ugh. wtf is up with this?

[insanity]

maybe she had a thing for her fvck buddy the whole time. don't let you inner afc out...your getting out of control. jealousy will make matters worse. just let go of her

 

[Dominicus]

easier said than done.

although i was able to go to the mall for a short period of time today. the only problem is it was mostly ugs and any hot chicks were with a guy.

 

[syed]

dude...just chalk it up to experience. Realize that it was your fault that she broke up with you. Yes, it sounds harsh...but it's also empowering. Once you come to realize that it was your fault, you will realize that you can make it different next time. Next time you wont be such a jerk. In a relationship, you can afford to have "nice guy" moments. In fact, you should definitely have some "nice guy" moments every now and then. Give her a sincere compliment. Take her out somewhere nice. Every now and then.

People go overboard on this site. They like to come on here with stories about how they were *******s to women, and how the women still liked them. People here glorify this ******* persona. It's ****ing lame, man. ESPECIALLY in a relationship. Look, if you are in a relationship and you feel like you are still using a persona, or not being yourself...it's doomed, man. Sooner or later, she's gonna sense that you're being fake.

There's only so many times you can be mysterious or be standoffish or not compliment or not call her or WHATEVER before she realizes she's not dating a human being, she's dating a set of rules.

So for now, soak up the misery. It's good for you. Enjoy it, endure it. Then, in a couple of weeks, start getting out into the field again. And this time you're going to be a little different. Tone it down a little. Don't be afraid to reveal a little more of you.

Experience is the hardest teacher...you get the test first and then the lesson after.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Most PUA tactics are designed to quickly attract and escalate women for quick hump & dumps.

But will these fast-approach tactics backfire over time? Are they like sprinting in a marathon? Will the callous "jerk" shtick wear thin over time in a relationship? Or do you have to keep it up to maintain relationships? What's the secret to keeping a loyal, faithful, supplicating LTR gf?

You hit a point close to my heart. If you're looking for a real relationship (LTR), all those "techniques" will not work in the long run! Those stupid games/techniques are made for stupid clubber/raver type of girls who are out only to have fun and are only good for short term fun (ONS). They are shallow girls who really do go for the "exciting jerk" and actually are attracted to guys who do not show much respect. Relationship-material girls DO NOT go for jerks in the long run. Also, keep in mind that the games/techniques (such as the whole jerk routine) tend to work less on more mature girls.

HOWEVER, being a completely supplicating guy is not attractive to ANY type of girl. I believe any "fast-approach" tactic is not suitable for LTR. I have never seen it work well. My friend got burned one year into a relationship. He built it quickly using mostly kino and in the end he got played.

I have lived with a girl who is in a 4 year LTR and anoter girl who had a
3-year LTR. Their boyfriends are not jerks by any means. In fact, a lot of self-righteous people on these forums who think they are tough sh1t might call them "AFCs". They are actually nice to their girlfriends! *GASP* :nervous: (That's right! Some girls actually do appreciate guys who respect them) They do stuff for their girlfriends. In turn, their girlfriends return the respect. That is how a real relationship is supposed to work. It does not have to boil down to games, being a jerk and thinking every minute about how to remain a "challenge".

I know girls talk sh1t sometimes, so when trying to figure out what the guys in those LTR's did right...I asked leading questions, meaning that I did not ask the girl directly what I was thinking. I asked her something that would indirectly give me an answer. That way I would minimize the "female bias" by routing my intended question around the BS barrier (you know the thing about what women SAY they want and what they REALLY want).

From what I have observed and found out, LTR material girls LIKE the relatively slow build up. They like it when they are left guessing if the guy really does dig them enough. It turns them on. Fast seduction crap will not fool them, or keep them for long.

In both instances, the guy just asked the girl out to places or visited them. It was not like "hey baby, let's get together". In both cases, the guy got the girl to bring up the idea of a relationship. They did this by slowly building up attraction by showing the girl they like her (through asking her out places), but NOT EVER DIRECTLY SAYING "HEY I LIKE YOU". This leads me to an important point....

NEVER, EVER TELL THE GIRL YOU LIKE HER EARLY ON. NEVER! In most cases, this will cause her to put up a shield, ESPECIALLY if she thinks it is unexpected. That is why you slowly draw her to that conclusion through ACTIONS. That way she absorbs the idea of you two together in small bites and it does not seem so scary. You "grow" on her this way which never happens in fast-seduction type of techniques. That is where the long-lastingness stems from. Allowing your personality to grow on her.

When she accepts you as a person and not simply as a seducer, the relationship can have long lasting potential. You may be accepted as a seducer by acting like a jerk and playing games for a while, but you will not be accepted as a person....so it will not last long in the end.

The most important question you need to ask yourself is what you want. Do you want a LTR or do you want to be the short-term seducer? You can't have both. Then go from there.

 

[bossdog]

simple really. your messing around with a young and dumb girl. she doesnt know what she wants.

 

[Dominicus]

thanks for all the input guys, especially TillTheEndOfTime. i just wish i knew this info before the relationship got sour. she doesnt even want to be friends with me anymore, so this ended pretty badly (she wont even talk to me on the phone anymore) and to answer the question, i am looking for LTR material where the girl is also one of my best friends, not ONS stuff.

i guess hindsight IS 20/20

oh well, "sarge on"...

 

[Last Man Standing]

i dunno. i just cant believe that it was actually my fault. i miss her a lot and im way too depressed to go out and meet new chicks. she wont even talk to me anymore and has already brought her old fvck buddy back. im so jealous i dont know what to do. i need a picker upper, b/c this is the lowest i've ever felt in my entire lifetime.

Hold on!! You said you both lost your virginity to each other and now you say she had a pimp before you and he is now back? HUH????

Dude, don't blame yourself - she was going to screw around with other dudes regardless of your behavior - you are just a convenient escape goat and she is making it seem as if you are the problem!!! Don't apologize to her --- she was definitely screwing other dudes when she was with you -- you just don't know about it!!!

Trust me - she was going to have other pimps besides you - you were just the next pimp in line - or more correctly stated, the first pimp in line!!!!

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

Ok, let me break this down to you guys real nice and slow. The god damn divorce rate is 70%. Any attempt to have a lasting relationship is FUTILE. FULTILE! That means not worth any effort at all. Nada. Zip. Women are all god damn feminist b*tches and want to be men, for some god awful reason. Its true. Argue with me all you want, but I'll say it again, this is completely futuile. Just use the god damn women for sex, because if you want anything worthwhile, like a lasting relationship... and i mean LASTING, then forget about it. Do what I'm doing... make a god damn time machine so you can go back in time when women were women.

 

[wayword]

You hit a point close to my heart. If you're looking for a real relationship (LTR), all those "techniques" will not work in the long run! Those stupid games/techniques are made for stupid clubber/raver type of girls who are out only to have fun and are only good for short term fun (ONS). They are shallow girls who really do go for the "exciting jerk" and actually are attracted to guys who do not show much respect. Relationship-material girls DO NOT go for jerks in the long run. Also, keep in mind that the games/techniques (such as the whole jerk routine) tend to work less on more mature girls.

HOWEVER, being a completely supplicating guy is not attractive to ANY type of girl. I believe any "fast-approach" tactic is not suitable for LTR. I have never seen it work well. My friend got burned one year into a relationship. He built it quickly using mostly kino and in the end he got played.

I have lived with a girl who is in a 4 year LTR and anoter girl who had a
3-year LTR. Their boyfriends are not jerks by any means. In fact, a lot of self-righteous people on these forums who think they are tough sh1t might call them "AFCs". They are actually nice to their girlfriends! *GASP* :nervous: (That's right! Some girls actually do appreciate guys who respect them) They do stuff for their girlfriends. In turn, their girlfriends return the respect. That is how a real relationship is supposed to work. It does not have to boil down to games, being a jerk and thinking every minute about how to remain a "challenge".

I know girls talk sh1t sometimes, so when trying to figure out what the guys in those LTR's did right...I asked leading questions, meaning that I did not ask the girl directly what I was thinking. I asked her something that would indirectly give me an answer. That way I would minimize the "female bias" by routing my intended question around the BS barrier (you know the thing about what women SAY they want and what they REALLY want).

From what I have observed and found out, LTR material girls LIKE the relatively slow build up. They like it when they are left guessing if the guy really does dig them enough. It turns them on. Fast seduction crap will not fool them, or keep them for long.

In both instances, the guy just asked the girl out to places or visited them. It was not like "hey baby, let's get together". In both cases, the guy got the girl to bring up the idea of a relationship. They did this by slowly building up attraction by showing the girl they like her (through asking her out places), but NOT EVER DIRECTLY SAYING "HEY I LIKE YOU". This leads me to an important point....

NEVER, EVER TELL THE GIRL YOU LIKE HER EARLY ON. NEVER! In most cases, this will cause her to put up a shield, ESPECIALLY if she thinks it is unexpected. That is why you slowly draw her to that conclusion through ACTIONS. That way she absorbs the idea of you two together in small bites and it does not seem so scary. You "grow" on her this way which never happens in fast-seduction type of techniques. That is where the long-lastingness stems from. Allowing your personality to grow on her.

When she accepts you as a person and not simply as a seducer, the relationship can have long lasting potential. You may be accepted as a seducer by acting like a jerk and playing games for a while, but you will not be accepted as a person....so it will not last long in the end.

The most important question you need to ask yourself is what you want. Do you want a LTR or do you want to be the short-term seducer? You can't have both. Then go from there.

Wow, Till, I think that is the only logical reply I've ever heard on this question YET! :cheer:

So, the PUA fast approach actually backfires for LTRs...as for an LTR, you actually want to do the OPPOSITE...build up sllloowwww, not FAST. Spend a loong time qualifying her, before you even choose to bone her, for example. Just like pacing yourself for a marathon, instead of a sprint. And then, the relationship can also be sustained with mutual effort, instead of your cheap jerk routine, which will likely wear very thin pretty fast...

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Wow, Till, I think that is the only logical reply I've ever heard on this question YET! :cheer:

So, the PUA fast approach actually backfires for LTRs...as for an LTR, you actually want to do the OPPOSITE...build up sllloowwww, not FAST. Spend a loong time qualifying her, before you even choose to bone her, for example. Just like pacing yourself for a marathon, instead of a sprint. And then, the relationship can also be sustained with mutual effort, instead of your cheap jerk routine, which will likely wear very thin pretty fast...

I like your analogy of sprinting vs the marathon. Very good!
A 100 m sprinter cannot employ the same strategy as a 5 km marathon runner. If the marathon runner tries to sprint like the 100 m runner, he will burn out just like a relationship built on fast-seduction type of techniques.

In the past, there are been quite a few cries for a forum specifically for LTR. I am not sure what happened with that.

 

[syed]

Ok, let me break this down to you guys real nice and slow. The god damn divorce rate is 70%. Any attempt to have a lasting relationship is FUTILE. FULTILE! That means not worth any effort at all. Nada. Zip. Women are all god damn feminist b*tches and want to be men, for some god awful reason. Its true. Argue with me all you want, but I'll say it again, this is completely futuile. Just use the god damn women for sex, because if you want anything worthwhile, like a lasting relationship... and i mean LASTING, then forget about it. Do what I'm doing... make a god damn time machine so you can go back in time when women were women.

Cmon dude, that's retarded. Just because the divorce rate is 70% doesn't mean you should never try a relationship. Just because something is doomed from the start doesn't mean you wont get anything out of it. Hey, the chances of me dying at some point are 100%...is living futile? I'm planning to graduate college next year...should I not bother with making new friends there?

People on this site need a reality check: when's the last time you really felt something for a woman? If it's been a while, shouldn't that worry you? Are you sure you're really living?

 

[Dominicus]

im sorry i didnt clarify. they werent "fvck buddies" in the exact term. he was a guy who is 4 or so years older than her and would do everything BUT sex (it would be illegal with the age difference for them to have sex). im positive she lost her virginity to me. it still doesnt make me feel better now, b/c im sure that they are going to start having sex.

yea, i think it was more than this whole jerk thing, but she wont tell me. when i called her to talk, she just yelled at me: "i dont want to talk to you ever again"

im trying to go out and meet new people now. i tried again today. its just so hard b/c i'm so ****ing depressed.

 

[blueguy]

Never pay attention to what a girl says...

The only thing you can take with you throughout your life is yourself. Don't change for a girl. Most of the time what she says isn't what she wants anyway, and they end up with guys who are the exact opposite of what they said they wanted (personally experienced this).

 

[Dominicus]

well, even tho she told me that she didnt want to talk to me, she recently admited that she still had feelings for me.

also, im really good friends with her best friend. (i know what you're thinking, but i trust her). anyway, i talked to her about all of this and she actually sided with me on a lot of things. she said that my ex isnt mature enough. she also said that she didnt want to talk to me b/c she still likes me. wtf is up with this? if she still likes me, why did she break up with me? im not gonna do anything with her cause she pissed me off with the immature way she was acting, but still. comments on the new developements?

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

Cmon dude, that's retarded. Just because the divorce rate is 70% doesn't mean you should never try a relationship. Just because something is doomed from the start doesn't mean you wont get anything out of it. Hey, the chances of me dying at some point are 100%...is living futile? I'm planning to graduate college next year...should I not bother with making new friends there?

People on this site need a reality check: when's the last time you really felt something for a woman? If it's been a while, shouldn't that worry you? Are you sure you're really living?

I'm all for finding the right girl, all I'm saying is the chances are less than winning the lottery... of course I'm speaking for myself, I can't speak for others