"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Turning ex to a fb

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Don Juan
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Long story short - we broke up over a year ago. NC for over 10 months or so. Not butthurt about sh1t anymore. Got back in touch recently - exchanged a few messages on fb.

Point being that I aint gonna be seeing her for the next few months. And when I do I wanna bang her a few times, for old times sake.

I was thinking if I continue to be in touch with her, I should keep it short, not ask too many questions about her, and implicitly show her that things are great right now.

Thoughts?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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betheman

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try being honest with her, ..."Im not looking for anything serious or heavy at the moment, still too young. we were good in bed though, we should follow that up"

you could get shot down in flames but my ex suggested this to me last weekend, I was devastated...not!

thing is your ex might be thinking the same thing, the fact you can appear to detatch your emotions shows confidence also that she has lost that bit of you, quite intriguing. I say go for it...providing you can handle se x only and not get onitis all over again
 

Dominance

Don Juan
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It's difficult to do. I've kind of done it.

I broke up with this girl for nearly a year and contacted her because the sex was good, I was honest and direct that I didn't want a relationship or anything serious and she asked "so **** buddies" and I said "yes" and she agreed to it.

The problem is I can tell she has developed more feelings which shouldn't have been a surprise and sends me alot of messages. BUT I see her like every 2 weeks or so and have sex with her when I want for like the last 6 months or so and she hasn't complained.

But seeing she is your ex she will probably develop feelings again as this girl has for me. Also be careful if you are just her FB not to develop feelings for her as you could get hurt.
 

seethehoop

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Fb's don't work in my experience, tried 3 times. First time I got too involved, 2ND time she did, now the 3rd is the same girl from the 1st time and we are both getting too involved, her more than me though so at moment I'm happy playing it out.
 

pdx1138

Master Don Juan
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seethehoop said:
Fb's don't work in my experience, tried 3 times. First time I got too involved, 2ND time she did, now the 3rd is the same girl from the 1st time and we are both getting too involved, her more than me though so at moment I'm happy playing it out.
it usually does end up lopsided like that for one of them.

I managed to turn an ex into an FB for a year til I got bored of her.

not sure I'd do that again. plenty of women out there.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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