"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Trying to break a habit

Vanilla

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Ever since the first week since college started, I've been introducing myself to every person that I sit next to.

Problem is, I usually fluff talk first, then towards the end of the class I shake hands and tell them my name and ask for hers. Is that a bad thing? It certainly doesn't help me remember their names.

Next week I'm off hunting for phone numbers. The first week I needed help getting out of my safety zone since I worked at home all summer.

Thanks in advance.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Lomi

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well i will comment on remembering names, a tried and true way to help you remember is to repeat it back, so like You: "By the way my name is Joe." Her: "I am Cindy." You: "Was nice chatting with your Cindy, would you like to get together sometime so we can continue our conversation?"

that helps me remember names.
 

I'm Joe Dirt

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Yep, repeating names has a twofold effect. Number one it helps you remember and number two it personalizes the conversation so the other person feels like you're focused on the conversation and not just making small talk.
 

Vanilla

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Originally posted by Lomi
well i will comment on remembering names, a tried and true way to help you remember is to repeat it back, so like You: "By the way my name is Joe." Her: "I am Cindy." You: "Was nice chatting with your Cindy, would you like to get together sometime so we can continue our conversation?"

that helps me remember names.
I've tried doing that, but the more names I have, it's hard to figure out what name goes to what face.

My main concern though, is it natural to introduce myself when I'm leaving?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Vincent

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Originally posted by Vanilla
My main concern though, is it natural to introduce myself when I'm leaving?
No, but it's a problem I think most of us have faced, I know I have. It's a lot easier to just get the conversation rolling then having to work in the whole "Hi my names Vincent" bit. You really just need to bite the bullet and introduce yourself almost immedietely or halfway through. This will give you a more personal conversation then just the late introduction.
 
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