Ugly duckling syndrome

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Sometimes I get a feeling that some girls are looking at me, as in interested in me (particularly in the gym) and I feel like I SHOULD go up and try to talk to them, but then I have the other parts of me talking saying no. Like this happens with some (who I would consider at least) real stunners, the types that every guy looks at. And I get them staring at me sometimes or trying to sneak looks in or almost like they are trying to find excuses to be around me for. And truthfully I kind of think that they're out of my league so I wouldn't know what to say even if I went up to them.

Some part of me swears they are interested, but then some other part tells me that I'm overthinking stuff and that they probably don't. Then there's another part saying that I'm overthinking and that's why I should just do it. Then I even think that they're just attention whoring.

I mean I know I'm attractive but there's just a few things that bother me a little bit. There are ok girls who could be attracted to me, then there are decent, and some hot ones just don't seem interested. And then the absolute stunners DO seem to show some interest for some reason. But maybe I just THINK they are cuz they're super hot. I don't know wha is wrong with me.

 

[youngprodigy]

Going through the some problem. I'm more attractive (physically) than the average person but when a 10/10 is staring at me I'm in denial.

One thing you gotta realize is that people don't see you the way you see yourself. You're never gonna get these opportunities again so just go for it.

 

[lizardking82]

There is probably something inside of you saying "you're not good enough for that", thus the hesitation. Happens to me, too, sometimes. It is an issue of self esteem.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

There is probably something inside of you saying "you're not good enough for that", thus the hesitation. Happens to me, too, sometimes. It is an issue of self esteem.

I don't think it's self esteem. Maybe more so fear or something. Like if I go to the gym and she's there again after I possibly get rejected, it would just be awkward. Other times they wear headphones so it's harder to strike up a convo if that's the case. I'm just thinking about it today because I saw this one stunner sneaking looks at me, even while 2 other dudes were talking to her later on.

The thing that I'm trying to understand is that it seems like chicks from 6 and lower show interest in me, and 7s and 8s don't, then chicks 9+ do, which just baffles me to no end. It's been like that for a lot of my life actually but I'm sad to say that I don't think I've ever acted on it because of the reasons above. I probably should just do it.... damn I suck.

 

[TheProspect]

A lot of people interpret events exclusively from their perspective, usually taking them personally (example: you'll tell yourself a female you're attracted to looking at you repeatedly means she is interested in you, whereas a male looking at you repeatedly means he has a problem with you). When you take simple things personally you magnify and overthink their significance. An individual looking at you or placing themselves in your general vicinity can mean just about anything and it doesn't always have to necessarily do with you. I like to glance at everyone in the gym, or my immediate surroundings wherever I am (I like being aware of what's around me), and when I look at someone it usually doesn't mean anything deeper than that.

You are perceiving these girls looking at you as a possible indicator of interest simply because you are interested in them. Psychology aside, the only true way to decipher whether she is interested or not is to actually talk to her, if you approach a girl who is "out of your league" the only sure thing that will happen is it will be easier the next time you go out of your way to approach a girl you've mentally placed on the same pedestal.

 

[lizardking82]

I don't think it's self esteem. Maybe more so fear or something. Like if I go to the gym and she's there again after I possibly get rejected, it would just be awkward. Other times they wear headphones so it's harder to strike up a convo if that's the case. I'm just thinking about it today because I saw this one stunner sneaking looks at me, even while 2 other dudes were talking to her later on.

The thing that I'm trying to understand is that it seems like chicks from 6 and lower show interest in me, and 7s and 8s don't, then chicks 9+ do, which just baffles me to no end. It's been like that for a lot of my life actually but I'm sad to say that I don't think I've ever acted on it because of the reasons above. I probably should just do it.... damn I suck.

Nah, you don't suck. I think you should watch some Julien RSD videos. He goes into detail very nicely about this.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

A lot of people interpret events exclusively from their perspective, usually taking them personally (example: you'll tell yourself a female you're attracted to looking at you repeatedly means she is interested in you, whereas a male looking at you repeatedly means he has a problem with you). When you take simple things personally you magnify and overthink their significance. An individual looking at you or placing themselves in your general vicinity can mean just about anything and it doesn't always have to necessarily do with you. I like to glance at everyone in the gym, or my immediate surroundings wherever I am (I like being aware of what's around me), and when I look at someone it usually doesn't mean anything deeper than that.

You are perceiving these girls looking at you as a possible indicator of interest simply because you are interested in them. Psychology aside, the only true way to decipher whether she is interested or not is to actually talk to her, if you approach a girl who is "out of your league" the only sure thing that will happen is it will be easier the next time you go out of your way to approach a girl you've mentally placed on the same pedestal.

I think you may be onto something here. I probably am at least somewhat projecting. I mean I was just thinking about one girl in particular though because she has done this on more than one occasion, that's why.

There was also something else that I wanted to address here and honestly this wasn't it, I can't remember what though.