread carefully because it sounds like you have the feels for this woman and she has given you nothing at this point.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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She's a fantasy chaser who wants you to spike her coffee, so she wakes up in your SM dungeon where she's punished with animalistic sex. Don't forget to spank her butt.
 

Divorced w 3

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I wouldn't actually consider it a "date". More like a meet for the first time in person. We chat well, but I guess it's just to see if we have chemistry and connection in person. Then, if we do, a real date after that.
Grab the coffee and go for a walk. The exercise will get her stimulated with the caffeine and then you can start conversing about all sorts of random things along the way. Feel the vibe and let the day take its course. Don’t force it. Push pull, eye contact, SMILE and if she starts giving off fvck me eyes you neg her and then maybe you’ll be able to walk her home or better yet walk by your home and invite her to see it cause, shucks were in the neighborhood anyway
 

Bingo-Player

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we were messaging for hours.
Too much , far too much

So, after swearing off Dating Apps, I did decide to dip my toe into it again when I was recently interstate, to gauge the quality women from another location. Whilst impressed, I did make a connection with someone from my home town.

She said at one point, that she likes men similar to the guy from "50 Shades of Grey". I've never watched those films, but I gather, aside from the sexual kinks, the character is very ALPHA? Personally, I hate to use labels, however, I would, if I have to, say I would be more Sigma than Alpha.
All women like this character because he unapologetically expects sex whilst fully focusing on using women for his own arousal which in turn seems to turn women on even more

Its not easy to actually execute this IRL especially if you already have feels for the chick

Also she needs to be in a very submissive polarity for this too work some women are like this naturally but others can be awkward
 
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