"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Trying to break a habit

Vanilla

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Ever since the first week since college started, I've been introducing myself to every person that I sit next to.

Problem is, I usually fluff talk first, then towards the end of the class I shake hands and tell them my name and ask for hers. Is that a bad thing? It certainly doesn't help me remember their names.

Next week I'm off hunting for phone numbers. The first week I needed help getting out of my safety zone since I worked at home all summer.

Thanks in advance.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Lomi

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well i will comment on remembering names, a tried and true way to help you remember is to repeat it back, so like You: "By the way my name is Joe." Her: "I am Cindy." You: "Was nice chatting with your Cindy, would you like to get together sometime so we can continue our conversation?"

that helps me remember names.
 

I'm Joe Dirt

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Yep, repeating names has a twofold effect. Number one it helps you remember and number two it personalizes the conversation so the other person feels like you're focused on the conversation and not just making small talk.
 

Vanilla

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Originally posted by Lomi
well i will comment on remembering names, a tried and true way to help you remember is to repeat it back, so like You: "By the way my name is Joe." Her: "I am Cindy." You: "Was nice chatting with your Cindy, would you like to get together sometime so we can continue our conversation?"

that helps me remember names.
I've tried doing that, but the more names I have, it's hard to figure out what name goes to what face.

My main concern though, is it natural to introduce myself when I'm leaving?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Vincent

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Originally posted by Vanilla
My main concern though, is it natural to introduce myself when I'm leaving?
No, but it's a problem I think most of us have faced, I know I have. It's a lot easier to just get the conversation rolling then having to work in the whole "Hi my names Vincent" bit. You really just need to bite the bullet and introduce yourself almost immedietely or halfway through. This will give you a more personal conversation then just the late introduction.
 
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