"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Unexpected 3rd date flank
- Thread starter wishyo
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Greasy Pig
Master Don Juan
Cool vid, Harry!
OP: I'm just wondering if the "everything went fine" text she sent you was meant for someone else like a friend wondering how the date went.
Just a thought.
OP: I'm just wondering if the "everything went fine" text she sent you was meant for someone else like a friend wondering how the date went.
Just a thought.
Tictac
Banned
Good stuff Harry!
It is not that easy to mess that up using iMessage.. It also took her about 60 minutes to text that..Greasy Pig said:
But I can see your thought, can be that she misstyped that to me, i directly asked her to meet again right away, she was nice and decided to not flake me and said "yes."
BUT she followed up on Wednesday, if she wouldn’t want to meet, she wouldnt text before me hoping that I will not meet.
Also, if we assume that she liked me and wanted to meet, what kind of text she should have come up seeing that I am not texting her after the date like most of the guys would have done?
Mb she assumed that for some reason I thought that I sucked or date sucked so she wanted to give me confidence. But that’s b/s theory doesn’t even worth the discussion as it didn’t suck
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I think I will text within next 20 minutes or so. Gentlemen, place your bets
I will text something like that I will stay in the city over the weekend, we can meet it. something like this, i am not sure about the exact wording
Now, getlemen, place your bets
a) No response
b) Something like "Yea, sure. Saturday will be good."
c) "Oh, I gee, I would love to, but I have XY b/s to do."
d) "place your own response"
I will go with B
then probably c, i dont think she will be that rude to dont even respond. Propose your outcome bets before a vote
I will text something like that I will stay in the city over the weekend, we can meet it. something like this, i am not sure about the exact wording
Now, getlemen, place your bets
a) No response
b) Something like "Yea, sure. Saturday will be good."
c) "Oh, I gee, I would love to, but I have XY b/s to do."
d) "place your own response"
I will go with B
then probably c, i dont think she will be that rude to dont even respond. Propose your outcome bets before a vote
Greasy Pig
Master Don Juan
Go get her OP!! Here's hoping she doesn't flake...
Oh yea, gotta wait 3 long days...
Next tricky thing is when to make a move as I suck when it finds to starting to kissing. IMO making this first physical or kissing step is so much more difficult in comparison to getting the actual *****. In case of *****, worst case will be like "I like u but slowdown"
As I said a have a thesis that she is a virgin and that she didn't have much or any dating experience... So it's a tricky one I don't want to be too aggressive, but I don't really wanna wait longer playing games. Once kissing stuff starts and we begin to date officially, it is much easier for me
Next tricky thing is when to make a move as I suck when it finds to starting to kissing. IMO making this first physical or kissing step is so much more difficult in comparison to getting the actual *****. In case of *****, worst case will be like "I like u but slowdown"
As I said a have a thesis that she is a virgin and that she didn't have much or any dating experience... So it's a tricky one
I don't want to be too aggressive, but I don't really wanna wait longer playing games. Once kissing stuff starts and we begin to date officially, it is much easier for meDecided to update wtf is going on with my case as I have found pretty useful advices in this thread and on the website in particular.
So lets start,
After she agreed to go out with me (after flaking one of our date) thru texting, we arranged to meet this Saturday and we pretty much spent whole day sightseeing, talking about random b/s and all that stuff..
To make it short, we met today (its sunday night where i live right now) as well (both dates were like 6-8 hours, i know its long and sh1t, but it is what it is) and at some point I decided to make a move and go ahead and kiss her. She was doing kino stuff all day long, but at the end she started to kino big time so I decided to kiss her as it was freaking nobrainer that she wanted it..
Good thing about that kiss was that she didnt reject, However, what was weird that our kiss was not really a french one (i tried to, but she wouldnt spread her mouth that much or move her tongue) This sh1t was so freaking awkward can't even explain, never had so awkward kiss it was freaking embarassing lol. I was speechless for like 30 seconds trying to figure out wtf happened, whether she wanted this or mb she was just "polite" and didnt want to hurt my feelings or so..
We then talked some more about our private lifes, bla bla etc. I then went for another attempt, it was same weird ****, i asked her whether she even ever kissed, she said yes, but needs time to get used to me... get used to me just for a kiss lol wtf srsly?
we then arranged a date for next saturday as i dont have much time during regular work week to meet.. what do you guys think is going on with her mind and what i should do or not? should i text her sometime just to talk about some general sh1t, should i try to find some time during regular work week to meet with her, should i remain silent and not that interested until our next date..
What is also interesting is how emotional i was last week (big hit to my ego by getting flaked by a girl) and how i dont really care about her now that much as i got what i wanted (got two long dates, got to kiss her, got to see her liking big time). I was actually thinking about finding some other girl as it would take a lot of time, i guess at least, to get laid by her... (she's virgin)
So lets start,
After she agreed to go out with me (after flaking one of our date) thru texting, we arranged to meet this Saturday and we pretty much spent whole day sightseeing, talking about random b/s and all that stuff..
To make it short, we met today (its sunday night where i live right now) as well (both dates were like 6-8 hours, i know its long and sh1t, but it is what it is) and at some point I decided to make a move and go ahead and kiss her. She was doing kino stuff all day long, but at the end she started to kino big time so I decided to kiss her as it was freaking nobrainer that she wanted it..
Good thing about that kiss was that she didnt reject, However, what was weird that our kiss was not really a french one (i tried to, but she wouldnt spread her mouth that much or move her tongue) This sh1t was so freaking awkward can't even explain, never had so awkward kiss it was freaking embarassing lol. I was speechless for like 30 seconds trying to figure out wtf happened, whether she wanted this or mb she was just "polite" and didnt want to hurt my feelings or so..
We then talked some more about our private lifes, bla bla etc. I then went for another attempt, it was same weird ****, i asked her whether she even ever kissed, she said yes, but needs time to get used to me... get used to me just for a kiss lol wtf srsly?
we then arranged a date for next saturday as i dont have much time during regular work week to meet.. what do you guys think is going on with her mind and what i should do or not? should i text her sometime just to talk about some general sh1t, should i try to find some time during regular work week to meet with her, should i remain silent and not that interested until our next date..
What is also interesting is how emotional i was last week (big hit to my ego by getting flaked by a girl) and how i dont really care about her now that much as i got what i wanted (got two long dates, got to kiss her, got to see her liking big time). I was actually thinking about finding some other girl as it would take a lot of time, i guess at least, to get laid by her... (she's virgin)
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
No.Danny
Master Don Juan
Bruh. Bruh slow down. You're going to scare her away! Never set up a date while on a date btw. And you're over thinking this. Maybe she's not a great kisser??
And no don't try to clear up your schedule. Live you're life. Make her WANT to spend time with you!!
And to the last part. SHE WAS SO HIGH UP YOUR PEDESTAL THAT now that you got what you wanted and your ego is back to normal. You start realizing that she's not that special.
And no don't try to clear up your schedule. Live you're life. Make her WANT to spend time with you!!
And to the last part. SHE WAS SO HIGH UP YOUR PEDESTAL THAT now that you got what you wanted and your ego is back to normal. You start realizing that she's not that special.
Greasy Pig
Master Don Juan
If she's a virgin, it's not strange that she's a shyt kisser. Hell, I've banged some of the loosest women imaginable and they were terrible kissers.
Just play it cool, keep kissing her and try to unlock her inner passion.
As for spinning plates. Good move.
Just play it cool, keep kissing her and try to unlock her inner passion.
As for spinning plates. Good move.
Never set up a date while on date. Hm...How then I should have played it? It sucks arranging for a date thru texting. It also not that easy to be "mysterious" as she knows that it is unlikely that we will meet during regular work week. She also leaves for vacations on 15th so technically we can meet only on the next weekend.No.Danny said:
After all that kissing/private stuff talking, I drove her home.. When I drove her, I just participated in whathever the f she was talking about. By the time we got to her house I told her that we should meet next weekend, she said "Yea, probably on Saturday" then she followed up with text asking how was the ride home etc.
What would have been the better play?
When we got to her place, I should have just said "bye?" (Yesterday she asked me to go for a dinner at her place, but her father was at home so I said I have to leave to meet a friend
)so guys, any tips on my next step?
we technically set up a date for this Saturday during our last date. I haven't get in touch with since last Sunday, she didnt either...
Here are the options I consider:
a) text her today/tomorrow telling that I have half day on Friday so we can meet on Friday and probably on Saturday as she said she is free whole day
b) wait until Friday night and ask/confirm that we meet on Saturday
c) text her on Friday night and tell her I cant make it on Saturday. (reason for this step is that to be honest I am not as excited to meet her this week as I was last week, so I can assume she is not either. We spent A LOT of time together last weekend. But her case is different in the sense that she might be more excited about our date as she is on summer break and she doesnt work=she has plenty of time=>probably she thought about me and probably excited to meet as there is probably not much going on in her life. That's my assumption
d) "your proposal"
What I want to do honestly deep inside is to meet her pretty much ASAP, but being too available or needy sucks too so...
we technically set up a date for this Saturday during our last date. I haven't get in touch with since last Sunday, she didnt either...
Here are the options I consider:
a) text her today/tomorrow telling that I have half day on Friday so we can meet on Friday and probably on Saturday as she said she is free whole day
b) wait until Friday night and ask/confirm that we meet on Saturday
c) text her on Friday night and tell her I cant make it on Saturday. (reason for this step is that to be honest I am not as excited to meet her this week as I was last week, so I can assume she is not either. We spent A LOT of time together last weekend. But her case is different in the sense that she might be more excited about our date as she is on summer break and she doesnt work=she has plenty of time=>probably she thought about me and probably excited to meet as there is probably not much going on in her life. That's my assumption
d) "your proposal"
What I want to do honestly deep inside is to meet her pretty much ASAP, but being too available or needy sucks too so...
I pretty much know exactly how you felt through all this. You're out of balance with yourself and you do see her as something special, which you MUST NOT mess up, what with all the circumstances and her being hot and all. This pushes you further out of balance as it increases pressure over you and you're very self-conscious about your actions do I act - how do I act - when do I act - why doesn't she reply - what does she mean by that - should I have sent something else???? This isn't helping you, you need to calm the fvck down, brother. Let me tell you something, women will never follow our logic, which would dictate you choose a) text her right now and tell her the maximum amount of time you two can spend together. Since she's got nothing much to do, it makes perfect sense, right? Well, the weird ass **** you felt when you kissed her and her response that she needs time to get used to you means she doesn't feel the attraction. She likes you, but her pulse doesn't raise when she sees you.
Do me a favor, do something different than what I did so many times - don't make plans on her without actually being with her.. be realistic, she needs to pick up speed and get to see you eye to eye and you have to let her do that on her own, making yourself abundant isn't helping, making yourself scarce, is. Value your time and women will value time they spend with you.
Do me a favor, do something different than what I did so many times - don't make plans on her without actually being with her.. be realistic, she needs to pick up speed and get to see you eye to eye and you have to let her do that on her own, making yourself abundant isn't helping, making yourself scarce, is. Value your time and women will value time they spend with you.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
To be honest, its just 11pm in the place where I live so I am bored as fvck, my buddy couldnt meet me today so I spent all evening at home
As for this girl, i am not too worried about her attraction. she is just 17 and probably is just shy and unexperienced... i mean she was the one doing all kino stuff, staring at me when we were sitting at the bench, probably she was expecting me to begin slowly by hugging, then talking about our private lifes and **** and then going for a kiss.. I was just too tired for that **** and wanted to figure out wtf was going on in her brain, she later even told me was surprised and didnt expect the kiss or any action as "you were sitting there acting shy."
That's the question, whether I am scarce or not. Besides our two dates last week, I havent talked to her, nothing so far this week so you can't really say I am making myself abundant.
Problem with texting her about me having a halfday on Friday is that it might look to her that I am desperate or just too excited to meet with her.
As for this girl, i am not too worried about her attraction. she is just 17 and probably is just shy and unexperienced... i mean she was the one doing all kino stuff, staring at me when we were sitting at the bench, probably she was expecting me to begin slowly by hugging, then talking about our private lifes and **** and then going for a kiss.. I was just too tired for that **** and wanted to figure out wtf was going on in her brain, she later even told me was surprised and didnt expect the kiss or any action as "you were sitting there acting shy."
That's the question, whether I am scarce or not. Besides our two dates last week, I havent talked to her, nothing so far this week so you can't really say I am making myself abundant.
Problem with texting her about me having a halfday on Friday is that it might look to her that I am desperate or just too excited to meet with her.
Bokanovsky
Master Don Juan
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You reek of insecurity of desperation (you said it yourself that you were "uber desperate" to meet her ASAP). Whatever initial attraction this girl felt towards you has likely been ruined by this.
Well, I don't really agree about this. Probably you didnt have time to read carefully my recent posts here.
All that emotional crap I put in first posts happened right after she flaked our date a week ago or so which was a very big hit to my ego and I overdramatized that here..
I mean dude on our last date she was the one asking to sit on the bench, after I sat first, she sat very close to me, started to "play", touch my legs with her legs. No freaking way uninterested girl would do that, that's really a no brainer. Even before that, when we went to a stupid zoo to watch some dolphin shyt, there was no place where we could sit together so I had to sit a row above her, she leaned with her back towards my leg and sat like this for 40minutes turning her head around every few minutes just to look at me and smile. I mean lol, she was actually enjoying watching those stupid dolphins doing their sh1t, she is just a young unexperienced girl. I think I am overthinking this big time
What is not that easy is how I am playing this week. Please elaborate about that, not about my first emo post
All that emotional crap I put in first posts happened right after she flaked our date a week ago or so which was a very big hit to my ego and I overdramatized that here..
I mean dude on our last date she was the one asking to sit on the bench, after I sat first, she sat very close to me, started to "play", touch my legs with her legs. No freaking way uninterested girl would do that, that's really a no brainer. Even before that, when we went to a stupid zoo to watch some dolphin shyt, there was no place where we could sit together so I had to sit a row above her, she leaned with her back towards my leg and sat like this for 40minutes turning her head around every few minutes just to look at me and smile. I mean lol, she was actually enjoying watching those stupid dolphins doing their sh1t, she is just a young unexperienced girl. I think I am overthinking this big time
What is not that easy is how I am playing this week. Please elaborate about that, not about my first emo post
Update (probably nobody cares, still worth a try as there been cool tips here)
So I decided to text her today
ME: Any plans for tomorrow? (1:15pm is the time I texted)
HB: Are getting off work early? (1:15pm)
ME: Technically – yes. (1:19pm I am off tomorrow whole day so I was trying to figure out how to plan this day, not wanting her to know that I have a day off)
ME: It is a long story. I got to take an exam and I have one meeting scheduled. But in fact, I am not going to actual office tomorrow.
HB: So when you will be free? (1:28pm)
ME: I don’t know exactly. Exam time is from 10 until 12, then I have to go for that meeting. So approximately somewhere in between 2pm to 5pm. I think it is a pretty accurate assumption.
HB: Alright, let’s make it simple and just meet on Saturday. I am not sure where I will be tomorrow, my mom said we gotta go somewhere.
ME: Ok. I was planning my Friday. Then it will be indeed a half day.
HB: Ok. Deal.
Let me analyze this. (I work in finance industry and I love to analyze, assume, find patterns etc. just about everything so this girl proves some more food for my brain. Besides that, my working day going very slow today)
First of all, she instantly texted back. It took like 5 seconds to text me back. Based on this we can assume that she is not with someone which is technically good to begin with. We can assume (weak reason) that she was waiting my text, she was happy to get it so she texted back the first thing which came to her mind so she could hear something back from, her text was with question mark in the end which assumes there will be an answer and therefore conversation will keep on going. Strong assumption=she doesn’t like to think (lol) or play mind games… So getting an instant response is rather a good sign.
Secondly, lying is not good, especially if one haven’t planned his legend, i.e. I havent thought thru the whole thing when I texted her. I just wanted to know if she has something on her mind, not set up the exact time and date for tomorrow lol.
Not that exciting observation is that she is not very desperate to meet, if she would have been desperate, she would agreed to meet ASAP as I offered her potential time when I will be done…
Good thing is that she kinda confirmed that we will meet on Saturday so at least there will be no b/s with her having sudden unexpected plans. Maybe she indeed needs to go somewhere tomorrow.
Yea, I am a bit nerdy and bored as fvck too.
So I decided to text her today
ME: Any plans for tomorrow? (1:15pm is the time I texted)
HB: Are getting off work early? (1:15pm)
ME: Technically – yes. (1:19pm I am off tomorrow whole day so I was trying to figure out how to plan this day, not wanting her to know that I have a day off)
ME: It is a long story. I got to take an exam and I have one meeting scheduled. But in fact, I am not going to actual office tomorrow.
HB: So when you will be free? (1:28pm)
ME: I don’t know exactly. Exam time is from 10 until 12, then I have to go for that meeting. So approximately somewhere in between 2pm to 5pm. I think it is a pretty accurate assumption.
HB: Alright, let’s make it simple and just meet on Saturday. I am not sure where I will be tomorrow, my mom said we gotta go somewhere.
ME: Ok. I was planning my Friday. Then it will be indeed a half day.
HB: Ok. Deal.
Let me analyze this. (I work in finance industry and I love to analyze, assume, find patterns etc. just about everything so this girl proves some more food for my brain. Besides that, my working day going very slow today)
First of all, she instantly texted back. It took like 5 seconds to text me back. Based on this we can assume that she is not with someone which is technically good to begin with. We can assume (weak reason) that she was waiting my text, she was happy to get it so she texted back the first thing which came to her mind so she could hear something back from, her text was with question mark in the end which assumes there will be an answer and therefore conversation will keep on going. Strong assumption=she doesn’t like to think (lol) or play mind games… So getting an instant response is rather a good sign.
Secondly, lying is not good, especially if one haven’t planned his legend, i.e. I havent thought thru the whole thing when I texted her. I just wanted to know if she has something on her mind, not set up the exact time and date for tomorrow lol.
Not that exciting observation is that she is not very desperate to meet, if she would have been desperate, she would agreed to meet ASAP as I offered her potential time when I will be done…
Good thing is that she kinda confirmed that we will meet on Saturday so at least there will be no b/s with her having sudden unexpected plans. Maybe she indeed needs to go somewhere tomorrow.
Yea, I am a bit nerdy and bored as fvck too.
Just one think I noticed if your texting is accurate. You are saying more than her in just about every text. Match them but never out text them. Try to simplify your texts. For example ( I changed how I would have responded)wishyo said:
HB: Are getting off work early? (1:15pm)
ME:Maybe sometime between 2-5
HB: So when you will be free? (1:28pm)
Me: Ill let ya know
HB:HB: Alright, let’s make it simple and just meet on Saturday. I am not sure where I will be tomorrow, my mom said we gotta go somewhere.
Me: Sat. will actually work better for me as well. Cya then
^this comes off less invested (I feel overall until your in a relationship you shoudnt be texting girls unless to set up dates, keep the text talk to low as possible)
If you really wanted to get her hampster wheel turning. Cancel the date Sat. about 30min-1hr before your supposed to meet. If she really likes you..this will get her big time. Just be sure to set up the next meet soon.
Be like "hey sorry some big stuff came up, lets reschedule soon"
then dont reply for a day or two. LoL its crazy but I have done this **** to success. (this is only if there equally or very interested in you)
Whatever you do keep playing it cool. She may be an awesome girl but she still ****s like the rest of us.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.