"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Ultimate Knowledge

zerocelcius

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2004
Messages
924
Reaction score
2
Age
47
Location
CA
If there was one thing you should stick in the back of your mind it is this:

There are more fish in the sea!!! Broken Hearted AFC’s around the world feast your eyes on this 411. There is no way in the world after seeing this you could ever give up or feel like you lost the only one that ever mattered to you. (Might make a good opener, that is if you don’t think you are above this kind of intellectual conversation, or because I used the phonetic combination ‘opener’)!


Population: 6,602,224,175 (July 2007 est.)

Age structure: 0-14 years: 27.4% (male 931,551,498/female 875,646,416)

15-64 years: 65.1% (male 2,174,605,518/female 2,124,494,703)

65 years and over: 7.5% (male 217,451,123/female 278,474,917) (2007 est.)

Median age: total: 28 years

male: 27.4 years

female: 28.7 years (2007 est.)

(Thanks to all the people at the friendly CIA and their effort towards the World Fact Book, Nice to know you are keeping tabs.. :cool: )

DID you see how many girls there are in this world... ?

IF that doesn't slap the stupid out your heads than nothing will.

The truth will set you free!

Don't get all wrapped up over that one girl that broke your hearts.

Glue them back together and go chat it up with the appropriate age group with in the 2,124,494,703 women out there.


* ask a girl to pick a # between 1 & 2,124,494,703 * JK:whistle:
 
Last edited:

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

zerocelcius

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2004
Messages
924
Reaction score
2
Age
47
Location
CA
Read It!!!
 

ligyron

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
74
Reaction score
0
Note that a lot of those are under 18, ugly, sickly, handicap, etc, which leaves us with only a billion girls or so
 

Potbelly

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 17, 2006
Messages
820
Reaction score
7
Location
USA
ligyron said:
Note that a lot of those are under 18, ugly, sickly, handicap, etc, which leaves us with only a billion girls or so
yes only a billion. how will we ever cope?
 

zerocelcius

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2004
Messages
924
Reaction score
2
Age
47
Location
CA
ligyron said:
Note that a lot of those are under 18, ugly, sickly, handicap, etc, which leaves us with only a billion girls or so


Sarge 1 billion girls!! :woo:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Top