"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Unable to read this girl! - Need help

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In Motion

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Ok guys, I'm stumped. So a while ago I had major oneitis for this girl, she had it for me too but nothing ever happened because, because well its a damn long story which you children will have to hear another night. I got rid of the horrible decease after a while and moved on. I think I still might have some subconscious feelings for her, but thats another story.

Anyways, the way she is acting towards me is really strange. Things were awkward between us after we kissed and nothing more happened. (Long story, so theres a reason i didnt do anything about it.)

Things are more normal now though, still not back to what it used to be but w/e. Anyways, so sometimes when I see her or when shes with her friends she looks like shes really shy and sorta is trying not to talk to me. But when I do talk to her shes open, normal etc. Something really weird is that when I say something funny or just witty she'll laugh and giggle and make a real gigantic smile. Sometimes she seems to really want to initiate with me, like if I say something to my bud, she turns around and is like: "Oh really? Me too!" With a big smile on her face.

Now so far I havent bothered to do anything about it, just keeping in mind that if she doesnt give me more to work with Im not going to do anything about it. Ive already spent too much time on this girl, but I just have too find out what this means, you guys have any ideas? Need any more information?

- In Motion
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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In Motion

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Ok, basically it was because she said she didnt have the time for a me, with this being an important year in school adn having extreme amounts of **** to do. She still admitted that she had a major crush on me though.
 
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Warrior74

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Ask her out. see what happens. She gave you plenty to work with. Stop looking for a green light from her. She gave you tons of them. You are a man you are suppose to LEAD! Ask her for coffee. btw...women make time for men that are important to them. they may be busy...but they will find the time for you, just like you will find the time women you want to be with. So don't buy that excuse.
 
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In Motion

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Warrior74 said:
Ask her out. see what happens. She gave you plenty to work with. Stop looking for a green light from her. She gave you tons of them. You are a man you are suppose to LEAD! Ask her for coffee. btw...women make time for men that are important to them. they may be busy...but they will find the time for you, just like you will find the time women you want to be with. So don't buy that excuse.
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Usually in a situation like this i would go ask her out for coffee or w/e, but I already went down that road and I know she doesn't have time for a relationship this year. She is basically the only person who I can imagine having a relationship with, I get lots of action at parties so thats not the issue. Theres just something about this girl that I cant figure out....
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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slaog

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In Motion said:
Ok, basically it was because she said she didnt have the time for a me, with this being an important year in school adn having extreme amounts of **** to do. She still admitted that she had a major crush on me though.
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So she had a "major" crush on you but didn't want to go out with you... is she normal or have any issues?
 
M

MotownMack

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To be honest, the whole thing seems kinda pointless.

She doesn't have "time" (which btw, sounds like an excuse), and you don't sound like you're really willing to invest much more time in her (the details are sketchy at best, but it sounds like you went down that road).

And now you don't want to ask her out because she doesn't have time? How could expect this to possibly go anywhere or us to offer any advice if you're basically saying that trying to spend time with her isn't an option?

I am with Warrior74 on this one. Either look at it like she's mild resistance and push through it by getting some time with her, or just put her on the back burner.

The absolute last option at your disposal is getting her more attracted to you in more subtle ways, so she would be willing to give you time- but that would include more contact with her in less than obvious ways (just happening to be someplace where she is, for example), which will turn out to be more work than all of the above.
 
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In Motion

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slaog said:
So she had a "major" crush on you but didn't want to go out with you... is she normal or have any issues?
Click to expand...
Well, noone is completely normal 0_o will clarify below.


MotownMack said:
To be honest, the whole thing seems kinda pointless.

She doesn't have "time" (which btw, sounds like an excuse), and you don't sound like you're really willing to invest much more time in her (the details are sketchy at best, but it sounds like you went down that road).

And now you don't want to ask her out because she doesn't have time? How could expect this to possibly go anywhere or us to offer any advice if you're basically saying that trying to spend time with her isn't an option?

I am with Warrior74 on this one. Either look at it like she's mild resistance and push through it by getting some time with her, or just put her on the back burner.

The absolute last option at your disposal is getting her more attracted to you in more subtle ways, so she would be willing to give you time- but that would include more contact with her in less than obvious ways (just happening to be someplace where she is, for example), which will turn out to be more work than all of the above.
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Ok, first of all. I know that what I wrote was very lacking in details and logic. (Details thing is mostly because I dont like sharing personal stuff online.)

But I will clarify: The doesn't have time issue; first I thought it was just some bull****. But this chick has a fvckin loaded schedule! I didn't believe it! She has school work and work out every single day, and has no spare time. I still think it was a pretty bad excuse, I don't really have these issues, I don't really do anything in school (still get good grades :D). The point is; the girl really and truly doesnt have any free time!

Anyways, the reason I posted this was because I wanted your opinion on whether she might be interested or not, because then it would be worth trying to get her. Appreciate the honesty, I actually have to agree that it seems pointless, but no fvcking way if I am giving up.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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JackPrescott

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In Motion said:
Ok guys, I'm stumped. So a while ago I had major oneitis for this girl, she had it for me too but nothing ever happened because, because well its a damn long story which you children will have to hear another night. I got rid of the horrible decease after a while and moved on. I think I still might have some subconscious feelings for her, but thats another story.

Anyways, the way she is acting towards me is really strange. Things were awkward between us after we kissed and nothing more happened. (Long story, so theres a reason i didnt do anything about it.)

Things are more normal now though, still not back to what it used to be but w/e. Anyways, so sometimes when I see her or when shes with her friends she looks like shes really shy and sorta is trying not to talk to me. But when I do talk to her shes open, normal etc. Something really weird is that when I say something funny or just witty she'll laugh and giggle and make a real gigantic smile. Sometimes she seems to really want to initiate with me, like if I say something to my bud, she turns around and is like: "Oh really? Me too!" With a big smile on her face.

Now so far I havent bothered to do anything about it, just keeping in mind that if she doesnt give me more to work with Im not going to do anything about it. Ive already spent too much time on this girl, but I just have too find out what this means, you guys have any ideas? Need any more information?

- In Motion
Click to expand...
Ask her out. If she readily accepts and doesnt flake, she is interested. If she LJBFs your ass, or flakes she is playing flirt games.
 
M

MacAvoy

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Without the rest of the story, the advice that your going to get here is flawed because we are missing a key aspect.

More importantly though, you need to move on with your life.
 
D

DonGorgon

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MacAvoy said:
Without the rest of the story, the advice that your going to get here is flawed because we are missing a key aspect.

More importantly though, you need to move on with your life.
Click to expand...
I got all the info i needed its simple she was not interested enough to make time for him.....
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

I

In Motion

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JackPrescott said:
Ask her out. If she readily accepts and doesnt flake, she is interested. If she LJBFs your ass, or flakes she is playing flirt games.
Click to expand...
You could have bothered to read my post above yours :cheer:
 
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scottfall

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In Motion said:
You could have bothered to read my post above yours :cheer:
Click to expand...
Fine. Tell us what you want to hear and thats what well tell you...
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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