Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Trying to break a habit

Vanilla

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 21, 2003
Messages
254
Reaction score
3
Age
41
Location
California
Ever since the first week since college started, I've been introducing myself to every person that I sit next to.

Problem is, I usually fluff talk first, then towards the end of the class I shake hands and tell them my name and ask for hers. Is that a bad thing? It certainly doesn't help me remember their names.

Next week I'm off hunting for phone numbers. The first week I needed help getting out of my safety zone since I worked at home all summer.

Thanks in advance.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Lomi

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
45
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Location
Canada
well i will comment on remembering names, a tried and true way to help you remember is to repeat it back, so like You: "By the way my name is Joe." Her: "I am Cindy." You: "Was nice chatting with your Cindy, would you like to get together sometime so we can continue our conversation?"

that helps me remember names.
 

I'm Joe Dirt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 7, 2005
Messages
667
Reaction score
4
Location
Chicago, IL
Yep, repeating names has a twofold effect. Number one it helps you remember and number two it personalizes the conversation so the other person feels like you're focused on the conversation and not just making small talk.
 

Vanilla

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 21, 2003
Messages
254
Reaction score
3
Age
41
Location
California
Originally posted by Lomi
well i will comment on remembering names, a tried and true way to help you remember is to repeat it back, so like You: "By the way my name is Joe." Her: "I am Cindy." You: "Was nice chatting with your Cindy, would you like to get together sometime so we can continue our conversation?"

that helps me remember names.
I've tried doing that, but the more names I have, it's hard to figure out what name goes to what face.

My main concern though, is it natural to introduce myself when I'm leaving?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Vincent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 18, 2002
Messages
3,595
Reaction score
5
Age
40
Originally posted by Vanilla
My main concern though, is it natural to introduce myself when I'm leaving?
No, but it's a problem I think most of us have faced, I know I have. It's a lot easier to just get the conversation rolling then having to work in the whole "Hi my names Vincent" bit. You really just need to bite the bullet and introduce yourself almost immedietely or halfway through. This will give you a more personal conversation then just the late introduction.
 
Top