Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Trying to figure out if men are leaving or are getting more thirsty

biggoal

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What if a mans eco system consist of hobbies that don't include women? Martial arts, motorcycle riding, guitar etc?
That's been talked about before on here. That is a fact us guys generally have hobbies and likes that don't include many women. Guns, fishing, cars, Martial Arts, etc.

I mean I'm just not into hobbies that attract ladies. I just find them boring. Just like I'm sure they find our hobbies boring. Sure, some ladies like guns or hunting for example but not very many are into that kind of stuff. I like firearms and stuff that goes boom. Many women don't like the loud nosies of gun fire or guns in general. At least that's a complaint I hear women say about guns is the loud noise of the gun fire.
 

corrector

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Hey he asked an obvious question so I had to give an obvious answer.

“what happens if I don’t have access to women?”

Then you become a needy Incel and your romantic life is going to suck.

I dont know what else people want me to say.
You wouldn't have a romantic life if you are needy incel. Romantic life sucks when you don't have dating options and are stuck to deal with the hang-ups and issues of the first girl breadcrumbing you and then her gladly moving on to another guy or treating you badly when she gets tired of the relationship or it doesn't work out and you are back to square one or day one of a potentially eternal dry-spell again which quadruples the effect of any break-up. Romantic life sucks if you are a nearcel. (a tier above incel) because you put up with nonsense.
 

BURT MCQUEEN

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Queer.

Fvck that guy, he sounds like a feminist and uses femmine behavior/logic but on men's side. He' s totally blue pilled beta AFC c0ck svcker.

He complains like a bietch, doesn't says nothing valuable, everyone is a smart azz and Redpilled alpha on youtube nowadays.

He needs TRT, cause he seeps estrogen
 
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DelayedGratification

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You wouldn't have a romantic life if you are needy incel. Romantic life sucks when you don't have dating options and are stuck to deal with the hang-ups and issues of the first girl breadcrumbing you and then her gladly moving on to another guy or treating you badly when she gets tired of the relationship or it doesn't work out and you are back to square one or day one of a potentially eternal dry-spell again which quadruples the effect of any break-up. Romantic life sucks if you are a nearcel. (a tier above incel) because you put up with nonsense.
Good distinction. And while it's never an excuse to stop improving your circumstance, the dynamic you describe doesn't get enough validation around here.

Abundance mindset is helpful, no argument. But sometimes the cold truth is that the mindset doesn't match the reality around you. That your demographics, geography, life circumstance, etc put you in a scarcity environment, no matter how many internal pep-talks you give your brain. Sure, you can "work on yourself", but there are some dials that can't be turned easily.

My own situation is very much tied to having four more years of co-parenting. Until that passes, I can't move to a place of more abundance. Of more opportunities to expand myself as a person socially (higher-quality people with which to mingle, more cultural groups and events, etc). I can't free up my calendar and mental bandwidth that are blocked off by parenting my kids, and dealing with my ex along the way.

So yeah, my self-improvement is important, and I do see some concrete results as well as more potential. But given the current circumstance of my life, it's difficult not to acknowledge that there's an upper limit until those circumstances change.
 

Spaz

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I think OLD is okay if you're in a major metro area with lots of single, working aged women. Otherwise, I think it's a big waste of time. Like around this region you see the same handful of women on everyday. Simply a waste of time. When you see maybe 30 HB7 or above women on there on a regular basis and probably have a few thousand guys on there competing for them. More outnumbered than the Axis on the Eastern Front of 10-1.

OLD again, okay in large cities with lots of younger women, but otherwise in older or less populated areas it's a waste of time IMO. Still not ideal though overall.
I'm worried about ur IQ.
 

MatureDJ

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The average single woman nowadays is in their 30s desperately trying to find love while treating every date like a job interview. Who would sign up for that? Lol. That’s why I don’t believe in dating. It’s a female hobby. And it’s desperate.

Most of my dealings with women are usually just instant hookups, or hanging out as friends and then hooking up, or naturally getting into a relationship after knowing each other for awhile as friends.

I haven’t been on a date since 2009. And I remember it was awkward as hell. Like an interrogation. The woman spent 15 minutes talking about how I said I was agnostic but at the same time talked about wanting to go to church. She wouldn’t let it go lol. So I just got up and left. Because I knew she was a serial dater/insane/jaded/past her expiration date. She’s been pumped and dumped so many times that she was looking for contradictions in every trivial thing I said. I feel bad for any guy who has to put up with her.

This is the result of dating. Two strangers unable to tolerate each other. Dating is not natural.

What does my post have anything to do with the topic? It’s simple. Stop dating. Take yourself off the market. The market is what the OP describes. It’s like a zombie apocalypse of insane people. Supplicating cucks and entitled women. Delete all your dating apps.

Only strangers go on dates. And then they try to force chemistry and connection. 150 dates later they are still looking for the “one”. It’s insane. Female serial daters are insane and have no idea how to find love. Leave them for the supplicating cucks.

This is the reality that you guys are complaining about. But you don’t have to be in this reality.

How do I meet women if I don’t date? Through my hobbies. Every time I get together with a woman it is framed as “hanging out.” No one is interrogating the other trying to force chemistry. And we only hang out after there is mutual attraction and interest. This is the natural way. Nature takes its course in these situations. It is organic and not forced. I either hook up with them or get into a relationship if it makes sense. And neither of us is actually in the dating market either. We are not open to the insane world.

You can either live in the insane world or live in your own world. If you had a life and hobbies, there would be plenty of women in your ecosystem.

Meeting people naturally in your social environment is what leads to serendipity.

I can go out to the bars and clubs too and meet attractive women all day long. But there’s no connection/commonalities/chemistry. There’s also like a 10% chance I am able to tolerate them.

When you create a life for yourself, you automatically filter out toxic people. And from that pool you can choose women that are on your wavelength.

Dating means you go into a toxic environment and try to find a diamond in the rough. It’s like backwards.

Men naturally dominate social environments. That’s what we are built for. Women invented going on dates with strangers and interviewing them.

Does it make sense to follow a woman’s number 1 hobby?
This is one of the best posts I've seen here in a long time. I am tired of meeting decently attractive women that have no interest in me; I'd rather spend my time & money on "commercial dating" that way at least I'm being given the illusion that they are interested in me.
 

Chronocidal

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Unfortunately there is what I would call a black hole when it comes to a person’s romantic life...
The first ingredient for romance is a shared social environment. Don’t worry about the next ingredient. Get the first one right first. This is the ingredient that everyone who struggles seem to lack.
This is all merely a restatement of the problem that the other poster mentioned, i.e., that social-circle game isn't meaningfully available to those whose interests don't yield the social-circle demographics required for said game.
 

zekko

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Average single or sexless man is thirsty , but the top tier men are not really into any relationship , they keep dating and hooking up but never want more
This is simply not true. Take Brad Pitt and George Clooney, two men who are held up as examples of desirable men. Both are or have been married. Now they may cheat I suppose, but it clearly shows they see value in relationships, and want something beyond casual. Those are only two examples, but there are endless others.
 

Serenity

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Any opinion about it, it seems to that its either one or the other (with all due exceptions ofc).
Both I'd say. This is what comes from centering oneself around women, extreme avoidance or extreme engagement. People in general also seem to simply not know how to properly interact with the opposite sex, leading to weird behaviors or just avoiding it altogether. This is worsened by the fact that so much importance is placed on the opposite sex, some people act as if their life depends on it.

I think many new guys on this forum go into it too hard, I sure did. Some keep hammering on until they become fed up with it and go MGTOW, some never get to that stage and a few figure out the riddle.

It's not about going one way or the other. I see a billion false dichotomies every week, it's like most other people's brains are just incapable of seeing more than 2 options. In this analog reality there are ALWAYS more than 2 options, most people are just either too stupid or too lazy to think of more than 2. It's not a paradox at all, both things can coexist and there most definitely are more than 2 ways. Sadly, many men fail to realize this and fall into 1 of the 2 typical categories, go crazy trying to get women or quit all of it.

I remove my focus around it instead, this is not the same as giving up by actively avoiding it. It's to just not let it be the ambient theme of my life, convert it into something entirely situational. When the opportunity makes it relevant I'll focus on it, the moment the object of focus is out of sight I "forget" about it.

Women end up saying these seemingly paradoxical things because they meet the same type of man, but at different stages. The desperate ugly PUA wannabe guy who even I find repulsive is at an earlier stage, then she meets the same type of man but at a later stage, he has failed and now generally avoid women. The later stage guy may finally begin to possess some masculine traits, but he's so jaded from his earlier days that he dislikes women and keeps them at a distance. So yeah, it's just that these women see the same type of man, an extreme man as opposed to a balanced man. Women don't seem to quickly realize there's more than 2 options either, so they complain about it while not even considering the existence of other types of men.

It boils down to a lack of awareness about others, oneself and the nature of reality. Fvck dualism, binary doesn't exist in reality, only within the conceptual confines of our minds.
 

Spaz

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I think OLD is okay if you're in a major metro area with lots of single, working aged women. Otherwise, I think it's a big waste of time. Like around this region you see the same handful of women on everyday. Simply a waste of time. When you see maybe 30 HB7 or above women on there on a regular basis and probably have a few thousand guys on there competing for them. More outnumbered than the Axis on the Eastern Front of 10-1.

OLD again, okay in large cities with lots of younger women, but otherwise in older or less populated areas it's a waste of time IMO. Still not ideal though overall.
Name 10 great things about yourself.

If 10 is too much then just 3 will do.
 

biggoal

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Name 10 great things about yourself.

If 10 is too much then just 3 will do.
Look young for my age, in shape

career minded, own my own business

outgoing

educated

adventurous
 

Chronocidal

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Social environment is also how most people get together. It’s not a problem for most people but apparently having a social life seems to be an impossibility amongst the manosphere crowd.
You seem to be willfully evading the point; they're not saying that they can't "have a social life", but that the social life being created by their interests lacks the supply of desirable women, and that the tactic of using hobbies to create a social circle with a lot of available women in it is thus flawed if any likely social life created therefrom is a sausage-fest.
 

AttackFormation

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You seem to be willfully evading the point; they're not saying that they can't "have a social life", but that the social life being created by their interests lacks the supply of desirable women, and that the tactic of using hobbies to create a social circle with a lot of available women in it is thus flawed if any likely social life created therefrom is a sausage-fest.
Well, there is no solution. You can either work through social spheres, or have enough looks and status to compensate for not having any. If you have neither social spheres nor enough LMS to make up for that, then yea youre ****ed. Thats just reality.
 

Spaz

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Look young for my age, in shape

career minded, own my own business

outgoing

educated

adventurous
You don't look young.

You don't look in shape, just by looking at ur shoulders it's obvious that you're skinny and waif looking.

You're not outgoing since u r preoccupied with OLD.

U r also not adventurous since you don't have the built plus u r preoccupied with OLD.

However you're got 2 small talents which is nothing to shout about, reasonably educated (nothing special abt that) and ur own small business (also nothing special there).

I asked for something great.

Seems it's difficult.

How abt you just name 1 singular great thing about you?
 

biggoal

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You don't look young.

You don't look in shape, just by looking at ur shoulders it's obvious that you're skinny and waif looking.

You're not outgoing since u r preoccupied with OLD.

U r also not adventurous since you don't have the built plus u r preoccupied with OLD.

However you're got 2 small talents which is nothing to shout about, reasonably educated (nothing special abt that) and ur own small business (also nothing special there).

I asked for something great.

Seems it's difficult.

How abt you just name 1 singular great thing about you?
Then why do these women you see on OLD for 12 hours a day, YES you see women and attractive, non fake women who use OLD like 12 hours a day you see them or on there everyday and they list themselves as outgoing on their profiles yet they use OLD all day long? If they're so outgoing why are they on OLD every single day for months?
 

Spaz

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Then why do these women you see on OLD for 12 hours a day, YES you see women and attractive, non fake women who use OLD like 12 hours a day you see them or on there everyday and they list themselves as outgoing on their profiles yet they use OLD all day long? If they're so outgoing why are they on OLD every single day for months?
I'm talking about you.

Why are you trying to change the subject?

Name one thing that's great about you.
 

evan12

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This is simply not true. Take Brad Pitt and George Clooney, two men who are held up as examples of desirable men. Both are or have been married. Now they may cheat I suppose, but it clearly shows they see value in relationships, and want something beyond casual. Those are only two examples, but there are endless others.
George Clooney waited too long to get married, I would consider him a prove of my statement rather than a disqualify to it.
 

zekko

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George Clooney waited too long to get married, I would consider him a prove of my statement rather than a disqualify to it.
You said top tier men never want more than dating or hooking up, so I took your statement at face value.
Having more options might make a man more picky or less likely to get involved, but it certainly doesn't preclude them ever wanting to have a relationship of some sort.
 

Alvafe

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You said top tier men never want more than dating or hooking up, so I took your statement at face value.
Having more options might make a man more picky or less likely to get involved, but it certainly doesn't preclude them ever wanting to have a relationship of some sort.
you guys forget, there is something all men have, that illussion of having a happy life like they had with they family as children, mommy daddy with him, remeber that is also enforced, everyone expect you to date or have someone to eventually marry, if you don't, you are considered broken, don't matter how good you are.

also take note holywood fuelled fame, is not top tier, they look top tier and sell the image, with most people buy, if they didn't not point is selling it, they hardly have the mentality, plus the way actors tend to pair, they are incapable of separating real life, with they acting, they get missed a lot, remember most top tier actors tend to pair with others top tier actors they worked as a romantically pair in the screen


for topic, it can bve both actually, guys wanting just a hole to unload is nothing new, going after ugly woman normally come down to the woman is hot but is annoying as fuc|<, hence why she is jealous of the woman she consider uglyer then her

plus remember you never can take serious media, they will try to sell something to you, don't matter if is the truth or not, so you can't trust
 

zekko

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also take note holywood fuelled fame, is not top tier, they look top tier and sell the image
They are most definitely top tier, nothing beats fame/status/celebrity when it comes to SMV.

That said, fame aside, even in regular real life, no one is going to convince me that no top shelf attractive guy is ever going to want to be in a relationship, that they will all just singlemindedly seek casual hookups forever. Also, wanting to have a family is not an illusion, and I say this as someone who has never wanted children.
 
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